To Hate Your Own Existence
by Arianna-Janae
Summary: There is a new vampire in Forks with a very interesting past. A vampire who hates what she is. Will she be able to overcome her prejudice to accept the Cullens? Will she find love?
1. Chapter 1

Carlisle's POV

In the small town of Fork's there was never too much commotion. Working in the ER usually meant treating children with high fevers and teenagers with minor broken bones. It was a rare case when we saw a true emergency.

I was just finishing up some paperwork before heading home for the night when it struck me. These two scents together always spelled out trouble. I made my way through the hospital as fast as humanly possible. All the while the possibilities of what I was about to encounter spun through my head. A newborn, it must be a newborn. No one else would leave a drop; unless they meant to change this poor soul. Yes, the combined scent of a vampire and human blood was never a good combination.

I arrived in the emergency triage area just to see a young woman helping an injured man into a wheelchair. Something was out of place. The woman turned to face me, her skin perfect and pale, her eyes a ruddy amber color. She bolted out the door before I could get a word out.

"Dr. Cullen, Dr. Sully just got here, you can go ahead and go home." The nurse informed me as she began to wheel the patient to a room.

"No. I'll take this case. Let Dr. Sully get a few cups of coffee in him first." I smiled, taking the chart from the nurse.

"Why don't we get an IV started for pain while I asses his injuries, Nurse Patty."

"Yes, sir." She beamed as she left the room.

"So, Mr…."

"Klifton, Andrew's my first name."

"Mr. Klifton, can you walk me through exactly what happened to you?"

"My leg really hurts, Dr. I…"

"The nurse will be back shortly to start your IV. Sometimes the pain medication can make you drowsy, so it's necessary to get your background information now."

"Ok. Ah…well. I was hiking in the woods. It rained earlier today, and I guess I didn't realize how slippery the ground was. I fell down the side of an embankment and landed on some rocks. This is where things get fuzzy…" Nurse Patty came in and started Andrew's IV.

"You should feel a lot better in a few minutes." She instructed him.

"Ok, where was I?"

"You said things became fuzzy after you fell." I said.

"Yes, I think I might have passed out, I'm not sure. I looked up to see this woman standing at the top of the hill. I blinked and she was beside me, at least that's what it seemed like. She picked me up like a baby, and I'm no light weight. I'm pushing two hundred here, Doc. Everything seemed to speed up now, flash by. I looked at the lady and I swear she was like glowing or somethin. I thought, she's got to be the most beautiful thing in tha world. I don't know if it was the pain talkin or what. Next th…ing I know, she's settin me down out…side the hospital and walkin me in." His speech was starting to slur as the pain medication took effect.

"Alright, Andrew, I'm going to assess your injuries now. The pain meds have started working."

"Mmhhmm."

Tied above his knee was a crude tourniquet, ripped from a shirt. It smelling like her. I removed it and slipped it into a bag. Blood started flowing freely again, so I applied a medical tourniquet. The smell of the blood affected me not at all. I had separated myself from the desire for it long ago. Helping people is what drove me. Once I had made this my purpose, the draw towards human blood slowly left me.

This vampire who saved him, her eyes were not the ruby red of most who feed off of humans, but somewhere in the middle between blood red and the light honey of my family. Either she had recently begun a vegetarian diet, or she was not yet a year old and had only fed on animals. Both of these instances would make it very hard for her to abstain from indulging her instincts at the smell of human blood. I wanted to find her.

Andrew's leg was badly broken, nearly a compound fracture. Small rocks and debris had imbedded themselves into his skin during his fall. He would require surgery, two plates and eight screws to allow his femur to mend properly. Wound debriment would need to be done as well. I phoned the surgeon on staff to schedule his surgery. It was already past eight pm and the surgeon wanted to postpone the surgery until in the morning. Normally I would object and insist that it be done right away, even doing it myself if need be, but Andrew would be fine for the night. I could hear his nasally snore from down the hallway. I needed to get home.

Jasper was the best tracker we had in the family. I handed him the piece of cloth that had served as Andrew's tourniquet. His eyes dilated at the smell of human blood.

"I am sorry son. I didn't think of how the blood would have an effect on you. Can you pick up her scent?"

"It's alright, and yes, I have her scent. We begin tonight?"

"Yes." I replied.

"Alright!" Emmett chimed in.

" I'm sorry Emmett, but I think it best that just Jasper go. This vampire bolted at the sight of me, and you can be quite… intimidating."

Emmett flexed his muscles with a wry smile on his face. "I know." He gloated.

Jasper's POV

I set off immediately, starting at the hospital as Carlisle had instructed. It was easy to pick up the scent. Unfortunately the vampire had crossed the Quilleute line. I ran up and down the line trying to see if the trail crossed back onto their territory. Luckily, near the northern border I picked up her trail again.

"She's fast."I conceded, stopping momentarily. I set off again, following her scent, pleased that it was getting stronger. Up ahead there was a small pack of deer drinking at a stream. It had been quite a while since I had fed, and I knew the vampire couldn't be far ahead. There was no losing her now.

I took to the trees, as silent as death, watching my prey. Off to the north, there was a muffled sound of leaves crackling that caught my attention. A woman. No, it was her. She inched silently toward the deer; a lioness stalking her prey. Now was not the time for me to make my presence known. The primal urge to feed was not something to interrupt. I sat still and watched.

She launched herself gracefully into the air and landed on the largest deer's back, teeth seeking the animal's throat. The animal buckled under her weight and she let him fall gently to the earthen floor, not even disturbing the other deer around her. _Impressive_. After she was done with the first, she took down the nearest deer. This time with less poise and control_. Yes, she was still young_.

She wiped her mouth on her sleeve after tossing aside the dead carcass. The other deer were long gone; spooked by her sloppy second kill. _There goes lunch_, I thought. She began searching around her; she must have picked up my scent. I quickly shimmied myself down the tree out of view, being careful to make no noise. She had taken a few steps closer. I had no idea how to confront her. My training instructed me to use any means necessary. However I knew Carlisle wanted to make a friend and not a foe.

I took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the tree. She was standing a mere 20 yards away. She froze when she caught sight of me. Then in a split second she lowered her crouch and her eyes narrowed.

"I was hoping that we could share that pack of deer, but it looks like you scared them off." I smiled.

"Don't come any closer." She warned.

I held my hands up in the air. "Whatever you say ma' am."

"Are you following me?" She asked, accusation in her voice.

"Well, um… yes. I just want to talk to you."

"Huh, sorry, I don't buy that."

"My father was the doctor you saw in the hospital. We wanted to talk to you. We don't run into vegetarians very often."

Doubt crept into her expression. I saw her examine me more closely.

"Your eyes…."

"Yes?"

She shook her head slightly. "It has to be a trick. You are all monsters." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Excuse me for pointing this out, but wouldn't you fall into that same category too?"

"Yes, which is why I choose to be _alone_." Her tone changed on the last word, her voice almost cracking at the end.

"Well, you don't have to be…" But she left in a blur. "Looks like the chase is on again." I muttered to myself.

I followed her, trailing her only by fifty yards.

"Look, I'm not going to chase you all over God's creation. You don't have to be alone. If you are ever curious, we have a home in Forks off of the 1-10. You should be able to pick up our scent off the main road."

I couldn't keep chasing her; it would only drive her farther away. Carlisle would say that I gave up too soon but I had a feeling that we would see more of this girl though. She was definitely curious.

BPOV

I'm not that naive. Lily taught me better than that. Vampires are the most deceptive creatures out there. Their eyes were probably some sort of trick. Lily told me that many vampires wore contacts so that they could blend in better with humans. Still, that honey color was strange; not a color I would pick if I was trying to blend in. _No, stop it Bella_, you're making _excuses_ for them. I shook my head as if to rid myself of the thought.

It sickened me to think of all of those innocent people in the hospital. A vampire trying to pass himself off as a doctor who helped people. I wonder what the patient death rate is. No wait, I don't want to know. An involuntary shiver went up my spine. I had half a mind to go back to the hospital to check on the hiker, but with who knows how many vampires casing the place, it was too dangerous.

"Lily, I wish you were here to tell me what to do!"

It had only been months since my transformation, yet it felt like years. I probably should know the exact number of days since I was changed, but after…after _that_, I stopped counting or caring. She saved me. She became my mother, my teacher, my sister, and my friend. I don't remember too much from the night it happened, only my own transformation. I had just gotten into bed around ten o'clock, it was a school night. Mom was downstairs watching TV. I heard the door open, but didn't think anything of it. Only moments had passed when he entered my room. Something wasn't right about him, I noticed that immediately. He seemed…off. I guess that's why it took a second for me to scream. In that same moment, he was on me, his weight crushing me against my bed. His skin was hard as stone and ice cold. Then, he bit me. Pain radiated up my arm, burning through my veins. My screams became frantic. They sounded far away, as if I was under water. The last sound I heard was a feral growl, and the weight that was pushing me down suddenly lifted. But the burning…it stayed. It _spread_… building in intensity. It felt like every nerve ending in my body was screaming. I tried to open my eyes, but couldn't manage to focus on anything for more than an instant. But in that one instant, I saw her. She took me from my home to the place she was staying. It was an old run-down trailer at the edge of town. As my senses began to return, I could hear the subtle constant dripping of water. I could smell the too-fruity air freshener that attempted to mask the odor of cat urine. I heard her pacing, mumbling to herself; cursing and praying in the same sentence. Slowy, my feeling in my limbs began to return, even while my torso remained on fire. My screaming has stopped, I was making a conscious effort to focus on the changes in my body. Slowly, the fire died down. Abruptly, my hearing seemed to go hay wire. Instead of the television in the background, I only heard the beat of my own heart. It was reassuring at first, it meant that I was still alive. In my semi-comatose state, I had begun to worry that I was in some sort of purgatory. Then my heart began accelerating, and rapidly. The sound deafened my ears, the burning pain had centralized and intensified in my heart. I screamed out one last time before it stopped. My heart simply stopped beating and once again I could hear the television in the background. I had heard that the last thing you lose before you die is your hearing. I didn't know that I was already dead.

It must have been several minutes before I willed my eyes to open. When I did, I was stunned. I saw _everything. _Every fiber in the carpet I laid on. Every imperfection in each ceiling tile and each speck of dust resting on the ceiling fan overhead. Concentrating on the sounds, I could still hear the television, but I could also pick up another heartbeat; faster than what I would consider normal. There were locusts outside chirping and possibly a small rodent, rummaging through the garbage a half mile away.

I sat up in one swift motion, my muscles moving in harmony and reacting in a split second. I'm sure I must have looked like an animated corpse in rigor mortis to Lily. She seemed wary the first time I saw her through my new eyes. I'm not sure I could have been as brave as she was. I very well could have killed her on the spot. I was much stronger and much faster than she was. She calmly and patiently explained what had happened to me. She explained my thirst, and the choice that I must make. There was no choice. I didn't want to be the monster that she described; the monster that took my mother from me and ended my life.

I must say that I was lucky it was _him_ who found me. He didn't fit Lily's description of a vampire. Vampire's were quick-witted, cunning, evil, exceptionally intelligent and deceptive. The only term that suited the one who changed me was evil. And who ever changed him was sick. Just think of it, a mentally retarded vampire with super-human strength; his maker must have thought him a cruel, sadistic joke. If he had been a typical vampire of average intelligence, he would have known better than to fear a half-bread. Lily was half-human and half-vampire; a very rare combination. She had speed, and beauty, and was very strong, but could not hold her own against a full-fledged vampire. My special-ed vampire ran in fear at the sound of her growl, not stopping to question the sound of her heart beat or noticing the pale blue of her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lily's Story

Lily was seventy three years old, though she never looked a day over eighteen. She was born in London, but her birth was anything but typical. It wasn't all that uncommon for mothers to die in childbirth at that time, especially when the birth took place at home and without medical care. Lily's birth was anything but common. She clawed her way out of the womb and began to feed on her mother's blood after birth. She remembered in vivid detail the first moments of her horrific life. Her mother only survived for a few moments, long enough to mumble her name; _Lily_ for her pale white skin.

There was another attendant at this strange birth, though he didn't make himself known till after the mother's heart stopped beating. Lily's father taught her what she was, taught her how to survive. For the first three years of her life, she stayed with him and the others, feeding off of humans. It didn't take long for her to develop a conscience. After only two years, she appeared to be the average size of a nine-year old, but she was no typical nine-year old. She was beautiful, with pale luminescent skin and auburn hair that cascaded down to her waist. Her eyes were that piercing clear blue that I still remember. Her intellect was also far superior to any other typical nine-year old.

Her father, Christophe, had created several sisters and one brother. There were nine children in total. He seemed to search for something special in every new child he created, but was always disappointed with the outcome. He was outraged after Thomas was born. Something had gone wrong with Thomas. He cried like any other human baby, and struggled to hold his head up for several weeks after birth. His development seemed painstakingly slow compared with his sisters. This did not make Christophe pleasant company, but he demanded that his children stay with him. The children slept during the day, and hunted at night to avoid discovery. Christophe feared exposure.

Lily grew close to one of her sisters, Abigail. She was the bright spot in her early days. She called her a curious kitty. Abigail had found a piece of chocolate candy one night while hunting. She dared Lily to eat it, and they were stunned at the taste. It did not have the draw that human blood did, but it was not unpleasant either. They began sneaking human food without Christophe's knowledge.

There was a slaughter house several blocks away from the abandoned shack they called home. The smell that came from the place was the most tantalizing aroma they had smelled aside from human blood. That night Abigail and Lily began their vegetarian diet. Within a week's time they had their plan in place. They would leave Christophe and their sisters and brother for a new life.

One night while hunting, they broke off from their family and ran at full speed for the port along the Thames River. Christophe had always taught them to never expose themselves. Always _act_ human. Breaking that one rule this night was their only chance. Human's gasped as they ran by as only a blur, but they didn't stop until they made their destination. They stowed themselves away in the bowels of a tanker, bound for America. They were free.

A half century passed before Lily's life took a dramatic change. She lost her Abigail. Lily never knew what really happened that night. Abby had gone hunting on her own while Lily did her shift at a local diner. Abby never came home from her hunt. Lily skowered the forest a thousand times, searching for tracks, signs of a struggle, ashes, and even a body. She found nothing, but she knew that Abigail would never leave her, not willingly, and not without a reason. I knew how it felt to lose your purpose in life; your best friend.

From that point Lily roamed the continent, revisiting the locations she had been to with Abby. She searched for her relentlessly, eventually making her way to Phoenix many years later. This is where she saved me. She saved me from what I would have become, what she once was, what all true vampires are; Monsters. Lily killed many people in the first three years of her life. She was born a monster, claiming the life of her own mother as her first victim. She had never forgiven herself for that. No matter how much good she did, she never excused herself for those first few years before she had found a different way to live.

We were in Nevada when it happened. We were hunting in a forested region not far from a ritzy subdivision when I heard the scream. Lily and I exchanged a quick glance and ran toward the noise. We were too late to save the girl; her body was devoid of any life. There wasn't even the flicker of a heart beat remaining in her still form. We didn't have long to consider the girl when the territorial vampire leapt on Lily. He wasted no time and tore the flesh from her neck as if he was slicing into warm butter. I stood in place, the stone of my body petrified. My mind couldn't will my body to move as the blood was drained from her body. With her last breath she told me to run.

Lily had never taught me how to fight or how to defend myself from anything more than a grizzly bear. I was strong and very fast having only been turned three months ago. Like a coward I followed Lily's last command and ran as fast as I could fighting back tears that would never fall. I hated myself to the core of my being for letting her die, for _watching_ her die while I stood there and did _nothing._ I left my purpose for life in that room.

I didn't know how one could die in this body, but I tried. On the west coast, I dove off of cliffs to face a rocky bottom below. My granite body had been broken into a thousand pieces, but each piece rejoined like some elaborate jigsaw puzzle. I watched in horror as piece by piece I was put back together. I sat on those rocks for days, contemplating my existence; the promises I had made to Lily. She had made me promise that I would never turn into a monster. She also had me promise to never expose myself for what I was to humans. Her last most binding request was to stay _alive._ At the time I thought it silly, it didn't take a doctor's examination to tell me that I was dead. But sitting on those rocks, I understood what she meant. I'm sure she knew that her lifestyle would end ultimately in her death. She had only been lucky that night she saved me. She wanted me to live in her absence. So I turned to the only other thing in my half-life that drove me, silly as it was.

I had one living relative, my father. It had been awhile since I had seen him. Mom had custody of me, and I only visited during summers. I had hated the cold, rainy weather in Washington. There was that and the fact that my father wasn't much of the entertainer. But now, he felt like the only part left of my former life; of my humanity. I felt as though I had to keep him safe, but from a distance. He could never see me. I could never have a relationship with him again.

I was hunting in the woods when I came across the hiker. Resting the temptation of his blood was the second hardest thing that I had to do in this life. The first was leaving Lily, this in comparison was nothing in my grief. I was also bound too tightly to my promises to her. I did what Lily would have done and brought him to the nearest hospital. Nothing was difficult to find in this small town. Night had already fallen in Forks and the temperature was falling as quickly as the darkness. I knew the hiker would sooner freeze to death than bleed out.

Who would have known that the small sleepy town of Forks had a coven of vampires living among them.

It was time for me to find out more about them.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

My father was the local police chief in the small town of Forks Washington; Chief Charlie Swan. The townspeople respected him and depended on him to protect them. With my newfound knowledge of vampires living nearby, it now seemed that _he_ was the one in need of protection. I knew my kind well. Vampire killings were often blamed on animals in the more rural areas. The predator would use their razor sharp nails to slash the skin of their victims to mimic a brutal animal attack. It was the perfect crime. Even with the advances in modern forensics, vampires never left behind DNA evidence. And in the naive world we live in, where vampires are merely legends to teach us to fear the night, the culprit went free to murder again.

Here in Forks, my father's job put him in harm's way, more so than the average person. He was the one to investigate the "_animal attacks_". Charlie was all I had left in this world. My kind had killed everything that I loved. They had taken my mother, my best friend, and my very life. I would _be damned_ if they were going to take my father.

The shabby two-story home before me was the home Charlie and my mother, Renee, shared when I was a baby. From fifty yards away, I could tell that there was no one home; no heartbeat. It seemed wrong to break into the police chief's home, but I was curious. I found the second-story window was unlocked.

I had memories of this room, though they were now almost ghostly and unclear. This was _my _room, painted a pale green with a twin bed adorned with a quilt my grandmother had made. Everything was covered in dust. It seemed exactly the same as my last visit here. _Had Charlie even set foot into this room since I had been here last summer?_ I went downstairs to find what could only be described as a bachelor pad. The big screen TV cost more than the rest of the furniture on the ground floor. The refrigerator held condiments, a half-gallon of milk, and leftovers from the local diner. The cabinets were still the same color that my mother had painted them so many years ago. It seemed like the house was stuck in time, unchanged since the happier days when we lived here as a family. That brought both joy and sadness to me. He was alone, _just like me;_ holding onto the memories of a happier time.

I _had_ to find out more about the vampires. Firing up Charlie's old computer, I prayed he had an internet connection. _Great AOL_. Twenty minutes later the modem _finally_ connected. First step: find a name. The hospital's directory provided me that. Dr. Carlisle Cullen smiled back at me from the computer screen - a god among men. With the clarity that a vampire's vision provided, it was a wonder how anyone could believe that the cold, dead and surreally beautiful features of a vampire could ever be considered human. Now I had one of their names, but I knew there was more. How many I wasn't sure.

There was something that the vampire in the woods had mentioned. Something that was odd to me. He referred to his coven as a "family". Perhaps they all used the same family name of Cullen.

I tried to search the name "Cullen" in Forks, but I came up with nothing. I would actually have to venture into town to find out anything else. _This would be tricky_.

My father was a well-recognized man in town, and during my summer visits he made sure to introduce me to everyone he knew. The face of Isabella Swan would not go unnoticed, and eventually it would get back to Charlie. I would need to change my appearance.

I decided to make a quick trip to Seattle for a makeover. This in and of itself went against the very grain of who I was. I was never a person to take a vested interest in my personal appearance. The end result of my makeover was pretty remarkable. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. My hair was now a light brown with even lighter blonde highlights; a far cry from my drab brown. The contacts I wore turned my amber eyes into a strange hazel. I would have to remind myself to change them out every two hours while in public, or else my venom would eat right through them. My usually bare lips were now a glossy pink. With makeup and all, I felt like Alabaster Barbie. One thing was for certain. No one would recognize me.

The run back into town was exhilarating. This part of the country was truly beautiful. Even as a human I was struck with its beauty, but now I was looking at it through new eyes. Seeing every leaf and feeling the sponginess of the moss underneath my bare feet. There was lingering moisture in the air; it felt light on my skin.

By the time I returned to Forks, it was late in the evening, an hour before dusk. I didn't have much time until the library closed. I wanted to look through the old newspapers for more information about this "family". It took only 15 minutes to find my first piece of information. There was a small article when Dr. Cullen first moved to Forks. With his long list of achievements, it was no wonder that this town considered themselves lucky to have the doctor and his family in town. In fact I was surprised that the story didn't make the front page. Dr. Cullen, a Yale graduate, PHD, and credited with ground-breaking research in new surgery techniques. He was married to Mrs. Esme Cullen and had five adopted children who all attended Forks Intermediate. So, the vampire in the forest must pose as his son; interesting. The undead still had to go to school? I really didn't see the point to that, other than trying to keep up appearances; which this coven seemed to really take seriously. The paper was dated over three years ago. After finding only one article about the Cullens, I decided to look for disappearances and animal maulings in the area. There were only two disappearances in the last ten years and three animal maulings, far less than I would have suspected.

I had a lot to consider. How could a coven of vampires living amongst people for over three years go undetected? They must hunt far away from home as to not bring attention to themselves. But then why go through the trouble to live their lives among humans? They were obviously very good at covering their tracks without having to be in the public eye. It didn't seem to make any sense. There had to be more to this puzzle that I was missing and I _had_ to get to the bottom of it.

As long as I was sticking around town, I'd have to find a place to stay. I now had only five minutes before the library closed, and the light mist outside had now become a steady downpour. There was a newspaper laying on a table a few seats down. I flipped it to the small section of houses for sale in the area. I found the most secluded one "nestled on five acres three miles out of town". It also happened to be the most expensive home for sale on the market; a fully-furnished summer home. For once it seemed I had hit the jackpot.

Fourteen minutes later I was prying out one of the small panes in the French Doors. Once inside I couldn't believe my luck. This place was nicer than the ritzy hotel Lily and I had stayed in while we were in New York. Most vampires never seemed to have trouble with money. They just pocketed whatever they found on their victims, some even withdrawing the contents of bank accounts. I had grown up on a kindergarten teacher's salary, and chose to make an honest living picking up odd jobs while Lily and I traveled across the country. I was a great waitress; never dropped a dish or spilled a drink. I didn't have to pay for food, so there was one expense avoided. The only real thing we needed to pay for was room and board and clothes. Lily was the one who showed me the money-saving tip I was now using. Free room and board in a vacant home. With vampire senses, I had several minutes warning when someone was coming to the house. Plenty of time to leave the home in the exact same condition I found it in. I could wait in the forest for the hour or two the home buyers browsed, and then return to my temporary home.

I would have to be aware of the amount of electricity that I used while in the house. It would be difficult to explain a spike in usage from an empty home. Most people wouldn't care about that as they would be long gone before the bill arrived, but not me. I didn't want anyone else to foot the bill for me. Besides, it's not like I needed to turn on the lights to see at night. The dim light from even the tiniest sliver of the moon was sufficient to illuminate the house enough for me to avoid colliding with the furniture. The house only served as a place for me to avoid the weather and gather my thoughts. I still had many questions about these "Cullens", and I knew my next step in answering some of those questions. Unfortunately, I would be returning to _High School_.

"What the…" Well that one hundred and fifty dollar dye job went to _shit_. No one told me you can't dye a vampire's hair. Lily changed her hair every few months without a problem. And to make matters worse my brand new leather jacket was now streaked, just like my hair should have been. It must have washed out on my way to the house. Either I wait another day to enroll at Forks High or its back to Seattle to find a decent wig.

At ten a.m. I hit the mall in Seattle. A half hour later I left wearing my Hannah Montana wig and a new leather jacket. Forty minutes after that I was back in Forks city limits. I went back to my borrowed residence to forge transfer paperwork from my school in Phoenix. Lily showed me how where to find "do it yourself" birth certificates and social security cards. I used my actual social security number and managed to find emancipation documents relieving me from having to pay someone to pose as my parents. My name was Abigail Winters, I was seventeen years old and had just moved here from Phoenix. I was supposedly staying with Charlie, my "_uncle_", listing his address as my residence. Now all I had to do was hurry up and wait until tomorrow. On second thought, I decided to call the school and fax over all of my documents this afternoon. One less step to have to do in the morning. Unfortunately I don't think that the receptionist had ever used a fax machine. In fact it took several minutes for her to locate it. Apparently she just thought it was a strange telephone.

Twenty two minutes later, she confirmed that she had all of my documents and couldn't wait to meet me in the morning. Either she had perfected the feigned interest in her phone voice, or she was truly perpetually happy. I guess I would find out bright and early tomorrow morning. _Yeah_.

Tonight, I would hunt. I usually shied away from places packed with people, because the thirst was still a little difficult for me to manage. I honestly believed that there wasn't a chance that I could slip up and…hurt someone, but I wasn't about to test that theory. I followed the highway out of town running along the road just inside the tree line; out of view. I didn't stop until several miles had passed without any signs of civilization. I then headed deeper into the forest hoping to find an easy meal.

The dense forest formed a green canopy overhead. Even though it was sunny today, the sun barely touched my skin. Where it did, rainbows were cast on the tree trunks and grassy beds. It was early September, and the leaves on some of the trees were beginning to change to their autumn hues. In Phoenix I hated this time of year. For one, Phoenix didn't have seasons like the rest of the nation. There was only one maybe two seasons; three-fourths of the year it was summer, the other one-fourth of the year was winter. But that wasn't why I hated this time of year, it was the fact that my human birthday was on September, the 13th, and I _hated_ birthdays. I absolutely despised being the center of attention. Now, luckily birthdays were a thing of the past. There was _one_ benefit to my new existence.

The first prey I came across was a black bear and her cub. I had made a rule for myself to never eat anything that had children, so I continued my search. Wonderful! A lone elk was drinking from a small brook that ran through the forest. He hadn't heard my approach, even though I was now only ten yards away. I felled him without a sound, draining the last ounce of blood in less than two minutes. My thirst was satiated with just the one elk, but I still needed more. I had to make sure I would be able to resist the temptation of human blood. After all I would be bombarded with it tomorrow.

As I delved deeper into the forest, I heard a strange sound. The sound of tires on gravel and the gentle purr of an engine coming to a halt. I made my way silently toward the sound and a grand home came into view. I car door shut followed quickly by another door opening. No sound could be heard in between; no footsteps on gravel, and more importantly, no heartbeat. The resident or residents of this home were vampires. It seemed I stumbled upon the Cullen's home. I climbed high up a tree; level with the third-story of the home. There were muffled conversations from inside the home. I wasn't able to distinguish the words, as they were spoken too quickly and too low for me to hear from this distance. However, I _was_ able to differentiate between the different pitches of the voices enough to distinguish that there were six vampires in the home. I wanted to stay and see if I could find out any more information about this strange "_family_", but I feared being discovered and still needed to hunt. Besides, there was always tomorrow. I wasn't suffering through High School for the fun of it.

After draining a deer, I felt I couldn't possibly handle another drop of blood or I would pop. It was back to my temporary home to curl up with a good book and wait till sunrise.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The sunrise was perfect this morning; hidden behind impenetrable clouds. Time for Abby to go to school. _Fun_. If it was capable for me to have butterflies in my stomach, I would have. The first day at a new school was always nerve-racking. This time was different though.

I ran three-quarters of the way to the school, walking the last quarter just to be safe. Luckily the school was nestled in a densely forested area to the north, which is the direction I came from. I set foot on the blacktop of the parking lot, noticing I was one of the first people here. Most of the vehicles present were older mid-sized coupes; more than likely belonging to faculty members.

I glanced at my watch, _seven thirty-two_. Based on how long Mrs. Cope took yesterday just going over my paperwork, I decided I would need the extra time to deal with her before class began. After walking in the front doors of the fifties-style building, I easily made my way to the office.

When I entered the room I was bombarded with Mrs. Cope's perfume. The thermostat had to be set near eighty-degrees, making the floral scent smell more like fermenting wine. It was so strong I barely even noticed the scent of her blood, and that was saying a lot.

"Mrs. Cope?"

"Yes, dear?" She asked, looking up from her romance novel.

"I spoke with you yesterday, my name is Abigail Winters."

She hopped up from her chair. "Oh! Yes, yes yes. I have your paperwork…somewhere around here." She fumbled around the small office, opening desk drawers and filing cabinets, shuffling through papers, and even looking under her desk. Thank goodness I had the forethought to get here early.

"I know it's around here somewhere…"

"I faxed you the paperwork yesterday if that helps jog your memory. If not, I have them with me." I offered.

"Oh, no, I know I printed out your schedule, I'm just not sure where I placed it. Obviously I'm not much for organization. It's just so rare we have a new student, you see."

"Can I help you look?"

"Oh, aren't you sweet, dear. Sure, just watch your step coming around here."

With all her huffing and puffing, her normally rosy cheeks had become an almost plum color. As I rounded the desk another middle-aged woman came into the office and made a bee-line straight to the nurse's office. I held my breath as she passed just in case. Opening the top drawer of the filing cabinet, it was no wonder Mrs. Cope had trouble keeping track of things. There were folders sorted by last names, and then some that just had the year labeled on the top of the tab. I started with the A's and found my file immediately.

"I have it Mrs. Cope; it was just miss-filed under my first name instead of my last." I handed her the file folder.

"Let me just make a copy and get you a map of the school before you go. Abigail Winters, that's right! I don't know how I miss-filed that. I remember thinking Winters, like on that vampire soap opera, Dark Shadows. There was a character named Victoria Winters, I remember I always loved that name." She looked up at me then, and I'm sure my face must have been frozen in some strange expression. "Oh, it was an old soap opera, I'm sure you're too young to have heard of it. It was quite racy for its time though. Anyhow…where was I. Oh yes, copies."

As she walked over to the copy machine to make copies, I glanced at my watch; seven fifty-three. She must have noticed me doing so.

"I'll write you an excuse too, sweetie, in case you're late." She placed a piece of paper on the Formica counter top. "Here is the map. Let's see, you have…Government first which is in this building." She circled the building with a red pen. It was all the way across the campus. Good thing the campus was relatively small. In fact it was tiny compared to my school in Phoenix.

"OK, here we go. Here is your schedule, your locker and combination, the map, and your student handbook. Welcome to Forks High School, Abigail!"

"Thank you Mrs. Cope." There was no way to match her enthusiasm, so I didn't even try.

"Oh, wait! Your excuse, I'm afraid you'll need this. It's a bit of a trek across campus."

I smiled warmly at her and took the excuse. If there weren't packed hallways of other students trying to make their way to their classes, I could have made it to class in mere seconds. Too bad there were witnesses around. At this pace, I'd have to wait till after my first class to find my locker.

I tentatively took my first step out of the office, waiting for the scent to hit me, and boy did it! My throat was instantly ablaze with fire. Instinctively I grabbed it, as if that would help the ache. Holding my breath I made my way through the crowds. The bell rang, increasing the pace of everyone around me. Soon everyone was in their classes, except for a few stragglers and myself.

After I had my last breath of fresh un-tainted air, I entered the building my class was in. The hallway was empty, but I could smell the warm bodies that filled each class as I passed it. Of course my class was at the end of the hall.

I leaned my back against the wall outside my class. I focused on the number of heart beats in the room; twenty. I could hear the teacher shuffling papers on the desk and students talking about the upcoming dance. I took a preliminary breath to test myself. I was hit like a Mac truck with the aroma. I could feel my nostrils flare and my eyes dilate. _Focus, Bella, focus. I can do this, I've been in situations like this before, it's just been awhile._ I took another breath, deeper this time; a little easier. I clutched my book bag tightly, and prepared to go in, when I heard a voice.

This voice was smooth, melodic. It was also spoken so low and quick, that a human couldn't have heard it. "I think you should go to the restroom…_now_." Without missing a beat another "student" spoke, "May I use the restroom, Mr. George." If I had a heart beat, it would have stopped at the sound of his voice. As it was I was momentarily frozen in my current state, foolishly hoping he would speak again.

"Just this once, Mr. Cullen, but next time, I suggest you do your business before class."

I could hear light footsteps approach the front of the class, and panic set in. How ridiculous I was. I was here for a reason, to find out more about the very person who would be walking out this door in a matter of moments. And all I could think of was running away like a scared little girl. I did just that, and bolted through the doors.

I glanced quickly at my surroundings once outside to see if there was anyone else around. There wasn't, so I ran for the closest tree cover with inhuman speed. I didn't have to look behind me to know that I was being followed, I _felt_ it. I didn't pause for a moment once I hit the tree-line to the north of the school. I knew that I was young, and I had speed on my side.

"Please stop. I'd just like to talk to you for a moment." The velvet voice came from closer behind me than I expected. He was right on my heels. His voice seemed composed; unstrained from the brisk pace. He was fast, faster than a newborn. I refused to slow down, refused even to speak with him. Instead I drove myself faster still, deeper into the depths of the damp forest, but he remained right at my back.

I could hear the sound of water flowing a few miles ahead. There must be a small river up ahead. Sure enough, the trees grew even thicker as I approached the river, but I didn't slow my pace.

"I wouldn't cross that river if I were you." The silken voice sang. I didn't listen, and leapt over the brook. I was astounded when he stopped his pursuit. I turned for the first time to look at him.

He had backed away from the river into the shade of the trees, but I could still make out his perfect features. His bronze hair was windswept in perfect disarray atop his head. His angular features, high defined cheekbones, strong jaw, and luscious lips surpassed the epitome of perfection that sculptors and artists had failed to achieve throughout the ages. His eyes seemed to bore their way into my soul. Those golden orbs peered from under his furrowed brow, as if he were straining to see something. He was the monster that beckoned his victims with his utter beauty.

A growl broke through the air, and I snapped my head in the direction it came from. Yet another legend come to life. A massive wolf was bounding towards me, and closing the distance fast. I shot off following the river towards the ocean's bank several miles ahead. I heard a rustle on the other side of the river and was shocked to find the vampire continuing his pursuit.

"I'm sure you'll find this side of the river to be much more hospitable." He jested. I risked a glance his direction and saw a wry grin affixed to his impossible face. Bad mistake, the slight falter in my attention had shortened the distance between the wolf and I. The wolf seemed to suddenly pick up his pace as we neared the waterfall. I could feel its breath at my back, smell its foul stench.

I made my final leap off the edge of the cliff and felt my clothes catch on something. While airborne, I flipped over to see if the wolf had taken the plunge with me, but I saw him atop the mountain, clawing at the ground in frustration. Another figure stood at the cliff's edge, his hands crossed over his chest with what I thought could only be described as a smug look on his face.

I collided with the water, knocking the unnecessary breath out of my chest. I was instantly submerged in the dark, murky water. I kicked off the rocky bottom of the ocean to shoot back up to the surface. There, I found my wig floating next to me, and my vision was suddenly unclouded by my contacts. I looked up once more to the cliff above, and only one figure stood.

Clutching my wig along with any shred of dignity that I had left, I made my way to the shore. There were some humans on the beach, who had apparently seen my dive, and now applauded me as I made my way back to the road along the beach. I couldn't help myself and glanced back towards the cliff top, but there was no one there.

I hadn't done too thorough of a job familiarizing myself with the land around Forks. I had no idea where I was. I looked around trying to get my bearings, but it was no use.

"Are you alright?" My head snapped toward the voice. Remembering that I didn't have my contacts in, I shielded my eyes with my hand, which probably looked absurd under these cloudy conditions. My other hand hid my wig under my leather jacket.

"Yeah, I guess I didn't think the water would be that cold."

"Well you're as white as a sheet." He reached out to touch me, "And as cold as ice!" His black eyes shot open wide at the touch of my skin. I shrugged away from his touch.

"I'll be ok, I just need to get back to town…And which way do I go to do that?"

"See this road here?" I nodded. "You'll take it for about a mile until you hit an intersection. Take a right there, and that will take you straight into town. But it will be a long trip on foot."

"Oh, um, I'm parked up the road a ways. Thanks for the directions." I started walking in the direction he had pointed out.

"Um…bye." He called out after me, and I half turned and lifted my hand to wave.

I slowly made my way in the direction the guy had pointed out. Once I was sure I was out of view, I crept back into the cover of the forest and began running back to my temporary home. Along the way, I debated whether or not I should even attempt to go back to school. If I bolted every time I saw one of the "Cullen's" than what was the point. I guess I had only been taught how to run away from my fears. No one in my life, human and vampire, had showed me how to stand up for myself much less how to defend myself. What was I thinking exposing myself like that to a whole coven of vampires?

The one I had seen today was the prime example of your typical vampire. We are designed to lure in our prey. His face, his hypnotic voice, and the confidence he practically exuded. If I didn't know any better I'd be head over heels for him. Fortunately, Lily had warned me about them…us. I couldn't deny that I was that which I feared the most.

Prying out the same glass panel of the French doors, I made my way inside my temporary residence. My brisk run had dried my clothes, but I still looked horrible; make up streaming down my face, hair utterly tangled, and my poor wig had seen better days. I needed a shower. Taking off my jacket, I noticed four long slash marks on my back. The wolf was closer than I thought.

So odd, how the wolf only went after me, when the other vampire was only yards away. And then once I dove off the cliff, they stood no more than fifteen feet from each other. The vampire had mentioned something about the river. Was it a dividing line? Wolf territory and Vampire territory? I mused while rinsing the conditioner from my hair. Why would supposed sworn enemies agree to co-exist?

Once I shut off the water, I was keenly aware that I was no longer the only person in the house. I heard footsteps in the living room downstairs. Wrapping my towel around myself, I peered downstairs from the second story landing. He was there, in my living room, making no attempt at stealth. How arrogant.

"I didn't want to alarm you. You left the back door open. Like I said before, I just want to talk."

There was that painfully smooth voice that almost made my cold heart ache.

"And I thought I was pretty clear in the fact that I _don't_ want to speak to you."

"We just want to know why you are here."

I snorted. "What, are you the town's _protectors_?" I scoffed.

"If by that you mean that we don't hunt humans, then yes. But if I'm correct in my assumption, neither do you."

"Yes, you are correct I your assumption, but I don't believe you." I rifled through my small backpack for some clothes.

"You thought you were the only one?" His voice was amused, mocking.

"I guess you can say that I was _raised_ better. I had a very different _upbringing_ into this life." Once decent, I made my way down the stairs. I was shocked by what I saw. He was God-like. My previous glance hadn't done him justice. His face was an angel's face, but his body was…mouthwatering. His tan sweater clung to him, defining every muscle of his sculpted chest. He was downright sinful. I gasped at the sight of him.

"You have yet to meet my father. You might find that our upbringings were not so different after all." He smiled a wry half-grin, and I swear my dead heart beat to life….He was repulsing.

I couldn't help but stare at him blankly. He seemed to be waiting for my come-back.

"I promise no harm will come to you." I found my gumption again.

"As if your promise means anything to me?" I spat.

"I understand. But if you ever have questions, here is our address, though I believe you've been there once before." He placed a piece of paper on the table. I stared at him with an expression that I hoped resembled defiance rather than just ogling.

He made his way to the door. "I hope to see you in class tomorrow." I crossed my arms over my chest. "By the way, you look better as a brunette." I heard my mouth fall open. Thankfully he was already gone.


	5. Chapter 5

I know it's been super long since I've updated this story. Forgive me, but I find it really difficult to constantly switch gears between two stories. So I know hope to make this story my main priority. I will also try to update Candy Striping, though that may take some more time because I frankly only intended it to be a One Shot. I've had such great feedback though (thank you!) that I think I'll see what I can come up with. As for Neverending Night, she is done for now. Possible sequels or spin-offs in the *distant* future.

All the italicized text is from the previous chapter. It's been so long since I've updated that I felt the whole interchange between Edward and Bella was needed. So, if you remember the last chapter, just skip over this part. =)

Chapter 5

_Once I shut off the water, I was keenly aware that I was no longer the only person in the house. I heard footsteps in the living room downstairs. Wrapping my towel around myself, I peered downstairs from the second story landing. He was there, in my living room, making no attempt at stealth. How arrogant._

_"I didn't want to alarm you. You left the back door open. Like I said before, I just want to talk."_

_There was that painfully smooth voice that almost made my cold heart ache._

_"And I thought I was pretty clear in the fact that I __don't__ want to speak to you."_

_"We just want to know why you are here."_

_I snorted. "What, are you the town's __protectors__?" I scoffed._

_"If by that you mean that we don't hunt humans, then yes. But if I'm correct in my assumption, neither do you."_

_"Yes, you are correct I your assumption, but I don't believe you." I rifled through my small backpack for some clothes._

_"You thought you were the only one?" His voice was amused, mocking._

_"I guess you can say that I was __raised__ better. I had a very different __upbringing__ into this life." Once decent, I made my way down the stairs. I was shocked by what I saw. He was God-like. My previous glance hadn't done him justice. His face was an angel's face, but his body was…mouthwatering. His tan sweater clung to him, defining every muscle of his sculpted chest. He was downright sinful. I gasped at the sight of him._

_"You have yet to meet my father. You might find that our upbringings were not so different after all." He smiled a wry half-grin, and I swear my dead heart beat to life….He was repulsing._

_I couldn't help but stare at him blankly. He seemed to be waiting for my come-back._

_"I promise no harm will come to you." I found my gumption again._

_"As if your promise means anything to me?" I spat._

_"I understand. But if you ever have questions, here is our address, though I believe you've been there once before." He placed a piece of paper on the table. I stared at him with an expression that I hoped resembled defiance rather than just ogling._

_He made his way to the door. "I hope to see you in class tomorrow." I crossed my arms over my chest. "By the way, you look better as a brunette." I heard my mouth fall open. Thankfully he was already gone._

It took a moment to re-assemble the puddle of mush back into a person.

I couldn't believe my reaction to a simple compliment. "Pull yourself back together, Bella." I thought I'd be immune to their – _our_ – abilities to affect people. I'm _not _human; I shouldn't be swooning at every crooked smile or raging with hormones every time he speaks.

I had to get out of here. Clear my mind. I needed to _run_.

I flew from the house at top speed, watching the trees whip past me as my feet fell silently on the forest floor. The crisp mountain air smelled like moss and tree sap; sweet and earthy at the same time.

I was surprised when the quaint little white house came into view; Charlie's house. When I started running, I had no destination or direction in mind. Though, I guess it made sense that I would end up here. Charlie was the only thing that tethered me to my humanity; my family. Just being around this house brought back memories of my summers here. The pictures that flashed through my mind seemed to be covered in a murky film. They lacked the detail and clarity that my vampire memories had. It's funny how the things you want to hold onto the most seem to fade away. Like the smell of my mother's skin after she'd been out in the sun, or the Christmas when I got my first Legos and didn't even bother opening my other gifts. The memories I cherish from my human life become more difficult to remember as time goes by. Meanwhile, the pain of my transformation, and the memory of my only friend dying in front of me; those are the memories that haunt me every moment of this miserable life. Even worse was the fact that I will carry _them_ with me for eternity.

I approached Charlie's house carefully, coming around the back so that I would be shielded by the infringing forest. There was one heartbeat inside. I took comfort in its sound – so steady and strong. The wind gusted out of the north then, bringing with it a familiar smell; _vampire_. _Shit! _Instead of protecting Charlie, I end up bringing the danger to him_._ It was a _Cullen_, the one with the southern drawl. _He must have followed my scent here!_

I had to reign in my emotions before I flew off the handle and did something stupid. I needed to see him, know that he was alright. But Charlie was safe, he hadn't harmed him. _Heartbeat, remember?_

I peered into the large windows at the back of the house. The living room was empty, as was the kitchen. Charlie was upstairs. The only two rooms that were upstairs were the bathroom and my bedroom. _Great timing_, _Bella, check up on him right as he's doing his business_.

I heard Charlie's loud exhale of breath then. It didn't echo the way it should if he were in the bathroom. No, he was in _my_ room. I climbed the tree that stood outside my window. Sure enough, I found my father sitting silently on my bed. _What was he doing in there?_ Slowly, minute by minute passed, but he still didn't move. The phone rang downstairs. The sound jolted me out of my trance. I almost fell out of the tree. _Great, Bella, even as a vampire you're_ still _clumsy_. Charlie slowly rose, wiping a hand across his face before shutting the door behind him. _Was he crying? _In all my sixteen years on this earth, I had never seen my father cry – _ever_. I couldn't help the overwhelming sense of guilt that washed over me. _I _was causing him pain. My death had left him utterly alone in this world. Evan worse than that was the fact that my death was unsolved – my casket empty.

If only I could tell him I was alright. If only I could be there for him now. _He'd run at the sight of you_, my subconscious told me. _You're a monster; he would never accept you for what you've become._ Still, I had to do something.

_You can keep him safe, that's all you _can_ do_. Yes, I could keep him safe. After all, that's what I'd come here to do. I leaped from the tree landing silently on the damp grass; resolute in my decision.

Charlie picked up the phone on the fifth ring.

"Hello." His voice sounded different than I remembered. Gruffer, pained, and older.

"From the High School? Is there a problem?" _Shit!_ It was Mrs. Cope! She must have called to see why I skipped the rest of the day. I scanned the house, locating the phone line. I sprang to the roof and severed the cord with a simple flick of the wrist. The limp line fell to the side of the house, making a loud clack as it hit the wood siding.

"Hello?..._Hello_?" Charlie continued to talk into the receiver. "Damn it, no dial tone. What the…" He stomped outside to find the severed phone line. "Shit! Damn squirrels! Munch'n through the phone line…gonna shoot 'em next time I see one." He grumbled to no one.

I watched my father, mesmerized by the way he moved. Some poor squirrel was going to lose its life to keep my secret. Not to mention, Charlie would now have the cost to repair his phone line because of me.

I couldn't give Mrs. Cope any more reasons to call Charlie. So it was back to school tomorrow. I needed Charlie to stay in the dark while keeping a close eye on the Cullens. Going to school was the only way for me to accomplish both. _Keep your friends close and your enemies closer_. Well, I didn't have any friends, so the Cullen's and I were about to become _besties_. Joy. I'd spend all night perfecting my best fake smile for the filthy blood-suckers.

I stopped for a quick snack before returning home. The only edible creature I happened to come across was a rabbit. And when I say it was edible, I mean just barely. I hunted only when I needed to, and felling a deer right now would be overkill. No pun intended. But the bunny would help with the sea of humans I would face again tomorrow.

As I neared my borrowed home, I quickly became aware of the fact that it was now inhabited. It seemed the _Cullens_ had a habit of just letting themselves in. Their scents all smelled similar, but this one I hadn't encountered before.

I approached with caution, having no clue what was waiting for me inside. As I made my way around the back of the house I found the French door wide open. Music was playing and I swear I heard..._humming_? It was the female's voice I heard in the classroom yesterday.

I stalked inside, sending out my senses as feelers ahead of me. She was upstairs in the master bedroom – in the master closet? _Strange_. I slowly made my way up the stairs, knowing that she had to be aware of my presence in the home by now. Yet, she continued to hum to the music, a full octave higher than the singer. I had to admit she had a beautiful voice. Then again, that's pretty much the status quo among _my_ kind.

I heard a rustling sound of material as I got closer. What the hell was she doing? Her humming stopped suddenly and with it, the music.

"We really need to take you shopping." A soprano voice chimed from inside the room. I didn't really have a snarky comeback to that one.

"Who the hell are you?" Was all I could manage. A spiky-haired pixie appeared in the hallway next to me. _And I thought I was short_. She was just too cute to be scary, I decided. I had to fight back the urge to pat her on the head.

"I'm Alice." She smiled showing her perfect white teeth. "We're going to be friends."

"M'kay. May I ask what you are doing in my house? Your family seems to have an issue with boundaries. I keep drawing them, and you keep stepping right on over."

She giggled and it was all bells. She was right next to me in a flash, crossing another one of my "boundaries" of personal space. "Hmmm. I thought you would smell better. I guess it's not my opinion that matters though."

"Am I supposed to know what that means?" Cryptic little fairy.

"You will soon enough." And there was that blinding smile again. Maybe she was a "special" vampire, like the one who turned me. There was something that was definitely _off_ about this girl. At least she was entertaining. "Oh, I didn't catch your name."

"That's because I didn't tell you my name." She shook her head like I was clearly missing her point. But I knew that I needed to play friends with these vampires, so I conceded. "Abigail."

"Really?" Was I really that bad of a liar?

"Um, yeah."

"It just doesn't sound right." She stared at a point past my head in silence for a moment. "Oh well. Nice to meet you, Abby. Is it all right if I call you that?"

"Sure, knock yourself out."

"Now, what were you planning on wearing to school tomorrow? Your wardrobe is seriously lacking, although I did manage to salvage your wig." She retrieved my wig from the nightstand. You would have never known that that poor thing had been launched off a cliff and submerged in the ocean.

"Thanks." I said, taking it from her.

"I don't understand why you wear it though."

"I just wanted to try something different. No one told me I couldn't dye my hair."

"Nope, it just washes out. Trust me, I've tried _everything_. So I was hoping you'd come with me. We really need to get you some more clothes." She seemed so sincere; like she really did just want to help me. I was smarter than that, though.

_Be nice, Bella_. "I can't let you buy me clothes, that's not right."

"Don't worry about it." She said with a flippant wave of her hand.

"I can't take other people's money." Especially the money of their dead victims. I knew how vampires acquire their money; right out of their meals' pockets.

"Well, then will you accept hand-me-downs?"

"Um, I guess."

Before I had a moment to change my mind, Alice was hauling me down the stairs and out the French doors.

"Where are we going?"

"To my house, of course."

"What, now?"

"Well yes, I mean you _do_ need something to wear tomorrow. And I'd really consider ditching the wig too; you look so much better as a brunette."

"No." I broke free from her grasp, rooting my feet in place.

"Suit yourself, wear the wig, but it will only wash you out." She continued past the tree-line. "Are you coming?" Her black doe eyes looked hurt as she waited for my response. Why did she have to give me _that_ look? She was so cute, how could she be dangerous?

"Who will be there?"

"Oh." She seemed to pick up on my reservation, but then I swear I saw a hint of a smile. "It'll just be the girls. The boys are out hunting and Carlisle is at work." I swallowed unnecessarily, trying to fight back the venom that pooled in my throat at the image of the boys "hunting". And the doctor, pretending to save lives while he was really ending them. "Come on Abby, I promise we won't bite." She giggled. That was the line that sent it overboard for me.

"You sicken me! Making jokes out of killing people. Well I don't find your sarcasm funny at all. I wish you'd just…" As the words flew out of my mouth I saw Alice's smile morph into shock.

"We. Don't. Hunt. Humans." She stated coldly with intensity in her eyes. "I haven't killed a human in over fifty years. We're not the bad guys, Abby. My family and I only hunt animals. Come with me; see for yourself. I don't know how else to convince you."

I stared at her stoic face, contemplating. Could I really trust them? _No, of course you can't. They are the ultimate deceivers. It's in their very nature._ _Can't you see that? _

"I'm sorry, Alice. I'll see you at school tomorrow." Without so much as glance in her direction, I walked back inside and closed the doors behind me. Once upstairs, I peeked through the blinds to see her retreat into the cover of darkness. Night had fallen again in Forks.

"Lily, I need you. Please, tell me what to do." I pleaded into the silence, curling my legs up to my chest. I had an errant thought that maybe I could make myself so small, that I would completely disappear. If only that were possible. I didn't want to be bound in this eternal form, forced to live my half-life alone and in fear – fear of what I was. The fear of the horror that I was capable of.

I spent the rest of the night curled up in the fetal position; waiting for tears that would never come. It strange the things you miss the most. I missed crying. It was like the tears were emotion, flowing away from you – washing away the pain and hurt. I yearned for that cathartic release, but it would never come. Permanent. Frozen. That's what I was. My pain would stay with me forever – unable to be washed away by tears.

As the hazy morning light filtered in the window, I rose. _What the hell was wrong with my clothes? _I wondered_,_ as I looked through the closet. I had all the necessary wardrobe staples: two pairs of jeans, boots, black pants, a few t-shirts, two long-sleeve shirts, and a water-logged leather jacket. So the jeans had a few stains and holes, big deal. I knew people who paid hundreds for the "distressed look".

I donned said pair of jeans and layered two tees. I'd skip wearing the jacket until it had a chance to air out a bit more. After my hair was concealed under my newly-preened wig, I was set to go. I still had over an hour till school began, but I didn't want to stay in this house any longer. I packed up my things, hiding them away on the top shelf of the master closet; leaving the house just as I found it.

With my backpack slung over my shoulder I decided to _walk_ to school. Sure, it'd take forever, but it would help to clear my mind – and lungs. I wanted to soak up all the fresh air I could before getting to school. I hope my classmates showered today. The smell is always worse when they don't shower. Well I guess that's always true. I meant the _blood_ is always more potent when they don't shower. Don't ask me why, that's just how it is.

I traveled along the road, staying concealed by the dense forest. _Maybe I'd have a little snack if I happened across some furry forest creature_, I thought. Just then, a blur of silver sped past me. The car had to be going _at least_ a hundred miles an hour! I sped through the trees to catch up. It had to be _them_. The engine sounded familiar. _No snack for me._

I caught up to the car just as it pulled into the school parking lot. Staying hidden in the forest, I watched as _five vampires_ exited the silver Volvo. Two of them I hadn't seen before. There was a large, heavily muscled dark-haired man with Vampire Barbie on his arm. I'm sure _she_ was the cause of several eating disorders among the student body.

I waited until they all made their way into school. I didn't think I could handle all of them at once; too intimidating. Besides, I had to go settle things with Mrs. Cope.


	6. Chapter 6

**I apologize for the delay in updating. Sick kiddo, first birthday party, and having my oldest out for summer has limited my writing and reading time.**

Chapter 6

Mrs. Cope was just applying her blush as I entered the school office. It was a bright ruby red, the same shade as her dye job. Her perpetual smile fell as her eyes locked on me.

"Ah yes, Miss Winters. I'm afraid that we do not tolerate skipping classes at this school. I hope you have a good explanation for your behavior." Damn, she could look quite menacing when she wanted to. Maybe she painted on 'angry' eyebrows today, just for me.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Cope. I guess with it being my first day, and not knowing anyone in the school; well, I just freaked out. My stomach doesn't do too well with anxiety." I frowned and paused for emphasis at all the right points, really hoping that my speech would work.

"Oh, Dear, I know how that is. Those butterflies in your stomach work themselves up into a tizzy sometimes. Don't they?" I nodded, thankful that she bought my lie. "If that happens again, Miss Winters, come visit the nurse's office until it passes. There is nothing to be embarrassed about." Putting on my best warm smile, I thanked her.

I paused at the double doors that led to the main hallway of the building, watching the students shuffle about. There were clusters of them, laughing and giggling meaninglessly. _God, I hated High School_, I thought with a groan. Taking a deep breath to center myself, I pushed past the doors and into the hall.

All eyes instantly zeroed in on me. I felt like I had a spotlight hanging over my head; demanding everyone's attention. All I wanted was to slink away into some dark corner.

I clung for dear life onto the strap of my backpack, slung over my shoulder. My feet propelled me down the hall as my mind tried to block out the whispers of everyone around me. It was no use though, the spotlight followed me. I swear I could feel the heat from it, almost expecting to find a bead of sweat as I ran the back of my hand across my forehead.

But that wasn't right, the heat wasn't from the spotlight, it was from the _blood_. The warm bodies, with their pulsing heartbeats surrounded me. The glorious scent filled my nose, making my head swim.

The sound of the bell was a godsend. Immediately the herds of humans scattered, each to their respectable classes. I slowed my pace as I neared my first class. A few people pushed past me on their way into the classroom. Contact always made it worse. I could usually manage as long as they didn't _touch_ me.

At least one of them was nice enough to apologize when he bumped into my shoulder.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't see you there. You must be new." He smiled a dimpled grin that took up most of his round face.

"Um, yeah. I'm Abby. I'm new."

"I'm Mike." To make matters worse, he extended his hand out to me for a handshake.

"Nice to meet you, Mike." I stared straight into his eyes, trying to pretend like I didn't see his outstretched hand before me. There was an awkward silence as we just stood there, staring at one another.

"Well, uh, we better get to class. Mr. George is a stickler for being on time." I nodded and began to make my way into class. Mike dashed into class before me, sitting down next to a kid with oily skin and jet black hair. They immediately started a whispered conversation. Of which I heard _everything_. Mike was practically begging Eric, the boy next to him, to switch seats. Eric seemed really intent on staying in his current chair, stating he didn't want to sit by the "little witch". Glancing back to the only empty seat in the room, I saw that it was right next to Alice Cullen. I couldn't help but smirk at Eric's little nickname for her. He apparently had good instincts enough to fear Alice. I couldn't say to same for poor Mike, though. He should keep his distance from me if he knew what was good for him.

I took one last deep breath before I stepped up to the teachers' desk. Mr. George peered up at me over his bifocal glasses that were perched on his nose.

"Ah, and who might you be?" He asked with as little amusement in his voice as possible.

"I'm A-Abigail Winters, Mr. George. I-I just transferred here from Pheonix." Just then the audible groan of a chair being dragged across the floor captured everyone's attention. Eric was making a big display over changing seats. He still didn't seem too happy about it. He roughly grabbed his books and stalked toward to back of the room. I watched as Alice's face fell when she saw her new neighbor. I, on the other hand, was thankful. I knew Alice would have talked my ear off the entire period; making it rather difficult for me to keep up the friendly façade. Not to mention, I'd only be two seats away from the vampire that could melt me with his damned voice. No, I needed to stay _far_ away from him.

I took my seat next to Mike, noticing that his desk was now several inches closer to me, protruding into the isle.

"Are you smart? I could totally use some tutoring…" Mike whispered to me when Mr. Banner was writing on the black board. He went on and on and on during the class, nearly breaking my concentration several times from eavesdropping on the Cullens. No human would be able to distinguish their conversation. In fact they spoke so softly and swiftly that I had trouble keeping up. Having motor mouth next to me surely didn't help matters either.

"_Do you really think she's the one, Alice? She's obviously terrified of me."_

"_Yes, I'm sure, Edward. You can't hear her…?"_

"_No."_

"… _must be her. And you said … smell …. Everything fits, even right down … dark hair, which she still has hidden under _that hideous wig_."_

"_Well she is bea…, and stubborn… but so naïve!"_

"_She'll learn, Edward. We'll teach her. She'll …, I'm sure of it."_

"_How can you be so sure, Alice? You said it yourself; your … clear when it comes to her. You couldn't even get her name right."_

"_Simple mistake. It … 'b'in it…."_I wasn't even making eye contact with Mike, but that didn't seem to faze him. He was talking about sports, the weather, some dance, and everything in between. I was trying to make it appear like I was paying attention to Mr. George, while my sole focus was four rows behind me. Still, with all the _distractions_, I was only able to catch bits and pieces of their conversation. And even with what I was able to hear, I still couldn't make sense of it. Did they know I was coming? That was impossible. And my name, did they know my _real_ name? That didn't sound good. I had to find out more.

"Abby? Hello? Anyone home in there?" Mike was waving his hands back and forth in front of my face. "Class is over, it's time to go. Didn't you hear the bell? I – uh – thought I could walk you to your next class. What do you have next period?"

"Um," I pulled up my mental picture of my schedule, "Algebra."

"That's in building two. I have History next, in building one." He frowned slightly. I turned around in my chair to retrieve my backpack. Both the Cullens were staring directly at me.I dropped my gaze to my backpack and hefted it over my shoulder. I had been so consumed in their conversation; I hadn't noticed the _smell_. Rich. Luscious. Warm. Blood. Mike's blood had a tangy scent. It smelled like the sun, reminding me instantly of my mother. No, Mike was safe. I couldn't harm anything that reminded me of Renee.

Mike placed his hand on the small of my back, guiding me out of the room. I shot away from the heat of his skin.

"Sorry, it's just that I don't want us to be late." It was evident that I had hurt his feelings by shying away from the contact. I didn't want to upset him. He seemed nice enough. My withdraw from him had caused a withdraw of its own in Mike. He was silent for the first time in over an hour. His silence made me more aware of two things; the nearly undetectable sounds of the two Cullens behind us.

_Please don't let us have the same class. Please don't let us have the same class, _I chanted over and over in my head. I needed just one hour of peace. One hour to digest and tear apart their conversation – to try and make some sense out of it.

I heard Alice turn off first, leaving only _Edward_. I said his name over and over again in my head. I liked the sound of it, which surprised me. A tiny thrill ran down my spine. _Edward_.

The near silent footsteps halted a moment before Mike stopped.

"Well, this is it. After History, I have Geometry, Biology, and then lunch of course. Next is Sociology, Study Hall, English, and then Gym." He looked up at the ceiling as he listed off the rest of his schedule.

"Looks like we have Gym together." I said with a small smile. It was easy to cheer him back up. Mike's face immediately lit up. "Great. See you then." He waved back at me as he went out the door.

I was still keenly aware that Edward Cullen was still standing behind me. _Shit, my luck, he's in this class too. No, my luck, he's in _all _my classes ._I couldn't look at him. The sight of him did something funny to me. He made me forget how to speak. Forget _everything_. _Screw it_. I stole one last glance behind me as I entered my Algebra class. His eyes were locked onto me, as if deep in concentration. His perfect brow was creased as if he were trying to solve an impossible equation.

_Well that was weird_, I thought as I walked up to the teacher's desk. Thankfully he didn't follow me. I looked back at him to find that he had vanished.

Mrs. Bertle was an animated woman. I think she was trying really hard to make Algebra seem interesting. Vampire or human, math still couldn't hold my interest. I was just happy that I had a little peace and quiet in this class. No Cullens whispering in the background, and no Mike jabbering incessantly in my ear. The blatant stares I could do without, though. Luckily they weren't too much of a distraction.

Did the Cullens know who I was? Was, as in the police chief's dead daughter. Would they tell him? _No, they can't tell him without exposing themselves, right?_ And how dare he call me naïve. I may be fairly new to this so called "life" but I had a great teacher. The _best_ teacher. And stubborn? You're damn right I'm stubborn. And he hasn't seen the half of it! And what does he mean I smell? Alice said that too, last night. I sniffed my hair. At first all I got was the glaring scent of synthetic fibers. I loosed a curl of my own dark hair to find it smelled like strawberries, my favorite shampoo. And what did they have to _teach_ me? How to be a _real_ vampire? A _monster_. Well I wouldn't let that happen.

English was next, and it was actually a subject that I enjoyed. As I human I had a love for reading. That was one of the things that still remained the same after I changed. Plus now, I had all night to read rather than sleep. Reading took me away from reality then, and it remains my escape from it now. While I'm reading, I inhabit the characters, living their struggles and triumphs as if they were my own. I'm human when I read.

Today Mrs. Kipnitch, my new English teacher, was dissecting passages from Dante's Inferno. That story always hit a little too close to home. In fact, I often find myself wondering which level I would end up on after I leave this life – _if_ I ever leave this life. But one thing I know for certain; I won't be welcome past the pearly gates. Evil is in my very nature as a vampire. I try my best to bury my baser instincts, but the truth remains that I am what I am. My nature is to kill; to drain the life from others. No creature like that could be welcomed into heaven. I was damned the moment my maker sank his teeth into my flesh. Books may help me escape that for a few hours, but my ultimate fate was sealed.

The sound of the bell ringing broke me from my thoughts. _Great, lunch_. The whole student body packed into one room. _Let's just make this as difficult as possible, why don't we_. Maybe I should just stay in the bathroom the whole hour. I needed to change my contacts anyways.

I made my way to the 'ladies room' when the smell of blood bombarded me. Fresh blood. As I rounded the corner, the vision of a small dark-haired girl with a four inch gash on her left forearm came into view. I was captivated by the pool of red-tinged water that swirled around in the bottom of the sink, causing venom to pool in my mouth. Involuntarily my body moved toward the blood, my hand outstretched in a vicious claw.

"It's worse than it looks." The girl warily offered. "Do you think I should go to the nurse?"

I gulped, forcing down the venom. I shut my eyes tight and held my breath. "Yes, go now." I forced out while I still had the willpower to do so.

She clutched a damp paper towel to her arm and hurried past me. The smell dissipated as the door swung shut behind her. I crumpled to the floor bringing my knees to my chest. All it took was a little gash. A few drops of blood to ruin everything. I could have easily drained her dry. I. Can't. Do. This. The realization stung like un-fallen tears.

"Abby?" The voice was full of concern. I looked up to find the near-black eyes of Alice Cullen. "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner. Are you alright?"

I felt my brow crinkle in confusion. What did she mean 'get here sooner'? She couldn't have known about the girl.

"How did you know?" I stared up at her, confused. There was the mental shift again. I saw it in her eyes.

"I had Gym with the girl last period. I saw her cut herself. She said she would just go wash it off. I never dreamed that you would run into her. Of all the luck." She smiled, offering me her hand.

"Yeah, of all the luck." I deadpanned as she helped me to my feet.

"Come have lunch with us. It's about time you meet everyone." I couldn't hide my apprehension.

"If it gets too much to handle. We'll go outside. It's no big deal, Bella."

I felt my body go rigid at the mention of my real name. How could she know that?

"What did you call me?"

"Oops, I'm sorry. It's just that you don't look like an Abby, or an Abigail for that matter. Maybe it's that horrible wig you insist on wearing. Really, your natural color is so much better. Anyways, let's go."

This girl changed subjects so quickly, she was giving me whiplash. Alice grasped my hand in a death-grip and hauled me towards the cafeteria.

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**Candy Striping will be next to update. I'm going to try to go back and forth between these two.**


	7. Chapter 7

An early update for you guys. I hope you enjoy it.

This chapter comes with a disclaimer, as does the whole story, but I'm borrowing a scene from Mrs. Meyer here. She owns it, not me. =)

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Alice dragged me through the hallways, talking the whole way.

"Emmett has been dying to meet you. And Rosalie, well, just don't take anything she says to heart. Jasper and Edward both feel bad about their run-ins with you earlier. Really, they never meant to scare you. Carlisle should have never sent a man to do a woman's job. Speaking of which, you should really come over and meet Esme, our mother." My feet rooted into the ground.

"Your mother?"

"Well she's not our real mother, but she does take care of us. She's the matriarch of our family."

"You mean your coven." I amended.

"No…our family. We are much closer than most covens. Carlisle and Edward have been together for the better part of a hundred years." What she was saying was still a foreign concept to me. Sure, Lily and I were close in the few months that we had together. She fulfilled so many roles in my life in that short time. Could it be the same with the Cullens? Could Carlisle and Esme really be like parents to them? _No, Bella, it's all a game. You'll see soon enough._

The sounds of trays clattering, chairs scooting, and a clamor of voices brought me back to the present. The cafeteria was full of humans. The table where the Cullens sat was off to the left of the cafeteria. _They didn't belong here. They were out of place._ It looked like I wasn't the only one who thought so too. All the humans seemed to keep their distance from them. I was thrown off guard when Alice pulled me the other direction, away from their table.

"What are you doing?" I asked, confused.

"Keeping up appearances." She murmured so low only I could hear her. We were heading toward to lunch line. I could feel my face crinkle in disgust.

"Don't worry; you're not going to actually have to eat it. You'll see."

"I don't have any money with me."

"I'll get it." She said, and handed me a tray. I took my place in line and tried not to grimace when the lunch lady plopped a steaming pile of indiscernible food on my tray. During my time as a waitress, I had gotten used to the smells of human foods. But there were some glaring differences. First, the food at the diner was identifiable. Secondly, it didn't make me want to dry heave every time I got a whiff of it.

Alice paid for my "food", and made her way to the Cullen table. Apprehension sank in. She glanced back at me and nodded her head in the direction of the table. The large guy brought up another chair for me. To my chagrin, the empty seat was placed right by Edward. _I'd rather sit by Blondie._

_Be nice, Bella, and for God's sakes, smile._ I planted a wary grin on my face as I took my seat.

"Everyone this is Abby." Alice declared with a strange emphasis on my name.

"But I thought…" The broad-shouldered guy began before receiving a death glare from Alice. I wondered what that was all about

"Hi Abby. It's going to be a lot more fun with you around." He smiled a dimpled smile and elbowed Blondie next to him.

"Yeah…fun." She exclaimed without any inflection.

"You must be Emmett and Rosalie." It was hard to maintain my smile with Blondie's evil stare trained on me. Still, I'd rather spend the lunch hour getting chummy with her than have to face the person to my right.

"I'm Jasper. I'm truly sorry if I scared you off in the woods." The blonde male drawled with a slight southern accent. Jasper threw an arm around Alice's small shoulders, pulling her close to his side.

I felt a small brush against my arm. I was surprised by the warmth of his skin on mine.

"And I'm sorry about our chase through the woods. The wolves. And breaking and entering." Edward spoke up, a striking smirk spreading over his impossible face.

Without thinking my body angled toward him in the chair. "Yeah, about the wolves…"

"There is a tribe of Indians on First Beach, the Quileute's. For some reason that we don't really know, they can change into wolves at will." Edward explained. I was enthralled by the sound of his voice – so smooth like honey. "We have an uneasy truce with them. We promised not to take a human life, and have agreed to stay off their land. In turn, they have promised not to kill us."

"So that's why they wouldn't cross the river." It all made sense now.

"And that's why I wanted _you_ on our side." He smiled.

Rosalie let out an exasperated sigh.

"They're all staring again." She huffed in distaste.

"They are wondering why Abby here has the privilege to sit with us." Edward answered automatically.

"So I guess I should consider myself honored or something?" I scoffed. _Shit, play nice_. My sarcasm had gotten the better of me. _No more slip-ups, Bella_.

"They're just curious, and jealous. In fact Mike Newton is seething. You must have made quite an impact on him already." Edward smiled at the thought.

"What makes you think that?" Edward seemed so keenly aware of Mike's emotions.

"It's written all over his face." I turned around in my chair to see Mike glaring angrily at Edward. I could almost see the invisible daggers he was sending his way. My own embarrassment sank in. Had I led poor Mike Newton on?

"Shit." I cursed under my breath. I didn't want to hurt anyone, to bring anyone else into this. I was here for one purpose and one purpose alone; to make sure the Cullens don't pose a threat to the people of Forks. Namely, my father. I didn't intend to hurt anyone in the process.

I ducked my head, trying to make myself disappear. I was aware that there was a hushed conversation happening at the table around me, but I could care less. I had led on a human – caused him to _like me._ That was beyond dangerous.

All of the sudden a strong arm snaked around my waist and a cool breath tickled my ear.

"Just go along with it." Edward whispered in my ear, sending shivers through my body. What the hell was he talking about? "It will be easier for Mike this way – easier for all of them, if they think you're _mine_." I couldn't deny the pleasure it gave me hearing the ownership in his words. I looked up to Alice who was nuzzled next to Jasper. And Rosalie was giggling as she playfully pushed Emmett away.

"Why are you doing this?" I turned my head toward Edward, nearly brushing my lips along his cheek.

"To keep them away – the humans. Naturally they are drawn in by our voice, our appearance, and even our smell. Most of them keep their distance when they see we are…taken. Some are still more insistent. Let's hope that Mike doesn't fall into that category." The way he looked at me, the depth in his honey eyes. It was as if he were professing his love to me. Not explaining their clever deception. _They want to keep the humans away? _My mind struggled with the logic. Why keep your dinner away. Wouldn't they _want_ to draw them in? Maybe they are what they say. Otherwise, why go through the trouble, the façade, of maintaining a false relationship in public?

"So Rosalie and Emmett, and Jasper and Alice, it's all for show? They're not really…together?"

"Oh, it's no show for them. Trust me, it's ten times worse than this at home. It's sickening really."

"Hey, I heard that!" Alice hissed.

"Alright, Newton's stopped his gawking." Edward pulled away from me abruptly and straightened in his chair. My head was still reeling.

I looked up to find Rosalie feeding Emmett a fresh strawberry. My jaw dropped.

"You can't…but how?" I couldn't form a coherent sentence.

"I'm not gonna eat it." Emmett replied with his mouth full.

"No, he pulverizes it." Rosalie laughed.

"Just bring the fork to your mouth and pretend to chew. We sit far enough away from people so that they won't notice that we aren't actually eating." Alice explained.

I hefted a fork full of the casserole and brought it up to my mouth and winced at the smell. After returning the fork to my plate, I chewed needlessly.

"They really fall for this? It didn't look too convincing to me."

"Dainty bites, Abby." Alice corrected me. I watched everyone at the table around me as they "ate" their meals. Really all they were doing was pushing their food around on their plates.

"So Abby, how were you able to enroll in school without any parents?" Rosalie asked, waiting impatiently for my answer.

"Emancipation." She looked disappointed in my answer.

"Emergency contacts?" She continued. I hoped this wasn't going to turn into twenty questions.

"I gave wrong numbers. As long as I don't skip class, I shouldn't have any problems." I couldn't risk more phone calls to Charlie. No, I'd have to be on my best behavior.

"Then what's your plan for sunny days?"

I hadn't really thought about that. "I'll just wear a hoodie."

"It's healthy to skip class once and awhile. It gives the appearance of being human." Edward joked. "In fact, I'm skipping classes for the remainder of the day." He declared as he lounged back in his chair, folding both arms behind his head.

"I'm not skipping classes." I grumbled to myself.

"Suit yourself." Edward replied, his eyes closed with a wry grin on his face.

"And three, two, one." Alice held up one finger just as the bell signaling the end of the lunch period sounded. Creepy little pixie.

I grabbed my backpack and hurried off to class, leaving the table before the rest of the Cullens. I had Biology next, in building two. The more the distance between us grew, the more my mind reeled from what had transpired. I shouldn't enjoy the way his arm felt around my waist – like it belonged there. I shouldn't get a thrill from his breath tickling against my skin. _Don't lose yourself, Bella. It's all part of the deception. They want you to believe the lie. _Right, it was all a lie, to keep up appearances. They obviously couldn't go on a killing spree at the school. I'd have to get closer.

I rounded the corner and stood in the entrance to my Biology class. Something was wrong. The smell of blood was more potent in this room for some reason; almost drowned out by the heavy smell of bleach. Still, blood had been shed in this room, and recently. Why would a High School Biology class smell of human blood? The thought was alarming. What had happened in this room? I tentatively sniffed the air again, picking up the faint smell of a vampire; a Cullen. It was too faint to distinguish which one. I stilled my immediate desire to flee. What if this was the evidence I had been looking for? _I can do this, _I resolved.

I approached the teacher's desk.

"Hello, I'm Abigail Winters." He turned to me and smiled as I handed him my paperwork, signing my attendance sheet.

"Welcome, Abby, I'm Mr. Banner. Just take a seat next to Emma there in the second row. I'm going to start passing out supplies."

Well he seemed nice enough. I settled in next to Emma, a pale skinned girl with cropped blonde hair and an athletic build. She had the scent of patchouli, which many people apparently find appealing. Fortunately for Emma, I think it smells like dirt.

Mr. Banner began passing out small plastic trays around the class. Each tray had three small oval indents. I looked more closely to find that the indents had labels: A, B, and Rh. I felt like I was missing something very important as I stared at the trays.

The bell rang, and a few last students filtered in to take their seats. No Cullens.

Mr. Banner made his way back to the front of the class.

"Good afternoon. Today we are going to do blood typing…" Mr. Banner continued, but my brain was caught on one word: blood. Staring into space, I rose from my chair, and began to walk to the front of the class.

"Is there a problem, Miss Winters?" Mr. Banner asked.

"I feel…sick." And it was the truth. Venom was rising in my throat like stomach bile.

"Why don't you sit back down and take a few deep breaths. It's just a little pin prick, I promise it doesn't hurt that bad. In fact, would you like to go first? Get it over with now?" I'm sure my face had a look of terror on it. I wasn't even able to speak, only shake my head back and forth over and over as I continued to back out the door.

I was vaguely aware of the snickering noises from a few of the students.

"I think she's gonna lose it." One boy laughed.

"She looks really pale." Another girl commented.

I had to find a way out of this, and quick. I couldn't handle fresh blood. It was only by luck that I didn't drain that poor girl in the bathroom earlier.

"Miss Winters?" Mr. Banner looked a little worried now. "Maybe you should go lie down in the nurse's office."

"Yes, please." I squeaked. I turned abruptly and went out the door, reveling in the smell of fresh air. Relatively fresh at least. There was a sweet smell that lingered in the air.

"I told you it was healthy to ditch class." Edward was leaning up against the lockers in a relaxed pose. His legs were crossed and his head rested on his strong arms. He had that same devastating half-smile planted on his face. I wanted to knock it right off.

"Why didn't you tell me!" I was beyond mad. Did he realize the implications of leaving me in the room with fresh blood?

"I was waiting out here the whole time. I would have come to your rescue had you needed it." He pushed away from the lockers to stand before me. At his full height he towered almost a full foot over my head.

Gently, he brushed a blonde lock behind my ear. "Your venom has burned through your contacts." It took a moment for his words to sink in. I was too distracted by the nearness of him.

"Oh." I broke my gaze from his topaz eyes and began rifling through my bag until I located my contacts.

"How old are you?" He asked me, one brow raised in question.

"Sixteen." He shook his head at my response.

"I meant how long have you been a vampire?"

"Four months, give or take a week." I couldn't help but think about Lily as I remembered how long it had been since my change. Without her…well I don't like to think of what I would have become.

"You are doing remarkably well for a newborn." He smiled down at me. "Come on, let's go."

And I found I wanted to go with him – just to be with him. Without thinking, I followed him down the hallway and out of the building into the constant mist that lingered over Forks.

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I loved the blood typing scene in Twilight, it was a shame it didn't make it into the film, so I had to include it somehow in this story.


	8. Chapter 8

**Important Author's Note at the end of this chapter!**

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Chapter 8

_Previously: Without thinking, I followed him down the hallway and out of the building into the constant mist that lingered over Forks._

"Where are we going?" I asked once in the cover of the trees that bordered Forks High. He had kept a human's pace till now, but that changed under the concealment of the forest. And he was _fast_, moving with the grace of a jaguar through the intricate maze of the forest's trees. He made it difficult to keep up with him.

"To a place I like to go."

"Well that's specific." I wasn't sure whether he was laughing at the tone or the breathlessness of my voice. I thought vampires never got short of breath, but there I was, huffing and puffing like a pack-a-day smoker.

"I thought you were a newborn." He called back to me, widening the distance between us with ease.

"I am." I replied, not understanding his statement. Hadn't we just discussed this earlier?

"Then why are you so slow?" He laughed. _Oh no he didn't_, I thought. And for once it felt good to just run at top speed – to let go. For once it seemed that I wasn't running _from_ something – running from fear or from my past. I'd never allowed this; never given myself the permission to test the limits. I'd always had to match someone's slower pace.

"There's a meadow not far from here. I go there to clear my mind sometimes."

_What the hell do you think you're doing? _I have absolutely no idea. _Did I teach you anything, Bella? You can't trust them._ You're not here anymore, Lily. And I have to find out more. Maybe he'll open up to me. _Or maybe he'll rip you to shreds. _Maybe you're wrong about them. Maybe they aren't monsters; at least as much as I'm not a monster. _Stay alive for me, Bella. Please_. The sound of Lily's pleading voice in my head made me stop my progress. Lily was right, this _was_ dangerous.

Edward realized my absence and doubled back to my side. Did his hair always have to look like that? I was quite certain my wig was now the residence of a bird's nest.

"It seems like you have a lot on your mind. I thought you would need a break from things – from pretending to be human." He seemed genuinely concerned for me. _Seemed, _Lily repeated in my head.

"I can't, Edward, I have to get back. I need a nurse's excuse." The struggle in my voice broke through to the surface. I _wanted_ to go with him, I realized.

"I promise to have you back before next period, and I'll have Alice deliver your nurse's excuse to Mr. Banner. She has him next period. Trust me." He extended his hand to me, his eyes a smoldering liquid topaz. I placed my hand in his, hearing the scream of protest from Lily in mind. I pushed it away, instead reveling in the warmth of his skin on mine.

"I thought we were supposed to be cold-skinned." I muttered, my eyes still locked on out intertwined fingers.

He laughed again. "Our skin is only cold to humans, but not to each other. Tell me, Abby, have you ever been around another vampire? You mentioned before that you had a different 'upbringing'."

"I—." Could I really tell him about Lily? Would his knowledge of her somehow tarnish her memory? "No, I've never really _met_ another vampire. The one who turned me left before I awoke."

"Interesting." He continued to stare at me in contemplation, and then shook his head. "Are you coming? The clearing is just ahead."

"Sure, why not." And we were running again. I found that I could keep pace with him now, even edging ahead of him for an instant or two. I took in deep breaths of the crisp mountain air – void of human scents.

"This is it." Edward slowed abruptly as the sun broke free from the canopy of trees. Strange. Cloud cover blanketed the rest of Forks except for this one clearing. It was breathtaking. The grass was a lush green, marked with the violet and deep blue of small blooming flowers.

I stopped at the edge of the meadow as Edward continued into the sunlight. The vision of him was dazzling as the sunlight bounced off of his skin. Prisms of light danced around him, casting millions of tiny rainbows across the forest floor. He held his palms upturned toward the sun and tilted his head back to bathe in the light. He was more beautiful than words could describe – beautiful and terrifying.

My feet remained rooted to the ground in fear. I had never been in direct sunlight – _ever_. Exposing myself like that would be akin to eating a forbidden fruit. I was _never _to reveal myself, and letting the sunlight touch my skin was a sure way to do just that.

"Don't be afraid, there's no one around to see you."

"I—I can't." I stuttered.

"That seems to be a common word in your vocabulary; _can't_." He repeated with distaste.

"I've never been out in the sun." He looked at me then, eyeing me curiously.

"Well as you can see, you won't burst into flames." _Don't do it, he'll expose you!_ And he did it again. He held his hand out towards me. There was something in that gesture that I was helpless to resist. My booted foot edged into the sunlight.

The warmth, it was like Edward's hand in mine. I shifted my weight forward and slowly reached my hand out from beneath the shade – from safety. Beams of light fractured off my fingertips. I giggled in response. This was _amazing! _The next moment, I was completely enveloped in the sun's warm rays. It felt as if they could penetrate my stony flesh all the way to the core of my being.

Forgetting about my audience, I twirled and danced throughout the clearing. I ran at top speed around the meadow's edge, laughing and tittering like a child…until a voice made me remember I wasn't alone.

"As much as I'd love to stay. I thought you'd like to get back before next period. It's three minutes before the next bell." His words seemed to come from somewhere far away.I was lost in my reverie.

"Three minutes." I repeated, still dazed. "_Three minutes_!" I took off in the direction of the school. How in the _hell_ was I supposed to get back in time. "I still need a nurse's excuse!"

"I'll take care of the nurse's excuse, like I said. You just get to your next class. I promise you, everything will be taken care of." Edward was right on my heels, his speech unaffected by the run.

In only a matter of moments, we managed to make it to where the forest's edge met the school grounds. I slowed my pace to a brisk walk as I made my way to my next class; History.

Emma, my proposed lab partner from Biology looked up when she saw me enter the room. Immediately my eyes zeroed in on the Band-Aid on her left index finger_. I sure hope that's on tight_, I thought as I made my way to an empty desk in the back of the room. Apparently I'd underestimated myself. I made it to class not only before the majority of the students, but the teacher as well.

"Are you alright?" Emma was turned around in her seat, whispering to me.

"Yeah. Thanks." I whispered back to her, wondering why we were whispering. She smiled and turned back around in her seat as several more students came into the room. Glancing at the clock, it was thirty-two seconds until the bell rang.

No Cullens. No _Edward_, I lamented. _Really, Bella? All it takes is a little jaunt to a meadow, and now you're falling all over him?_ I am not falling all over him. _Are too_.

The bell rang, drawing me out of my internal debate as a steady stream of students rushed in to take their seats. The teacher made his way in moments later. Great, now I'll have to wade through the sea of blood to make it to the front of the classroom.

Holding my breath, I went to the teacher's desk. He was rifling through a mess of papers and books, looking for who knows what. I had to clear my throat to get his attention.

"Can I help you? Whoa! You must be new here!" He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to face the class. Why did he have to _touch_ me? "Please, introduce yourself to the class." _Wonderful_, I thought, a wary smile fixed on my face.

Just then, Jasper Cullen walked through the doorway, tipping his imaginary hat to the teacher in apology before taking his seat…_right_ next to mine. Mr. History squeezed my shoulders slightly in either a show of reassurance or a 'hurry the hell up' gesture.

"Um, hi, I'm Abby. I'm new here. I just moved from Phoenix." I jabbered, staring at the tops of the students heads.

"Actually, Abby's staying with us, Mr. Sutter. My parents have offered to take her in." Jasper interceded. _What the hell? _I shared Lily's sentiments exactly.

"It's nice to meet you, Abby." Mr. Sutter said glancing between Jasper and I. "Today we're going to continue our segment on the Civil War. Abby, I'm sure Jasper will be more than happy to let you know where we are in our textbooks."

I began the trek back to my seat with a scowl aimed solely at Jasper Cullen.

"Easy now, Abby. Just let me explain." He said in a low voice. I don't know what it was, but suddenly my anger dissipated into a cloud of smoke. It left me feeling oddly out of sorts.

"Please do."

"After our conversation at lunch, I called our father. There are going to be instances where you will have to miss classes. Last period is a prime example. If everyone thinks you're staying with us, they won't think twice when you're absent. Carlisle has agreed to cover for you. In fact he called the school nurse to get your excuse for Biology class. All your contact information has been changed and you are listed as a foster child." He explained while flipping through the pages of my text book. "There are other benefits too." He continued. "As you've seen, humans keep their distance from us. If they think you're one of us, they'll keep away from you too." _They're trying to help me, _I thought_. No, they're keeping tabs on you. They are playing the same game as you are, they're just better at it._

"And why was this done without my knowledge?" A crease appears between Jasper's eyebrows. He's confused.

"Edward was supposed to tell you, but I guess that happened."

"No, it didn't." I replied with an eerie calm. Why wasn't I giving him hell about this? I was sure trying."So know I'm supposed to play the happy couple with Edward? Is that how this is supposed to work?"

"Is that a problem?" He asked with a strange twitch of his lips.

"Well…yes, it is. I can't pretend to be with someone that I—I _hate_." And that's when he laughed in my face. I had enough of this conversation, I decided. I turned around in my chair and buried my face in my text book for the rest of the period, contemplating the implications of what the Cullens had done, and the meaning behind it.

Did they expect me to live with them now? To pretend like we were all one happy family. Was I expected to replace the memory of my mother, and to deny my father in order to accept _imposters_ that were completely void of true emotion?

No, I wouldn't do it.

_They are playing the same game as you are, they're just better at it._ Lily's voice repeated in my head. I'd have to be better at their game. In order to peel away the façade they so carefully guarded, I'd have to engrain myself in their world – to gain their trust. The few classes we shared within these walls were not enough. I had to dig deeper. I'd have to move in with the enemy.

A thrill of excitement went up my spine. Jasper visibly jerked in his chair. Maybe I _am_ cut out for this. I felt a slow smile spread across my face. The bell signaling the end of the period sounded. Students hurriedly shuffled out of the room.

"Wait, Jasper." The blonde vampire spun on his foot to face me. "Thank you. I know you are only trying to help me. As much as I don't like to admit it, maybe I need the help." When I received his answering smile, I knew I could do this.

Speech class gave me some Cullen-free time to solidify my plans. _I needed Alice._

As if my prayers were answered, we shared Study Hall together. She bounced over to me, wrapping herself around my arm.

"So you're not mad at us?" She looked up at me with puppy dog eyes. I couldn't help but laugh at her expression.

"I was at first, but when I thought about it, I realized you were only trying to help me."

"Yea!" She jumped up and down, nearly vibrating with energy.

"You can let go of me now, Alice."

"Oh, sorry. I get a little carried away sometimes."

"A little?"

"You sound just like Edward." Her mouth formed a pert little smile.

"Well it sounds like Edward and I finally agree on something." Her face went slack for a moment, like someone rebooted her internal computer. It was odd. I was beginning to see that odd was the norm for this eccentric little vampire.

Her face then lit up like a light bulb. "Baseball tonight!"

She didn't strike me as a baseball fan. I shrugged, _whatever_. Alice rattled on and on for the rest of the period, in what I was beginning to see was typical Alice fashion. And speaking of fashion, she confessed that she had already done some shopping for me. _Great_. I seriously doubted flannel was in her vocabulary. And denim must only be prefixed with 'designer'.

Alice also informed me that I would be staying in a small cottage that was still under renovation behind the Cullen fortress. She then added that Rose and Emmett would be more than happy to switch living arrangements if I'd be more comfortable in the main house. She told me that their room was next to Edward's, as if that would make a difference in my decision.

I realized that not only was Alice the fashion consultant for the family, she was also apparently the self-appointed matchmaker. Maybe if I played along with her little social experiment, I could gain Edward's trust. And by gaining his trust, he just might expose his true nature to me.

_You keep telling yourself that, Bella._

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**A/N: Yup, the voice in Bella's head that refers to her in third person is Lily's. It's much like how Bella hears Edward's voice in New Moon. I just felt the need to clarify that Lily wasn't some half-vampire, half-human ghost that still haunts Bella.**

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**And going back to New Moon, I have a major plot twist that has been nagging me for several chapters now. At the risk of enticing the anger many felt when Edward left Bella in New Moon, I thought I'd consult my readers for input.**

**First question: Would you stop reading if this turns out not to be a canon story.**

**If you answered yes to the first question, please skip question number two.**

**Second question: If this ends up not being a canon fic, who would you like to see Bella with?**

**The only pairings that I won't do involve breaking the already paired veg vampires. I'm also open to fem slash, though admittedly, I've never written it before.**

**Feel free to PM me, or just leave your suggestions as a review. I would have done a poll, but that limits your suggestions for possible pairings. Your opinions as readers matter to me greatly. I've made an effort to try to respond to all reviews, though I may have missed a few while FF was undergoing their changes to the reply system.**

**Hope to hear from you!**

**~Autumn**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks you to everyone who reviewed with their suggestions. To jackiesparrow, there wasn't able to respond through PM, so I'm doing it now. Thank you first off, for your input. I love you're suggestion to "mess with the relationship" and I think I may stick to my original idea, just with a different outcome. As for Alice's visions, you may come to find out that they aren't quite clear when it comes to Bella.**

Also, I'm still taking comments and suggestions. I figured I'd give it a chapter or two before the votes are tallied.

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Chapter 9

Gym class. Vampire or not, I still hated it. I watched the teenage girls pranced around in their short shorts, vying for the boys' attention. Like shorts are practical in Forks weather. Instead, I elected for the sweats. No, one needs to see that much of my pale pasty skin.

As soon as I made my way into the Gym, I saw Mike looking around him, his eyes canvasing the whole gym. When he saw me, he immediately started heading my direction, waving at me with a huge smile stretched across his face. This was _not_ going to be a fun hour.

"Hey, Abby. I—uh, was hoping to see you at lunch, but it looked like you were—busy." He wrung his hands nervously.

"Oh, sorry, Mike. Alice practically drug me to her table."

His eyes darted around the gym. "So, are you and Edward, like _together_?" Mike's face scrunched up at the last word, like the thought of it was revolting. I should have known this was coming. Still, I hated lying, even though my whole life was now pretty much a lie.

"Yeah, Edward and I are… talking. Actually, I'm moving in with the Cullens. They've been nice enough to take me in since I don't have any close family here." Mike's face fell for a moment before he replaced his frown with a half-assed smile.

"Oh,well that's… nice. I guess I'll see you around." Mike turned around and rejoined his friends. Admittedly, I felt bad for upsetting him, but a larger part of me was shocked. The Cullens were right. It worked! I couldn't help the grin that came to my face and the internal happy dance that played out in my head.

Besides the sneers and whispered conversations, I actually enjoyed the rest of the school day. My declaration of love had earned me a glorious amount of personal space. The boys left me alone, now that I was apparently taken. And the girls all gave me the stink-eye from a safe distance away. We played volleyball, and I found I was actually quite good at it. At first it took some time to regulate the pressure, I lobbed a few balls out of bounds, earning my some incredulous looks from the guys. It was actually nice to find something I was good at for once. As a human I had been uncharacteristically clumsy. Anything that could go wrong usually did around me. Thankfully, Charlie had a great insurance policy as the police chief. The hospital emergency staff knew me by name.

But now, I was graceful, strong, and almost elegant. I was beginning to see that there _was_ more than just the negatives of being a vampire. There were a few perks.

Alice was waiting impatiently for me right outside of Gym class.

"Are you ready to go home?" The mention of "home" caused a mental brain fart. There was so much emotion tied to that word. After Lily was taken away from me, I thought I'd never again have the feeling of home – of belonging. But now I found myself hesitantly optimistic.

_Be on your guard, Bella,_ was Lily's warning as I slid into the back seat of a shiny Volvo_. _Alice looped her arm around my shoulder next to me and squealed with excitement.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Jasper and Edward both chuckled under their breath from the front seat.

"Should I be afraid?" I squeaked.

"Yes, be very afraid." Jasper replied with a glance towards Alice. She stuck her tongue out at him in reply. It still struck me as odd, seeing their light-hearted exchange. It was so casual – too casual to all be a show.

"Esme has been renovating the little cottage on our property for years. Unfortunately she always gets distracted with other projects. But now that you'll be staying there, I know she'll have it finished in no time. There's not any running water right now, so you'll have to come to the main house for showers. But the cottage will give you some privacy, if you want it." She winked at me, and I had a sinking feeling I knew what she meant. She and I would need to have a conversation soon. Alone.

When we pulled onto the gravel drive leading to the Cullen's house, my anxiety peaked.

"Um, is _everyone_ home?" I squeaked, all of the sudden, the thought of being alone in a house with several vampires was terrifying. _You're only just realizing this? _Hey, pipe down, I do believe this was _your_ idea.

"Everyone is here except for Carlisle. He's due home from the hospital at eight." Alice announced.

Maybe that was for the best, the Doctor was the highest Cullen on my shit-list – he made Dr. Kevorkian look like a saint.

The Volvo slowed to a stop. I had been here before, of course, but I had never imagined myself actually going _inside_. The large white house suddenly seemed ominous. I felt my senses heighten and my nerve-endings tingled with anxiety.

Lost in my own wanderings, I hadn't realized I was the only one still sitting in the car.

"She's awfully timid for a newborn. It's like her senses are dulled. She doesn't even hear us and we're two feet away." My eyes snapped to Jasper, whipping my head around at in-human speed.

"We thought we'd lost you there for a moment. You pulled an Alice." Jasper laughed at his own joke, but then stopped suddenly.

"Just lost in thought, sorry." I replied, getting out of the backseat. Edward eyed me curiously. Come to think of it, he did that _a lot_. I'd had to find out what that was about, because it was really unnerving.

We were walking toward the front door when it suddenly burst open to reveal the brawny Emmett with a huge grin on his face.

"Welcome home my newest little sister!" I half expected streamers and confetti to be thrown in my face. For as big and scary as this guy looked, I had a feeling he was just a big teddy bear on the inside. Still, I'd make sure I stayed on his good side.

Planting my best fake smile on my face, I walked up to the big galoof that stood in the doorway, his huge form encompassing the entire opening. He stretched his arms out wide, and my eyes bugged open. _Oh no! _Sure enough, he scooped me up in a bear hug, flinging me from side to side like a rag doll, my limbs flying this way and that. It was a good thing I didn't need to breathe anymore, because I wouldn't have been able to with the vice grip he had me in.

"Okay, Emmett." I said tapping his shoulder. "Can you put me down now?"

"Sure, sis." He said with a wag of his eyebrows. _Sister? Home? Hugs?_ All these things were foreign concepts to me. Even my enlarged vampire brain had trouble processing them.

"Welcome to chateau a' la' Cullen." Emmett stood aside as he made a sweeping motion with his arm, revealing an ultra-modern monochromatic living room. I could see an auburn-haired woman standing inside. She had one of the warmest smiles I'd ever seen. This must be Esme, the Cullen's matriarch.

Brushing past Emmett I was first to enter the large home. Esme approached me slowly.

"You must be Abby. Everyone's told me so much about you. I'm so glad to finally meet you." She came to stand right before me. Like the rest of her coven, she had warm honey colored eyes. And her voice, well it was warm like honey too. I guess you could just say Esme equaled warmth in my book. And for a dead person, that's quite an accomplishment.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay here. I hope it's not too much trouble." Before I even finished my sentence, Esme was shaking her head.

"No, it's our pleasure, Abby. When I heard that you were all alone. Well…I simply wouldn't stand for it. Please know that we are here to help you with whatever you need." Esme placed her hands lightly on my shoulders. I know she intended the gesture to be comforting, and it was. There was something about her touch – it carried with it a sense of belonging and safety. "Shall I show you the cottage? I'm afraid it's not quite finished, but you are more than welcome to stay in the house if you'd like."

"Yes, I would like to see the cottage. And please, don't go out of your way on my account."

She waved her hand. "Nonsense. If you only knew the joy I get out of renovating and redecorating, well I should be the one thanking you." She smiled. "Alice, will you join us? After all, you had a hand in this too."

Alice skipped to Esme's side, and they flashed to the back wall of windows, sliding a panel open to create a doorway to the forest outside.

"Race?" Alice's eyes had a twinkle in them. You bet your ass, Twinkletoes. Without answering, I flew out the door, right past a stunned Esme and Alice. It didn't take long to pick up the scent of fresh sawdust and plaster. I followed it like a beacon through the dense forest outside the Cullen's home. The sound of running water, reached my ears. There was a fresh stream up ahead. Sure enough, the stream came into sight. I cleared it in one small leap, taking a moment to look behind me. Alice was only twenty yards away and Esme was ten yards behind her.

The cottage came in sight. I could tell it was an old structure, the outside made from cobbled stones and mortar. But the roof was newly replaced with wide red-tinged shingles. I slowed when I reached the house and waiting for Esme and Alice to catch up. I expected Snow White and the seven dwarves to walk through the small wooden door at any moment. To my dismay, that didn't happen. Esme produced a key and the door opened with a groan. We had to duck our heads to make it through the doorway. Well, except for Alice.

The flooring was a rustic wood, newly varnished. The only light in the main room was a wrought iron chandelier affixed to the wooden beams of the ceiling. To our left sat a plush queen bed with an intricately twined headboard, also of wrought iron. A small love seat and single chair sat around the hearth of the house; a stone fire place. Beyond the fire place was a swinging door, which appeared to once depict a fresco. But now the paint had chipped and faded to dark blues and greys and browns.

"I plan on trying to restore the painting. I believe it was once a mural of the stream that flows through the woods here." Esme made her way to the door. "Here are what I think may have been two deer, drinking from the stream."

I drew closer to the door for a better look. Sure enough, the faded blue looked to be water and the grey surrounding it was tinged with the green of the forest.

"I estimate this house to be as old as I am." Esme stated, looking around at the structure.

"H—How old are you?"

"One hundred and ten, if you count my twenty-six human years." I gasped, but she only smiled. "The funny thing is that one of my adopted children is older than me. Jasper was changed during the Civil War."

"Are you serious?" My jaw hung open.

She nodded. "In fact Carlisle is over three and a half centuries old. He's had centuries to perfect his self-control. That's how he's able to be a doctor." I swallowed back the bile in my throat. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. Maybe dear old Daddy, emphasis on _old_, merely had years to perfect the deception. So much so that perhaps his family was also kept in the dark.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you hungry, dear? Do you need to hunt? We'd be happy to join you if you'd like the company." I hadn't realized that my hand was grasping my throat until Esme mentioned my thirst.

"Oh, no thank you. I'm alright." I returned my hand to my side.

"Are you sure? There's no shame in needing to hunt. Don't make yourself uncomfortable on our account."

"Abby, she's right. If you'd like, I can join you." Alice and Esme seemed to be having a silent conversation with their eyes. There was definitely something going on there.

"No, I'm okay. Besides Alice, I thought you'd be dying to show me the closet." Alice's eyes popped wide open and she tinkled a trilling laugh.

"Right this way…" She opened the swinging door to reveal the largest closet I had ever seen. Half of the ten by eight room was lined with garment bags. As Alice ran her fingers gingerly along the bags, I heard the sound of her deep breaths. My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"Ah, here it is. My favorite find! Right off the runway of a hot up-and-coming designer in Paris." She explained while unzipping the bag to reveal a blue dress. "Ice blue silk with a sweetheart neckline, strapless, with an asymmetrical hem."

" It's nice, thanks."

"Nice? _Nice!_ It's fabulous!" Her voice climbed in volume. "Oh, it will look amazing on you. Do you want to try it on now? Oh please, oh please, oh please, say yes!"

"I—uh…"

"Alice, I'm sure you and Abby can look through the clothes some other time, but I'm sure the others are waiting. We can't keep her all to ourselves." At first I thought Esme was attempting to save me from becoming Alice's personal mannequin. But then she fed me to the dogs; mainly a blonde-headed one that seemed incapable of warmth. Alice frowned, but conceded Emse's point, heading back toward the main house, I would guess.

"Don't be afraid to speak up, hun. Alice can get a little carried away sometimes. And please, let us know if we're making you uncomfortable." She said as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me back through the dwarf door.

_Boy, she's laying on the mother hen act pretty thick. I hope you're not falling for this._ Of course I'm not falling for it; she's just trying to be nice. _That's what I thought._

"So, do you like it?"

"Oh, the cottage? It's great." Esme smiled and squeezed my shoulders gently as we walked back toward the Cullen's home.

"I see why they think of you as their mother." Shit, was that out loud?_ Yes, yes it was._

"Thank you. You know, I once had a child of my own. An adorable baby boy. Sadly he died. It was his death that sent me over the edge, quite literally. I jumped off of a cliff, you see." She paused to glance at me before continuing, apparently not reading the shock on my face. "Everyone thought I was already dead when they brought me to the hospital. In fact they wheeled me straight into the morgue. Carlisle still heard my faint heartbeat though, and he saved me."

"You mean he turned you?" I amended.

"Well yes. He saved my life, and gave me a new one with a family of my own. Edward had already joined Carlisle before I was turned. Rosalie was the next, followed by Emmett. And Jasper and Alice found us all on their own. And now there's you." She stroked my cheek lovingly; I was petrified. "This is my second chance at being a mother." So she was delusional. They all were apparently. Living like the un-dead Brady Bunch.

Her arm around my shoulder suddenly felt imposing, her grip like talons. I wanted to break away from her, but still didn't want to hurt her feelings. Thankfully, the house was now in sight. I could see Edward standing at the back windows, looking out towards us.

"I hope you'll come to think of us as your family, Abby. I know it will take time, but I'm positive it will happen." She stated, staring toward the back of the house with a wide smile.

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**I don't consider my Esme out of character here, this is just a wary Bella's take on an unfamiliar lifestyle. This chapter is a little later than I intended it to be, but writers block struck last week. The next chapter should be a little more interesting. **

**I would be remiss if I didn't pimp out this week's DeVil's AdVocate over at the LUV'NV. The story is Terms of Engagement by SnarkySimaril. Check it on out over at theluvnv(.)com**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I entered the house to find what looked to be a typical family night. Emmett and Jasper were perched on the cream couch, X-box controllers in hand with looks of determination etched on their faces. I could hear Alice and Rosalie upstairs, rummaging through a closet, commenting on wardrobe choices for the next day of school. _Typical house of teenagers_, I thought with a frown. I was waiting for a slip-up – something to give me insight as to who they really were behind the masks. Granted, I didn't expect to peel off the layers in one night, but how they could appear so human – so normal, was beyond my understanding.

Maintaining the human act took a large portion of my brain-power, and not to brag, but I had a lot of it. There was so much to consider: the speed of my voice, the rate of my breaths, the force I used to close a door or lob volleyball over a net. In everything I did, there was restraint, and exercising it was taxing. So how could they make it seem so effortless?

"Abby? Would you like to see the rest of the house?" Esme asked.

"Um, sure." I'd like to see where you keep all the dead bodies. Maybe I'd sneak a peek at the refrigerator when I had the chance.

"Edward, will you do the honors?" Esme asked with a smile.

"Of course." Edward walked away from the windowed wall, and reluctantly, I followed.

"The only other room on the main floor that you haven't seen is Carlisle's office." He informed me as we made our way to a door underneath the wooden staircase. There was a distinct odor coming from the room, one of old books; a woodsy oily smell. I was instantly eager to see what was inside.

Bookshelves lined every wall but one. The center of the room held a large mahogany desk, stacked high with medical journals and a laptop deck. The medical journals piqued my attention. I glanced from cover to cover, but wasn't able to decipher the medical jargon. Infarction, hypo-this and hyper-that, it was all Greek to me.

"Do you have an interest in medicine?"

"Oh, not really. I was just wondering what type of doctor Carlilse is." I swallowed hard, not knowing if I really wanted to know the answer. _What was the prefix for blood again? Hemo?_

"He's practically a jack of all trades. Surgeon. Cardiologist. Oncologist. Gynecologist."

"Seriously?" I asked, my voice dripped with sarcasm.

"All except the Gynecologist. I was just seeing if you were paying attention. You get this look in your eyes some times. It's like your mind is somewhere else. It's…interesting."

I quirked an eyebrow. _He thinks I'm a loon, great_. "I daydream a lot, I suppose. I guess that's what you're referring to."

"No, I think it's something else. I'm usually very good at reading people, but I have to admit that you are a complete mystery to me. An enigma." One side of his mouth drew up in a smirk as he contemplated me. I didn't like it, his eyes on me. I felt like he could see through me.

"I—I think if you actually saw what was going on in my head, you'd realize how simple I am." I found that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring my eyes to meet his honey gaze.

"No, I don't think you're simple at all." He continued to stare at me, before he shook his head, as if banishing some errant thought from his mind. "There's still more house to see. I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job as a tour guide." He ran his hand through his copper hair in a very human gesture.

"No tip for you." I stuttered nervously as he led us up the stairs. I was ashamed at how his presence alone unnerved me. There was a magnetism about him that I was drawn to.

"Don't spend all night in the bedroom, Eddie Boy. I'm waiting for my re-match." Emmett called from down the stairs. He drew his eyes away from the big screen TV just long enough to wag his eyebrows suggestively.

"Emmett Cullen!" Esme chided.

Edward gestured to the door nearest the stairs to his right. "Well, this_ used_ to be my room, until Alice and Jasper claimed it. One day I came home to find all of my things in the garage. My room had the biggest closet, and Alice would settle for nothing less."

"I can see that. I'm pretty sure she's changed the spare bedroom in the cottage to one huge closet."

Edward laughed a mirth-filled vibrato. "That doesn't surprise me."

The walls of this room were a subtle grey, the couch and comforter done is various shades of plum. It reminded me of a sitting area you would see in a posh clothing store. Billowy fabrics hung from odd angle forming a canopy over the bed. In contrast to the undeniably feminine flare of the room, was a sword display. Two ornate swords with slightly curving blades hung on a wall between two doors leading off of the room.

"What are…oh it's a bathroom and the second must be the closet. You're right, it _is_ big." The sound of my own voice reverberating around the room, off of the tiled floor and the large expanse of closet space, told me what was behind each door. Vampire senses, you got to love them.

"Moving on then? I'm sure Alice will love to give you the extended tour of her closet soon. No need to spoil that now." He said with an eye roll as he led me out of the room.

The next room down the hall was the master suite, Carlisle and Esme's room. It looked straight out of Better Homes and Gardens: eclectic furniture and linens all in muted whites and vibrant blues. I was beginning to see that Esme had excellent taste and an eye for detail.

The third door down the hallway was Rosalie's and Emmett's room, and the current residence of Alice and Rosalie. I guess I should be more specific, they were actually in the room's large adjoining bathroom. Rose sat in a parlor chair while Alice rifled through a countertop full of make-up. I wondered what the point of makeup was for someone like Rosalie. In fact, I was about to voice what I deemed as a compliment to her, until she scowled at the sight of me. So much for trying to be nice. The bitch was making it nearly impossible.

"Has Alice explained to her our offer to switch rooms with her?" Rosalie asked Edward, completely ignoring me. I wanted to wave my hands in front of her face. _I'm right here, you bitch!_

"Yes, Rosalie, Alice _did_ explain your offer to me. However, I'm afraid that I will have to decline for the time being." I wasn't about to go along with anything that would make the Princess more comfortable. Not to mention, I liked the solitude that the cottage had to offer, as opposed to being right smack dab in the middle of it all.

"Let me know if you change your mind." She said while staring at her own reflection in the mirror, puckering her lips to apply her lipstick. Her tone of voice screamed a spoiled-only-child-who-always-gets-what-she-wants complex. I found myself glaring at her image in the mirror, daring her to glance in my direction.

Edward's hands on my shoulders startled me from my one-sided staring contest. He guided me silently out of the room. Once we were in the hallway, he removed his hands from me. The absence of his touch felt as though all the air in my lungs had been sucked out of me, leaving me hollow and empty inside. I couldn't help the little sigh that escaped me. Luckily, Edward misinterpreted its meaning.

"Don't worry about Rose. She'll come around in time. Until then, just avoid her." He said in a hushed whisper. "I must admit though, I'm a little disappointed that you didn't take her up on the offer. You see, this is my room." He pointed to the doorway right next to the one we just exited.

_Did he want me close to him,_ I thought. _Of course, to keep an eye on you._ Lily's voice filled my head. _Don't get your hopes up, I don't want to see you get hurt._

Edward's room was the only room in the house so far without a door. Instead, there was a dark red curtain that hung from the top of the entryway. So much for privacy.

He lifted the curtain to reveal a small room with two walls comprised completely of windows. Books and CDs lined the long wall that bordered Rose and Emmett's room, and a single black chaise lounge sat in the middle of the small space. To be honest, it looked like more of an office than a bedroom.

Edward waited, staring at me intently.

"I think you got gipped."

"What do you mean?" He frowned.

"You've got the smallest room in the house. There's not even room for a bed."

"I have a couch, and the entertainment I need for a distraction." He gestured to the books and music. He had a point; there were enough books alone in the room to keep a vampire occupied for several weeks.

"What do you need a distraction from?" I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"Sex." And that definitely was _not_ what I expected. A fly could have flown into my mouth and I wouldn't have known. I was beyond thankful that I no longer had to worry about the telling blush that frequently colored my cheeks as a human. I would have been beet red at this point, my ears ablaze with the rush of blood.

"Er—uh –mmmkay?" I attempted a coherent sentence, but failed miserably. That seemed to happen a lot around Edward.

"Forgive me for being forward. I apologize. I'm afraid I have become accustom to living in a house full of couples that are all very—_very_ in love. I'm sure you can understand how living this close together leaves nothing to the imagination with vampire senses. My music and my books offer me as much as a distraction I'm able to afford. When it's absolutely unbearable, I roam the woods, reveling in the _silence_." For a moment, Edward had reverted to the speech and posture of a different time. His hands clasped behind his back and his angular jaw held high. Even the cadence of his speech changed.

"How old are you?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Seventeen." His mouth turned up into his devilish smirk.

"You know what I mean."

"I was born in Chicago, in 1901. Carlisle changed me in 1918."

I nodded to myself. That made sense. I could totally picture him with a goofy top hat and those jackets with the long tails on them.

"I can totally see that." I giggled.

"See what?" His eyes narrowed.

"You, dressed like a penguin in those ridiculous jackets with the tails on them." I found myself pantomiming the tails, flapping my hands behind me.

"Well of course, Miss Winters, I was a proper gentleman." He replied, again assuming the stature of the early twentieth century. He finished with a flourishing bow.

In a flash, he pressed several buttons on a very expensive-looking sound system, and had returned to my side, resuming the last pose of his bow. When music stirred to life, he looked up to meet my eyes and extended his hand to me.

"Will you do me the honor of dancing with me, Miss Winters?" I stared at his outstretched hand, dumbfounded. Edward unnecessarily cleared his throat. "This is where you giggle behind your fan and say, 'Why Mr. Mason, I'd be delighted.'" He trilled in an oddly masculine soprano. I couldn't help but laugh, and found myself placing my hand in his with a snicker and an eye roll.

With a flick of his wrist, I was wrapped in his arms, his scent making my head swim. He began to sway back and forth to the music, my back to his chest with both his hands clasping mine. The grainy sound of trumpets, piano, and violin played in harmony to a slow beat that Edward matched with each step. Operetta-like female voices began singing, their voices a soprano vibrato. The pops and hisses of the song brought back cloudy memories of my grandmother's record player. The noises it would make as the needle slid along the vinyl record.

"Is this a CD?" I asked in confusion as we continued to sway back and forth.

"I'm afraid I'm not sure what a 'CD' is, Miss Winters. If you are making a reference to the music, the song is entitled 'Tell Me Pretty Maiden'."

"How old is this song?"

"It débuted a year before my birth, in nineteen hundred." I gasped in shock as he swung me away from him in a spin.

"You, Miss Winters, are a natural." He winked.

"Oh no no no. I don't dance." I released his hands and took a step backwards.

"Nonsense, come here, I'll show you. It's all in the leading." He held his hands up in a dancer's pose, but crooked his index finger, beckoning me forward. I shook my head again.

He flitted to my side, scooping me into his arms and lifting my feet to rest atop his. Suddenly, the room became hot and my insides churned. His arm wrapped around my waist, holding me close to his muscled chest. His breath wafted over my face, smelling of sweet cream and honey. I felt my eyes flutter as my rigid resistance melted away in his embrace.

"Much better." He smiled down to me.

"Why are you doing this?" _Really, Bella, isn't it obvious. He knows the power he has over you, and he's exerting it right now. He feigns interest to have you wrapped around his finger._ What if he actually…_likes me? Keep your distance. Keep him at arm's length._ Well it's too late for that, I thought as I thought of his body touching mine.

"Dancing with you? It looked like you needed to let loose a bit. Also, I realize that you are in a house of complete strangers. This is my way of letting you know who I am, or where I came from at least. Your human past is still a part of you. It's important to treasure those memories to keep them from fading away."

"To hold onto your humanity." I mused aloud, quoting a phrase that Lily would often say.

"Exactly." He concluded, resting his chin against my cheek as he hummed along with the music – the sound resonating in his chest. "Yes, Alice?"

Quickly, I attempted to pull away from him; embarrassed to be seen like this, wrapped in his arms. Edward allowed my feet to touch the floor, but still held me in his arms swaying back and forth to the beat. He seemed calm and collected, not bothered at all by the intrusion.

I was ashamed, being caught in such a vulnerable position.

"Are you planning on keeping Abby all to yourself?" She asked with a wide smile and a glint in her eyes.

"Yes, I am, if you don't mind." Edward replied, tightening his hold on me causing my eyes to bulge.

"Well, I thought I would remind you about the baseball game tonight. We have…" Alice trailed off, her eyes glazing over for an instant before the spark returned. "Thirty-three minutes."

"Abby? Are you up for a game?" Edward looked down at me to ask.

"You guys go to baseball games?"

"No, we don't _go_ to them, we _play_ them." Edward clarified. I looked the wide window to confirm. Yup, still raining – storming in fact.

"But it's raining."

"Exactly!" Alice squealed with excitement.

"I'm lost."

"You'll see." Alice replied in a sing-song voice as she skipped down the hall. Maybe Blondie melted in the rain, like the wicked witch of the west. If that's the case, it's definitely something I didn't want to miss out on.

* * *

**Looks like Bella will be joining the Cullens for baseball, but this time, she can participate. Will the nomads show up to play, I have no idea. I guess its bad that I haven't thought that far in advance. I guess we'll find out next chapter. Te he he**

~Autumn


	11. Chapter 11

Phew. I didn't do a good job editing the last chapter. Sorry about that, and Happy 4th of July!

* * *

Chapter 11

Edward continued to sway back and forth to the music, humming softly while holding me in his arms. Alice's intrusion had left me feeling on edge.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Mmmmhhmm." He answered.

"What happens when Alice… blacks out like that? Is there something _wrong_ with her?"

"Oh you noticed that, did you?" He chuckled. "Very observant." He sighed. "She'll probably be upset at me for telling you this, but I don't want to hide anything from you anymore. Alice can see the future." He replied casually.

"Ha ha. Very, funny. I'm serious." I tried to pull away from him, but re didn't relent.

"As am I. Alice gets visions of the future. It's not always one hundred percent. The future is volatile after all. The closer the event, the more certainty she has."

"I was told that there were vampires with special abilities, but I didn't believe it." As incredulous as it sounded, I believed him. _Of course you do. You'll believe anything he says._

"Does anyone else in your coven have powers?" He stopped his swaying as the music faded into silence.

Placing one finger under my chin, he lifted my head to look me in the eyes. "You mean _our_ _family_?" O_ur family_. The way he said it made it seem like the statement included me.

"Sorry." I mumbled, pulling away from him. I turned to rifle through his extensive book collection, running my fingers along their spines.

"And the answer is, yes." My head spun around to face him.

"Who?" I asked, thoroughly intrigued. In my mind, I was cataloging what I knew about each individual Cullen. Maybe Blondie had the power of Super-bitchiness.

"Well, myself and Jasper." Edward ran his long fingers through his hair, tousling his copper locks. _God, he had amazing hair._ It took me a moment to get my train of thought back on the rails.

"What is your power?" _Melting me to the core, _I mused to myself.

"I read minds." He replied, glancing up to meet my gaze briefly from under his hooded brow.

"You _what_!" I yelled. "Shit! Well, that's something you could have mentioned. So I guess you know _everything_, huh?" I sneer, throwing my hands in his face in anger. Dear Lord, he knows all about Charlie, about who I really am! Fuck! _He knows about all the dirty fantasies of yours he's stared in._ "Shut up!"

"Abby! Abby! Calm down!" He tried to grab me, but I dodged his grasp. Having him touch me would be too much right now.

"What do you mean, calm down? You know, that's something you should tell someone when you meet them. Like 'Hi, I'm Edward, and I. Can. Read. Your. Mind.'" I drew out each word slowly, seething. Staring at him, his face seemed panicked – so different from his normally cool facade. I had rattled him. At least that thought brought with it a little satisfaction.

That would be my parting gift to myself. I had enough, in a flash I was down the stairs and out the door. I needed to get away, far away from here. From _him_. My little experiment had backfired, and now my privacy, and possibly Charlie's safety, was breached. Damned mind reader.

My eyes burned as venom pooled where tears could not. I felt betrayed, my trust violated. _I'm so sorry, Bella._

"So here's the part where you say, 'I told you so'." Great, now I'm answering you out loud. I'd really lost it. I ran deep into the forest, where the vegetation was too dense for any human, hoping that they'd leave me alone. My hopes were in vain.

"Abby, can I please explain?" Edward called, his voice full of false emotion. Like he really cared about me. He could let up the act now – it was over.

"No, you've said enough." I pressed on, seeing a clearing up ahead.

"Abby, stop!" Alice yelled, panic in her voice. Instead her command just pushed me forward.

I ripped my wig from my head, leaving the damned thing at the edge of the tree line as I made my way into the clearing. There was no use in hiding my identity from them. I'm sure _Edward_ had already told them every last detail of my pitiful life story. That explained why Alice knew my name. Hell, the little fortune teller probably saw me coming in her crystal ball.

I stepped out into the clearing, leaving the Cullens behind me in the tree-line. I danced out to the middle of the clearing, absentmindedly wondering if perhaps I had crossed some invisible wolf line. But there was no rabid dog smell. No, not rabid dog, but something else.

There was the sickeningly sweet aroma of another vampire. More than one. Yes, there were three of them, approaching from the north.

_Hide_, Lilly commanded. Where, I thought, I'm in the middle of a fucking clearing. I seemed to have the best luck.

From out of the tree-line to the north came three vampires – Nomads by the look of them. The male in front had olive-toned skin and jet black hair. He wore a worn leather jacket and fitted brown pants. He was barefoot I noticed, like the rest of them. To his right was a female with fiery locks of red hair that trailed from her face in tendrils. She looked feline, her eyes had a narrow-piercing gaze and her small mouth formed a thin line. She had high graceful cheekbones and a slender body, concealed underneath worn hip-hugger jeans and a tie-dyed shirt. She looked beautifully deadly. The last of the three immediately sent a chill up my spine. Every nerve ending in my body sprung to life, telling me to run the other direction, but I was frozen with shock.

Either my vision had blacked out, or the female was very fast. In a Nano second, she had appeared in front of me, her body coiled in a semi-crouch, gently shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Her quick-darting eyes searched mine.

"What's your name, little one?" She asked in a tinkling soprano. The voice sounded strange coming from her mouth. I expected something feline, sensual, a voice that sounded as smooth and silk, dripping with sex.

"Her name is none of your concern." I heard a voice answer from behind me, low and dangerous. It was Edward. Strange, I hadn't heard him approach but I was now aware that I was surrounded. Edward, Alice, Emmett, Esme, Jasper and Rosalie were all behind me, while the three nomads hovered in front of my vision.

The red-head hissed in reply, and whereas her voice was not feline, her hiss was spot-on.

"What business do you have here?" Edward asked.

"We were simply passing through the area when we caught the scent of this young one. We were only curious." The olive-skinned man replied, but my eyes held another.

The other male had short blonde hair. His eyes were a deep jewel toned ruby, and his features were rigid and angular. I heard a growl, deep and menacing, and wondered who it was coming from. But my eyes remained trained on the blonde male as his lips slowly curved into a menacing grin. His eyes creased at the corners as he cocked his head to the side to regard me.

"Ah, I thought your scent was familiar." He chuckled darkly. The noise that was a low growl erupted into a roar of furry, joined by another deep growl. Suddenly, Edwards's arms appeared around my upper arms, restraining me. I was confused. I was sure I hadn't moved. In fact, I was quite certain I was still frozen in place.

"Leave. Now!" Edward commanded. The olive-skinned vampire nodded and immediately began to retreat, but the red-head and the blonde male lingered – their eyes boring into my own. The female turned in a flash, her flaming hair spinning in her wake, but still the blonde male remained. His face still held that same frightening grin and his eyes narrowed as he studied me.

Out of nowhere, everything burst into motion. My senses failed me, and all I saw were blurs and flashes of motion. I keenly felt the crunch of my left shoulder, colliding with something, sending a wave of pain radiating throughout my body. The growls had renewed as well. They came from all around me coupled with quick snarls and low throaty rumbles.

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought I was in the middle of a tornado; being flung around, my body crashing into debris while eerie howls of the storm wailed in my ears. And just like a tornado it was all over as quickly as it began. I was brought back to my senses by a loud piercing scream. The red-head was the first vision that appeared before my hazy eyes. She was thrashing, grunting, and growling, trying to break free from the olive-skinned vampire. Her eyes were trained on me, narrowed to slits of crimson as venom streaked down her face. Was she…_crying_?

My gaze trailed back to find chunks of white lying at my feet. I realized to my own horror what the pieces of stone were. My hand flew to my mouth in shock. I bolted. No hands restrained me this time. No footsteps followed me.

My chest heaved up and down. My eyes surveyed the forest too quickly. I was on edge. Climbing the tallest tree I could find, I clung to the top branches, hoping my scent wouldn't betray me.

_What had happened? Did they…did I?_ My brain tried to make sense of what had just transpired, but there were glaring holes in my memory – all the details were missing; blurred and muddied. I shook my head, wondering what the hell was wrong with me.

_Thank you_. Lily's shaky voice spoke from inside my head. _No_, I didn't. I couldn't have. _You did_, she confirmed_._ But I still couldn't believe her. I had been petrified with fear, rooted to the ground. I seemed to have shut down, crawled back inside the shell of my being. The Cullens, they did it, not me. _Oh, they helped. Well most of them. The blonde didn't want to get her hands dirty._

But why? _You let the monster take over. _I swallowed uneasily at her words. I felt the truth in them. _It's alright, Bella. I forgive you. You killed that bastard. Consider my death avenged,_ she chuckled. I laughed without humor, noticing the purple plumes of smoke that rose from the clearing.

No, I'd become the monster we tried so hard to keep at bay. I'd taken a life. _Yes, but you've saved countless more by ending his miserable existence. Can't you see that? I'm proud of you, Bella._ I smiled at that thought because I knew what she meant. For once I hadn't run. For once I faced my fears.

"Abby?" I heard Alice's voice question. I looked down to find everyone at the base of my tree, looking up at me. "Are you alright?" She asked sweetly.

I didn't reply, but slowly made my way down the tree. I still hadn't forgiven Edward for his intrusive mind-reading. I had thought about giving them the silent treatment, but that probably wouldn't be effective with a mind reader. Still, I had no idea what to say to them.

Once my feet hit the ground, I was wrapped in a tight hug.

"Oh my God, Abby. You scared the crap out of us! I only caught a glimpse of what was going to happen right before you set foot into the clearing. I thought it was too late." I patted her on the back awkwardly. I still wasn't used to touchy feely people, and this coven was full of them. My eyes rested on Edward with a glare.

"I know you're getting this message." I continued to glare at him as I'm slung back and forth in Alice's hug.

Jasper chuckled. "Oh he doesn't, but I read you loud and clear." I stared incredulously at Jasper.

"You too?" I huffed.

"Will you agree to come back to the house so we can discuss this?" Edward asked. My eyes narrowed in question.

"After we've explained ourselves, it will be your decision whether you stay or go. Just please give us a chance to explain." I couldn't help but feel wary. Why couldn't we discuss things right now, right here?

"Why can't we discuss things here, now?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"That redhead isn't too happy with us for killing her mate. Even though they're outnumbered, I wouldn't put it past them to try to attack. We are out in the open here. It's better if we all go back to the house." Jasper did have a point, and one I hadn't thought of.

"Fine. But will you promise to let me leave if I chose to?" _As if their word means anything._

"Of course we don't want you to leave, Abby. But it is your choice if you chose to." Esme's expression was torn. She tried a tentative smile, but it didn't touch her eyes.

I nodded my head and followed them back toward the house. Sounds of thunder accompanied our trek back through the forest.

"So much for Baseball." I heard Emmett mutter under his breath, earning him a slap on the arm from Rosalie.

* * *

So it looks like Bella will give Edward a chance to explain things. You'll see how she takes it in the next chapter. =)


	12. Chapter 12

I count on nap times for writing, and my baby hasn't been cooperating with nap time. Hence why this is late getting out. Also, for those of you who also read my other story, Candy Striping, I haven't been able to start on my next chapter of that story. It won't be out until this weekend at the earliest.

* * *

Chapter 12

_Previously: I nodded my head and followed them back toward the house. Sounds of thunder accompanied our trek back through the forest._

"_So much for Baseball." I heard Emmett mutter under his breath, earning him a slap on the arm from Rosalie._

The trek back to the home was silent. I preferred it that way.

When we entered the house, Carlisle looked relieved.

"I got your text, Alice. I was worried. Is everything alright? What happened?" _Damn, he was good at faking concern. Then again, maybe his love for his "family" was genuine, even though his regard for human life was not._

"Everything is alright. I'm afraid we did have to put an end to another vampire though. He tried to attack Abby." Edward confirmed, speaking with emphasis on the last part. _He tried to attack me? No, _Lily answered_, he's just covering for you._ I let that realization sink in – the thought that Edward would lie to his own father to protect me. Or maybe it was just to protect himself and his siblings?

Carlisle brought his hand to rest under his chin as he stared at the floor. Slowly, he nodded and sighed. "I lament the loss of any life, but this was an act of self-defense. Was the vampire alone?"

"No, there were two others with him. A male and a female." Jasper answered Carlisle's question.

"And is there reason to believe that they will choose to retaliate?"

"The female believed herself to be the vampire's mate, though he didn't share the same sentiment. The other male was just journeying with the pair for convenience sake. I don't see him retaliating, but the female is a different story. Nevertheless, we have their scents know, and Alice can keep an eye out for them if they chose to return." Isn't he just _so_ special.

Carlisle nodded his head, still deep in thought.

"Well, now that we've got that out of the way. There's still the issue of explaining your "mind reading"." I crossed my hands over my chest and stared pointedly at Edward. I also noticed the hint of a smile that Jasper was trying to hide.

"That goes for you too, Jasper." At my words, Jasper immediately straightened and the smile vanished from his face.

"Well let me begin by saying what I should have said in the first place." Edward began. "I can't read _your_ mind."

"Bullshit." I answered immediately. I heard Esme's gasp, but continued. "You read those nomads' minds, and you clearly were reading the minds of the students in the cafeteria."

"Yes, I can read _their_ minds, just not _yours_. In fact, you are the first person that I have not been able to read – ever. And you can't imagine how – how frustrating that is."

I snorted. "So I'm supposed to believe that miraculously, I'm the only one your little gift doesn't work on?" I then turned my attention on Jasper. "And you? So if he can't hear my thoughts, then you surely can." Jasper puts his hands up in a motion of surrender.

"Jasper can't read your mind, Abby. He can feel your emotions." Alice clarified. _Oh, well isn't that just peachy_, I thought.

"Oh – _great_." I throw my hands up.

"Like right now, your…for a lack of a better word: _pissed_." Jasper announced.

I'm not impressed. "Really, that's the best you can do?"

"Do you really want me going into more detail?" He hedged, shifting his eyes towards Edward's direction. Edward's mouth turns up, and I caught a glimpse of his characteristic smirk. It nearly took my breath away.

"No. That won't be necessary." I tried to maintain composer, but on the inside, I was hyperventilating. I needed to change the subject.

"So Edward, how can you prove to me that you can't read my mind?" He brought his hand to his forehead, resting it there as he pondered my question; his eyebrow upturned in a perfect arch.

"I have no clue."

Emmett piped up at this point. "I've got it. Think of something that's so funny, it's guaranteed to get a reaction out of Eddie." Emmett's face held a broad dimpled smile.

"Um, I can try it, but I'm not really sure what will guarantee a laugh."

"Humor me." Edward answered, and damnit if there's that same smirk on his face.

_I want to lick your hair, _was the first thought that came to mind. Funny? Who knew, but it should definitely get a reaction. Still, Edward remained stoic, no flinch or any inkling of emotion crossed his features.

"Nothing?" I asked.

"Not a peep." He confirmed.

"I'm still not convinced… What's my favorite color?"

"Purple."

Oh _crap_. "You're right!" I fumed.

Edward held his hands up and backed away from me as my eyes narrowed on him. "It was just a guess fueled by evidence. Your backpack, it's purple. I just guessed."

"Fine. But this isn't over. I still have more tests for you, Mister." I emphasized my point by jabbing my finger in his direction. Turning my attention away from Edward back to Alice and Jasper. "But you too, how do _your_ gifts' work?"

"I can feel your emotions, and I can also make you _feel_ emotions." Jasper piped up.

"Alright, hit me with what you've got. I'll name the emotion." I shook out my shoulders, limbering myself for Jasper's little "show".

"Alright, but you asked for it." He cocked his head to the side and studied me with a huge shit-eating grin on his face.

_Fuck! _The emotion he sent my way made my knees buckle. Heat flooded my body, making every nerve ending spring to life. The heat traveled from my arms and legs to my core, finally resting between my legs. I squeezed them shut; hoping that no one would notice the small shudders of desire that now wracked my body. The lust was so overpowering that I didn't have the sense enough to feel embarrassed.

"You…can…stop now." I half-panted. Jasper nodded his head, and soon I regained my composure.

"Don't you ever do that to me again." I threatened in a low voice, straightening the hem of my shirt.

"Yes Ma' am." He saluted me.

I glared at him in return. "You getting my message, Jasper?"

"Loud and clear, honey." He chuckled. I didn't find it amusing at all.

"And Alice, Edward explained to me how your gift works. You see the future based on the decisions that have already been made?"

"Yes. There are things that are clearer for me, like the weather. Decisions don't affect the weather. And I can also see the futures of people I am more familiar with more clearly."

"What about me? Can you see my future clearly?" I asked, anxiety plaguing my voice.

She smiled a broad smile. "I'm fairly certain of your future, regardless of what…_other_ people might think. So yes, I can see your future, but it's hazy. There's not too much detail."

"And as my decisions change, it changes what you see in my future."

"Yes." She nodded her head.

"Can I speak to you then…about my future? _Privately_?" I had to know what she already knew about me. _And why would you believe her? _ _Anything she tells you can't be trusted. Remember, the only motives they serve are their own._

"I would be happy to – but _some_ people, don't want me to." She bobbed her little head back and forth, crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes darted momentarily in Edward's direction.

"You know, I think that's enough talk for one night. We have plenty of time." Edward interjected.

"You're right, Edward. We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other, Abby. That is of course, if you would like to stay?" Esme questioned with her large honey eyes. How could I say no to that look?

"She's staying." Alice answered, tapping her temple with a smug little smile.

"Yes, I'll stay." _For now. _My answer earned me a tight hug from Esme, and a tentative pat on the shoulder from Carlisle. He was keeping his distance from me. Maybe he was still afraid of what I'd find out.

I didn't have much time to think about Carlisle's aloofness because Emmett snatched me up in another bear-sized hug and squeezed the life out of me. Good thing I was already dead.

"My newest little sister!" He exclaimed, while nuzzling my shoulder. Emmett was a strange mixture of child and lumberjack. I couldn't help but find the combination endearing. _Don't let them pull you in._

Rosalie marched angrily up the stairs, and Jasper kept his distance from me. It was probably best; I was still pretty pissed about my very public orgasmic experience. Edward casually approached me after all the hugging and gushing had subsided. Everyone was milling about, awkwardly roaming around the great room as if they were merely biding their time.

"Walk with me?" He asked, offering me his hand.

"Okay." I answered almost breathlessly. _Dear Lord, what's wrong with me? _Again, I reveled in the way his skin felt against my own – soft, warm, _right_. He led me out the back glass door and into the forest. Night had fallen in Forks, casting the woodland in eerie blues and purples.

We continued walking at a leisurely place, and I realized that I had no idea where we were going. Edward abruptly stopped and turned towards me.

"There, that should be far enough." He announced.

"For what?" I questioned.

"For some privacy. It's a hard thing to come by in a house full of vampires." A strange feeling spurred in my stomach – knotting and bunching. He smiled down at me, his eyes aglow from the moon's light. He looked angelic, too perfect; so beautiful it made me want to cry.

"It's nearing the witching hour." Edward continued as I remained mute, staring unblinking into his eyes.

"The wha?" I sputtered.

"The witching hour. It's the time of night when the couples in our family go and…" He trailed off, moving his hand in a circle to continue his point.

"Oh!" I exclaimed "_Oh_." Suddenly, I was a bundle of nerves again, but I couldn't blame it on Jasper this time. _Did he bring me out here to…? Does he…? _I couldn't even finish the thoughts in my head. They seemed so far-fetched to me. How could he…_feel_ that way about _me_? I was nothing, and he was _everything_.

"Is—s that why we're out—t here?" I mumbled.

"Well, I didn't think you'd want to hear them."

Rejection. I felt the weight of it. Of course he didn't want to be here with me – alone. He only wanted to get away from his horny family. "Oh no, of course not. That would be –er—weird." I awkwardly ran my fingers through my hair. "Shit!"

"What?" Edward questioned.

"My wig, I threw it off in the clearing. I thought I…never mind. I _need_ to get it." There was no way I could go back to school tomorrow without my wig. Having someone recognize me as the police chief's daughter would have untold repercussions.

"Then we'll go get it. It's a shame though." He said as he began walking in the direction of the clearing. I trotted after him.

"What's a shame?"

"Covering up your hair with that wig. It's beautiful. It reminds me of my mother's hair."

"Um, thank you." I squeaked, embarrassment flowing freely through me. "You remember your mother even after all these years?" Deflection: a great way to avoid uncomfortable subjects.

"My memory isn't perfect. In fact it has become more difficult to visualize her face in my mind. But having a picture helps." He smiled tenderly, his eyes looked as if he wasn't looking at the scenery around him, but envisioning a different image in front of his gaze.

"I wish I had thought to take a picture of my mother with me. I have nothing with me from my human life."

"No, that's not true."

I snorted. "How would you know?"

"You've managed to hold onto yourself at a very difficult stage in this new life. Not many can say that. I was a rather rebellious newborn myself. But your self-control. Well, it amazes me. It amazes Jasper, and he's seen his fair share of newborns."

"Newborn; I hate that label. I much prefer "novice". It has a nicer ring to it. And I still do struggle with this life. Every day, I have to restrain myself from killing people. It's something that's constantly at the forefront of my mind. A 'oops, almost killed that one' thought. No one should have to live like this." I pulled my jacket more tightly around myself. Edward had a way of making me feel so vulnerable. Of course it didn't help that I bared my soul to him without thinking every time we talked.

"It does get easier. But you're right, most of our kind don't chose to ignore their…baser instincts. They succumb to the blood-lust. We've all slipped up. Well, all of us except for Rosalie. Her record remains untarnished."

"Blondie? Really? I find that hard to believe. So even Esme?" Now we were getting to the good stuff. Maybe he would trust me enough to tell me the truth. _The way you hang onto every word that spills from his mouth, how are you going to be able to tell the difference between what's true and what's not?_

"Yes. She found her 'singer'."

"Her what?" For some reason the image of Emse draining Tina Turner dry popped into my head. _Distrubing_.

"Her 'singer'. It's a person who's blood calls to you more than any others. To resist it is impossible."

"So did you find your eh…singer?" I found myself hoping he would say no – hoping that Edward would remain as perfect as the image I created of him in my mind.

"No, thankfully I haven't." I let out a gust of air in relief. " But I know it's happened to both Esme and Emmett. They said that the bloodlust was so strong, that all thought and restraint escaped them. And before they knew it, they had drained the poor human dry." I couldn't help the shudder that passed through my body at his words.

"Esme went into a depression after it happened to her. It took her several years before she allowed herself to be around humans again. She still tends to avoid situations that put her close to them, whether she admits it to herself or not. She always manages to find a reason to stay home, or finds another project to keep her busy."

"And you know this because you can read her mind."

"Of course." He smiled his devilish smirk, his teeth glinting in the moonlight.

"Wait." I stopped when the thought popped into my head. "The nomads. What if they're still here?" I could see the clearing in the distance, smell the scent of pine and fir trees dissipate and give way to the open air.

"They should be long gone by now. We'll be careful. Besides, I'll be able to hear them if they're near."

"And by 'hear them' you mean read their minds."

"Of course."

"But not mine."

"You're starting to catch on." He laughed and pressed forward out into the open expanse.

* * *

Bonding time with Edward. Also, for those of you that have given me your opinion about Bella's pairing in this story. Thank you. I greatly appreciated everyone's input. I have listened to what you have said, and this will be a canon story. Bella and Edward just might have a few "detours" and rough patches on the way. I hope you join me to see how it all unfolds!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_Previously:_

"_Wait." I stopped when the thought popped into my head. "The nomads. What if they're still here?" I could see the clearing in the distance, smell the scent of pine and fir trees dissipate and give way to the open air._

"_They should be long gone by now. We'll be careful. Besides, I'll be able to hear them if they're near." _

"_And by 'hear them' you mean read their minds."_

"_Of course."_

"_But not mine."_

"_You're starting to catch on." He laughed and pressed forward out into the open expanse._

"Well, now is as good a time as any, I suppose." Edward sighed to himself once we were fifteen feet into the clearing.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I panicked. "The nomads?" Without thinking, I clutched his shoulder, pressing myself into him in fear.

"No, the wolves." He clarified. As if on cue, I saw the first of several massive beasts make their way into the clearing from out of the tree line. "Don't be afraid. I'll explain things."

Don't be afraid? _Don't be afraid!_ There were several massive beasts stalking towards us with their heads lowered. And now that they were within range, I was certain that the growls emanating from them weren't a sign of welcome.

"She is with us." Edward spoke evenly. The answering roars didn't sound too pleasant. "Yes, she is the one that you chased through the woods. I was trying to explain the treaty lines, but she didn't give me a chance."

_Oops. _

"She is new to this life, and quite…skittish." He turned to regard me, the corner of his mouth turning up in a half-smile. I scowled at him in return.

"Is that really necessary...yes, I understand. Give me a moment to explain things to her." _Crap, that didn't sound good. _

"Abby, the wolves would like to see the color of your eyes. They merely need to confirm your…diet."

I swallowed needlessly. "That means they will need to be close." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. It's alright; I promise they will not hurt you. They are bound by the treaty." At his words, I heard a strange barking noise come from the largest of the wolves. The other three pawed at the dirt.

"No, we have maintained our end. No human has been harmed. We were not the ones to _create_ her. She is young, keep in mind that her eyes will still have a tinge of red. That red is her own blood, still in her veins." Edward's voice carried an edge to it. Whatever they were thinking was not good – it made me nervous.

The lead wolf made another barking noise, this time the sound was deeper. I wondered if his ire was from Edward's words or his tone. For it occurred to me that the noise was an objection.

Exasperated, Edward ran his hands through his hair. _God, I loved it when he did that._ A strange cracking noise brought me out of my musings. My eyes darted to the sound's source to find the largest deep-black wolf writhing and changing. Edward quickly shifted me behind him in a protective stance and together we took several cautious steps backwards.

Where there was fur I began to see patches of skin. All the while, the wolf's form bucked and rolled as if it were being consumed from within. The sounds of cracking and popping were the wolf's bones – they seemed to be reforming. The creature was shifting. And soon before me stood a man where there once was a wolf – a _naked_ man.

I gasped in shock and buried my face into the back of Edward's shirt. His body shook with laughter.

"I felt it better to talk for myself." I heard a deep voice boom.

"Well, I'm not sure if she'll find you less intimidating in this form."

"Can he put some pants on, or at least…_cover_ himself?" I squeaked from behind Edward's back. I heard the sound of rustling leaves followed be a signaled throat clearing from Edward. I took that as an "it's safe" gesture and stepped out from behind his back.

Thankfully the man had covered himself with a carefully placed branch from an evergreen. To my horror though, I realized I knew this man. I recognized him from my human memories, but I couldn't attach his face to a name. I only hoped, no _prayed_ that he didn't recognize me as well. I cursed myself for leaving my wig, once again, at the edge of the clearing.

The moment I stepped out from behind Edward, a gray wolf to the right and behind the tree-clad man took a step forward. I recognized him as the wolf that had chased me through the forest not two days ago. His approach made me pause.

If I had a heart that still beat, it would be hammering out a frantic pace.

"This is Paul." The man explained as he gestured for the wolf to halt in his approach. "He needs to confirm that your scent has not changed in the last two days. He will know if you have fed on any humans."

I straightened my shoulders at his words and lifted my chin. "I don't feed on humans…_ever_."

The man nodded for "Paul" to come forth, and I held my breath and turned to stone as he made his way toward me. I could feel my skin prickle and my muscles coil involuntarily in preparation for attack or retreat. I had to fight against these instincts to stay rooted in place as the grey beast approached.

When my eyes met the beast's coal black ones, I couldn't help the low growl that rumbled in my chest. The wolf sent an answering one slightly more forceful than my own.

He was enormous, his back reaching the height of my shoulders and his head towering over my own. Each heavy paw shook the earth beneath it, and I knew that he was doing this for effect – to test me. He approached from my right flank while Edward hovered to me left.

"Make this quick." Edward commanded with his eyes narrowed on the grey wolf. The wolf let out a bark that sounded something like a laugh. _Well it was great to know that he was enjoying this._

"I've had enough of this. We're leaving." Edward announced as he grabbed my jacket, pulling it from my shoulders in one swift motion before I could protest.

"You wanted her scent. Well there it is." He said as he tossed my jacket toward the wolves. "She is a Cullen now, and you will not harm her or I will have your heads." He roared before turning and grabbing me and hauling off towards the forest line.

We were under the cover of the trees before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry, Abby. I should have consulted Alice before we left. That was not the formal controlled introduction that you should have had."

"It's okay. They're just overgrown bullies in fur coats. I just wish I hadn't let them rile me up." I replied as I swooped down to retrieve my wig. I wasn't going to forget it _again_.

"Rile you up? Are you kidding, you handled things much better than I did. Once again, you amaze me." He turned to face me, a wide smile on his face.

I snorted. "The prodigal newborn strikes again. Really, it's not hard to adapt to this life if you've never known any other way. I've always had to control my urges from day one. That's no different today; it just gets minutely easier over time. I've never tasted human blood. I'm sure if I had, it would be much harder to resist it."

"Oh, it is. After I went through my rebellion phase, it took some time to suppress my urges when I had become accustomed to giving into them." Edward admitted casually.

_And the angel falls from his lofty post._ I couldn't believe it.

"You – killed people?" My voice was barely more than a whisper. I should have realized this. No, I _knew_ this, but I refused to think of it. He had said that Rose was the only one with an untarnished record. Of course he included himself in that statement. He had killed people – _several_ people from the sound of it. He was a monster, just like the rest of them. _I'm sorry Bella._ Even Lily's soft voice in my mind couldn't deflect the blow. I fell to the ground under the crushing weight of realization.

"Abby? What's wrong?" Edward was immediately at my side, trying to help me to me feet.

"No! Don't touch me. Leave me alone!" I roared at him like a petulant child. I looked up into his eyes to see the hurt that I had caused written plainly on his face.

"Abby, it was a very very long time ago. I am not proud of—"

"Just go. Leave." I pleaded. I couldn't hear his lies any more. He had let out the truth. Funny, I finally had the thing that I thought I wanted the most; the truth. And now, all I wished for were more pretty lies wrapped in pretty paper with brightly colored bows on top.

I thought that the truth would bring me some justification – validation. But instead I felt more broken and alone than ever. Edward was gone, Lily was gone, and I had nothing left but myself.

I curled into a ball on the forest floor and prayed for the darkness to take me. I clamped my eyes shut for days, focusing only on the noises around me. But a vampire's mind wanders unbidden. Edward remained in the back of my mind, the memories of our short time together tinged with pain.

I shouldn't have allowed myself to care_. It's in your nature, Bella, to care. It's why you'll never turn into one of them._ But I wanted to be one of them – a Cullen. I wanted so desperately to be part of something. To belong.

_You don't belong with them. You're better than them._ I couldn't believe her. Edward was good, I could feel it. And the same went for Alice, Esme, and Emmett. They were inherently good.

_Good at lying, at pulling the wool over your eyes. It's been two days now, Bella, and they've left you in this forest alone. If they cared for you, they would have come back for you._ Her words stung like flames – they burned, swallowing up every glimmer of hope.

Pulling myself up from the ground, I began walking north, towards what I didn't know. _Bella, no, don't do this._ "I don't want to do this anymore. You were right about them, Lily." I smiled as I heard large padded paws running my way. Ah, the wolves, I had forgotten about them. Maybe this was how it should be. Maybe it would be quick – relatively painless. Idly I hoped it wouldn't be the grey wolf coming. He was too cocky. Maybe it would be the largest wolf, the one who seemed familiar – _Sam_. Yes that was his name. Maybe he would take pity on me.

I looked up to find my silent hopes answered, the large black wolf stared back at me. I continued forward and heard a low warning growl. The moment before my foot crossed the line and arm wound around my wrist, restraining me.

"Please don't do this." I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. I could pick out Edward's voice in a sea of people. _He came,_ I smiled at the thought_._

"I don't think he'll hurt me." It was true; something inside of me told me that he would let me pass. He would let me go on my way to the north – towards solitude. I felt so alone already, I might as well really _be_ alone. I would travel north until there were no more people, until it was only me.

"He won't, but he will defend himself." I took a step backwards and turned to face Edward. His eyes looked pained. "Why? Why would you do this?"

"Why not? This life I've been dealt is full of tragedy – full of pain and disappointment."

"I see." My words hurt him. "Then I am a disappointment to you."

"No, you are what you are. I should expect nothing more. It was my fault for doing so." He dipped his head to mine, and let out a tearless sob. Then, he angled his finger under my jaw and lifted my face to his. For a brief moment, his eyes focused on my lips, and I was frozen with anxiety and _want_.

"If you wish to go, then go. But don't end yourself. Please, Bella. I couldn't bear the thought of a world that you don't exist in." I was speechless.

"How do—" He stopped my words by crashing his lips to mine. I couldn't think enough to push him away. Even so I didn't want to. I was lost in the warmth and tenderness of his kiss. Reveling in the way our lips moved together. I instantly yielded to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and twining my fingers in his copper locks. His lips parted and his tongue sought its way into my mouth, swirling circles around my own.

His hand that held my wrist instead wrapped around my waist, pulling my body even closer to his. His other hand tenderly cupped my cheek as he worshiped my lips with his own. My day dreams of this moment couldn't touch the reality of it.

I had to open my eyes to ensure that I wasn't still on the earthen floor, lost in my mind's musings. My eyes opened to find his intense topaz gaze staring back at me. He pulled away from me, his face instantly darkened in concern.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. The ever-calm-cool-and-collected-Edward seemed dumbfounded.

"Is that my parting gift?" I wondered aloud. Edward was always poised, always in control. I wondered what this lapse meant. Was he toying with my emotions in an attempt to make me stay?

Edward laughed without humor and his face again took on a somber tone. "I've wanted to do that for a while. I was afraid I wouldn't get the chance."

Wait. 'A while?' _He knows your name! _Yeah, we'll get to that in a minute, Edward Cullen just kissed me.

"Define 'a while'?" I asked, unable to look into his eyes.

"When I came to your house."

"You mean when you _broke_ _into_ my house." I corrected him.

"If we're being technical here, it wasn't really _your_ house. But yes. You're cute when you're angry." That earned him a glare.

"Oh really." I tried to keep a straight face but I couldn't. "But it doesn't change the fact that you've killed people, Edward." I turned away from him. I couldn't think clearly with him so close.

"May I explain myself?"

"The truth?" I hedged.

"I've never told you anything less."

"Okay." _Open mind. Open mind, _I chanted to myself. My fingers brushed my lips – they still tingled from his kiss. _Well that certainly swayed things in his favor._

"It was nineteen twenty eight. I had never tasted a drop of human blood, but that didn't mean I wasn't curious. Like a teenager I rebelled against Carlisle and Esme. I stupidly thought that they were denying me by forbidding me to hunt humans. I vainly thought that things would be different for me, given my gift. I became something of a vigilante, feeding only from the rapists and murders – the scourge of society. I justified my violence with the thought that I was preventing crimes by killing the perpetrators. In a matter of years I came to realize that I was no better than those I fed on. I was still a monster and a murderer. Carlisle and Esme welcomed me back with open arms and without judgment. I didn't deserve their leniency. But I swear to you that I have never taken a human life since."

"I believe you." And the truth was that I _did_ believe him. However, I was still undecided whether that mattered or not.

"But?" He added, realizing that there was more to my statement.

"It doesn't change the fact that you've killed, Edward."

"I understand." He made his face into a mask, letting no emotion touch his features.

"How do you know my name?—Alice!" I hissed, answering my own question.

"Forgive my sister for her… prying nature, she can't help it sometimes." A glimmer of a grin passed across his face. "By the way, I prefer Bella. It suits you. There is no reason to hide who you are." His voice faded to barely a whisper. Hesitantly, he brushed a stray hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. The touch of his skin to mine was like fire and ice. I shuddered, and his hand fell limply at his side in defeat.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me." Abruptly he turned away and gone in a blur, leaving me to think.

* * *

Sorry for my delay in getting this out, but sometimes you can't rush these things or else they don't come out the way you want them to. It looks like we're finally getting somewhere with Edward and Bella. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm not sure when I'll get the next one out. I leave for vacation in a week.

Thank you for reading

~Love, Autumn =)


	14. Chapter 14

_Wow, it's been a long time since I've updated. Thank you to those of you who are still reading this story. Things are starting to get juicy. I hope you enjoy it!  
_

Chapter 14_  
_

_Previously: "It doesn't change the fact that you've killed, Edward."_

"_I understand." He made his face into a mask, letting no emotion touch his features. _

"_How do you know my name?—Alice!" I hissed, answering my own question._

"_Forgive my sister for her… prying nature, she can't help it sometimes." A glimmer of a grin passed across his face. "By the way, I prefer Bella. It suits you. There is no reason to hide who you are." His voice faded to barely a whisper. Hesitantly, he brushed a stray hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. The touch of his skin to mine was like fire and ice. I shuddered, and his hand fell limply at his side in defeat. _

"_I'm sorry. Forgive me." Abruptly he turned away and was gone in a blur, leaving me to think. _

I realized in the last few minutes, everything had changed.

"Edward kissed me." I said out loud, hoping that it didn't sound as far-fetched as it seemed. I mean, of course I had thought about it – him kissing me, but I never dreamed it would actually happen.

"Edward, wait!" I shouted as I took off running in his direction. His scent was easy enough for me to pick up, and something inside of me swelled with hope once his form came into view. He stopped abruptly and slowly turned to face me. His face was set in anger. His brows pulled together while the muscle below his cheekbones repeatedly contracted and relaxed. Even his lips were set in a thin line.

"I'm sorry…I…your wrong." I sputtered stupidly.

"And just what am I wrong about?" He asked with his eyes affixed to the ground. I slowly approached him. He still refused to look at me even when I was only inches away from him.

"Edward, the kiss…it was—"

"A mistake." He blurted, cutting me off. "I realize it now."

My hands turned into fists at my side. "My God, you can be _so_ infuriating sometimes! Do you know that?"

His eyes flickered to mine in confusion, but it was all that I needed. Reaching up onto my tip toes, I threaded my arms around his neck and brought my lips to his. After all, sometimes action speaks louder than words. The rigid line that his lips were held in immediately relaxed.

"Bella." He sighed against my lips, sending an electric thrill throughout my body. His hands tenderly cupped my face as he kissed me; but then began to wander. Long white fingers trailed down my neck as his other hand pressed against the small of my back. He nipped playfully on my bottom lip before trailing light kisses along my jawline, leaving me gasping for unneeded air.

Things I didn't entirely understand began happening to my body. As a vampire, the outside temperature had little effect on me – until _now_ that is. I could swear that Forks, Washington must have spiraled into some freak heat-wave. I was on fire, and nearly panting like a dog in heat.

"What's wrong with me?" I muttered aloud. Edward's eyes snapped to my own. I was shocked to find his normally honey gaze a near pitch-black. His chest rose and fell as if he were out of breath as well.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, immediately regaining his usual composure.

I fanned myself with my hand. "Is it just me, or did it suddenly get really really hot?"

Edward regarded me with a curious expression before his mouth spread in a stunning smile.

"What?" I questioned, confused.

"You do realize that even though we are vampires, I am still a man and you are still a woman."

"Yes, of course." Way to go, Captain Obvious.

"I'm only guessing, so please correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you were…aroused." Edward's facial muscles were twitching wildly in his attempt to keep a straight face. I, meanwhile, was mortified.

"Oh." It was the only response I could muster. I felt like digging a hole in the ground and sticking my head in it. "Well this is _awkward_." I turned my back to him in embarrassment.

"Bella." He spun me back around and into his arms. "You have no reason to be ashamed of something that is absolutely normal."

"That's easy for you to say, Mr.-calm-cool-and-collected." I scoffed, poking my finger into his chest. He laughed in response, further deflating my ego.

"Do you not understand that you have the same effect on me?" His eyes shifted down and back up to mine. I glanced down to see the evidence of his "arousal" quite plainly.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, unable to peel my eyes away from his penis. Edward cleared his throat and awkwardly half turned to '_adjust'_ himself.

"I apologize. That was rather lewd of me." And now, he was back to the rigid, in more ways than one, stoic Edward that I was used to. His normal stance usually included his hands clasped behind his back in a very "Victorian gentleman" type of manner. The only variance in his posture was that his hands were now clasped _in front_ of him.

I chuckled to myself as I reached for his hands. His eyes noticeably bugged for an instant before he realized that I was _just_ reaching for his hand.

"Shall we go home?" I asked, fully realizing the significance of that one little phrase.

Edward squeezed my hand and nodded as we began a leisurely walk back towards the Cullen's home – _er_ – our home.

"What about your wig?" Edward suddenly turned to me and asked.

"Fuck! I keep forgetting that damned thing."

"Maybe that's a sign."

"No. I can't go back to school without it. It's too risky."

"Well that answers my next question. So I guess you do plan on going back to school?"

"Oh, I had forgotten about that. I was only going to—" I cut myself off abruptly, realizing I was milliseconds away from opening a big can of worms – something I was _not_ prepared to do. _Ever_.

"—To find out more about us. We figured that out. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I understand your need to protect your father. You had to find out for yourself whether or not we were a threat to him."

"Or anyone else in the town." I added. _Well that was easier than I expected_, I thought to myself.

"So what will you do now?" Edward asked, his gaze curiously darting between me and the ground.

"I don't know, I guess I should go back to Forks high school. I never got to finish it in Phoenix, after all." My answer made a broad smile appear on Edward's face. I was completely confused. "What did you think I was going to say?"

"I was afraid that you would leave. From what you've said, the only reason you were here was to make sure Charlie was safe. Now that you've done that, I didn't know if there was anything more that would hold you to this place."

Now it was my turn to smile. I had never seen this shy side of Edward; the side that skirts around issues. I immediately pounced on him, taking him by surprise as we both collided with the cool, packed earth. My actions were meant to be playful, but now that I was literally on top of him and our faces only inches apart, there was electricity in the air between us. I searched his honey gaze, hoping that I'd find his eyes as inviting as his lips.

Even in the short time that I had known Edward, I could see the invisible wall that he hid behind – like a thin plane of glass, projecting strength while deflecting emotion. I wanted to shatter it into a million pieces so that it could never be put back together.

"What are you thinking?" His voice was like pure velvet, and pressed up against him like I was, I could feel it reverberate in his chest creating almost a tickling sensation where our skin touched.

"That you should shut up and kiss me again." My eyes widened at my blatantly honest admission. Oh well, it got the point across. Edward tenderly threaded his fingers through my hair and brought my lips to his. The moment our lips touched the electricity in the air ignited.

Edward let the wall down, and it was magnificent. All conscious thought went out of my usually busy brain. My body moved in harmony with his. Before I knew it, he was on top of me, staring down at me – my arch angel sent from heaven.

"Bella." The way my name sounded rolling off his lips, his incredibly full lips, nearly made me come undone. It was his next statement though that was sobering. "We can't do this."

And like that, I literally and figuratively pulled myself into a ball. I heard his immediate sigh followed by a frustrated, albeit sexy, growl.

"What I meant is that I _want_ to do this, but not _like_ this. Not here in the forest. Not before we've had a chance to get to know each other better." I sat myself upright to regard him, feeling my eyebrows knot together in skepticism. _Really? It's the teenage guy preaching about morals? _Of course this was Edward we were talking about; the proper Victorian gentleman. I thought about asking him whether our dates would have to be chaperoned, but thought that might offend him.

"Okay, so are we going to…_date_?" I asked after processing things in my head. For a normal sixteen year old girl, it seemed like the natural choice. Then again, Edward wasn't the typical teen; he was a hundred and eight year old vampire, and I was a very young vampire in comparison. I wondered what it meant to "date". How would _who_ we are and _what_ we are change things?

"Yes, I suppose that would be a good idea." Edward answered with his typical devastating smirk.

"So how does this work?"

"Well." He began, and offered me my wig while clearing his throat several times. "At school we can socialize like normal high school couples do. I can escort you to your classes and join you during lunch and break times." The way he said it was as if he was going down a checklist of typical high school dating etiquette. Back in Phoenix this would include skipping classes to have unprotected sex in the back of his car.

"And at home?" I asked.

"Well, at home it's a bit tricky, especially with Jasper in the house. Nights would be better spent apart or at least far away from the house."

"What does Jasper have to do with anything? Will he give us a hard time?"

"No, but Emmett will _definitely_ give us a hard time. That's something else you will need to be prepared for, but back to Jasper. You've obviously seen, or rather felt, the effects of Jasper's ability." I nodded, remembering all too well the embarrassing scene that played out in front of the entire Cullen clan. "Well, there are times when he can't control his emotions. During these times, everyone in the house is subject to them. Usually, at night everyone in the house, apart from myself, is already engaging in these _activities_, so Jasper's added lust goes unnoticed." It was funny to see the switch that was flipped in Edward when he talked about uncomfortable subject matter. At once, his stance changed. His hands immediately folded behind his back while his voice took on a cadence from another time.

"In other words, when Jasper's having sex, everyone in the house feels his emotions." I reiterated.

"Yes."

"You know, you could have just said that."

"I realize that now, yes." He half-smiled in return.

"Oh man, that must suck for you, being in that house every night."

He shrugged in response, trying to remain casual. "You find distractions. And if it gets to be too much to handle, I usually go out for a walk or a quick hunting expedition."

"Well, you should come hang out with me in the cottage. It will give us more time to '_get to know each other_'." I liked the idea of having Edward with me all night, alone in the little cottage. Sure, the teenager in me with raging hormones had her share of ideas and fantasies, but I really just wanted to know everything there was to know about Edward Cullen – my _boyfriend_.


	15. Chapter 15

This chapter doesn't have anything too exciting going on, but I promise that will change in the next three chapters. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!

I wanted to share with you the reason why I can't seem to get these chapters written any faster. I've been sucked into an amazing story, which is really really long. I'm not kidding, each chapter is like 3-4 of mine. The fic is called _Immortal Beloved_, by _All About Eric_, and it's a True Blood/ Southern Vampire Mysteries fic. If you've read the Sookie Stackhouse books and liked them, then you will love this story. In my humble opinion, this story is better than the original. If you love you some Eric (and lets be honest, who doesn't?), than you'll_ love_ this fic!

Chapter 15

_Previously:_

_I liked the idea of having Edward with me all night, alone in the little cottage. Sure, the teenager in me with raging hormones had her share of ideas and fantasies, but I really just wanted to know everything there was to know about Edward Cullen – my_ boyfriend.

An entire week had passed blissfully by. Edward had charmed Mrs. Cope into changing his entire schedule so that we shared every class. Apart from the whispered conversations and the jealous glares that I received from the entire student body, school was great. Our declaration of coupledom had earned me a glorious bubble of personal space – which translated to a "zone of tolerance" for the newborn packed into a sardine can full of hormone-heightened walking blood bags. Even the ever-persistent Mike Newton had backed off.

While our newly announced relationship earned us freedom at school, it was the opposite at home. Jasper already knew. Actually, I think Jasper knew before even Edward and I did, given his little ability. Alice immediately sky rocketed into warp-speed and had already planned our wedding upon hearing the actual declaration. When Edward had first shared this tid-bit of information with me, I thought he was totally kidding and laughed my ass off. That was until I saw the look on his face. This was Alice we were talking about. Overzealous was an understatement. Besides, and I quote, she "_knew that we were destined to be together before I ever set foot in Fork's city limits_".

Emmett consistently made remarks about "consummating the relationship" and offered "pointers" to Edward on several occasions. I'd bet he sits in class all day scheming up new ways to humiliate us. Esme and Carlisle were of course thrilled, making me feel even more accepted into their tight-knit family.

The only person who didn't have something to say was Rosalie. I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, when she discovered I would be a permanent fixture in the family, she might open up or at least warm up to me. But she remained completely aloof, even going out of her way to avoid a conversation with me.

One thing that I was thankful for was that they all seemed to completely ignore my very childish breakdown in the woods. They welcomed me back into their home with no questions asked. Well, at least not about _that_. Alice, on the other hand, was full of questions, and required my answers have _details_. She felt the need to know everything that there was to know about me.

"Is she always like this with new people?" I asked Edward one day.

"Well, you have to think about it, Bella. It's not very often that we run across another vampire that shares our diet."

"So, you don't talk to vampires that feed from humans?" Now I'm all about the "save a human" campaign, but it kind of seemed rude to refuse to speak to someone just because of their diet. _Have I not taught you anything_, a familiar voice piped up in my head. Lily! It felt like forever since I'd heard her sweet voice chastising me.

"It's not that. It's just that most vampires that feed from humans are nomads. By their very nature they aren't social creatures. When we cross paths with one, which is a rare occurrence, they're more interested in their next meal than making small-talk."

"I guess that makes sense." I felt a shudder pass through me. I remember very keenly the last run-in I had with a nomad. It was the night I lost Lily. He was the most animalistic creature I had ever seen.

"Are you alright?" I felt Edward's warm hand grasp mine. Trying to avoid a conversation that I didn't want to have, I bit back the pain and gave him my best smile.

"Why do you do that?" He asked while looking at me with a confused expression.

"Do what?"

"You pretend like everything's alright when it's clearly not. Granted, I can't read your mind – which is really irritating at times like these, but I'm beginning to learn what each look of yours means. That strained smile you just tried to pass off as genuine tells me something is very wrong. Did I say something that hurt you?"

Dammit! How could he see through me so easily? My mind had been programmed to lie – to conceal that painful memory at all costs. Then again, for some reason that I couldn't explain, I felt the need to share this with Edward. I looked into his eyes, still troubled that he had caused me pain, and pushed all the air out of my lungs in preparation for what was to come.

"My best friend was killed by a nomad." Everything ran together, spilling out of my mouth with haste. Subconsciously, I thought that spitting it out as quickly as possible would lessen the blow of my own words. Somehow though, it didn't hurt like I thought it would.

In a heartbeat, I was wrapped up in Edward's protective arms.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered over and over as his fingers rubbed small comforting circles on my back. I sat folded in his arms, not because I needed the comfort, but because I wanted it – it felt good_; right_. "So that must have been Lily." It was a statement, not a question. Immediately, I recoiled from him.

"How did you know that?" The accusation flew out of my mouth with venom, _literally_. I felt like he had ripped my cherished memories of her right out of my head, against my will.

"In the woods, you spoke to her. There was obviously no one there besides you and I, and the wolf. I assumed you must be remembering someone, and that she must have been close to you." He sputtered his response, trying to re-gain lost ground.

"Or that I was crazy." I scoffed.

"Yes, or that." He chuckled and then sighed. "How long ago did it happen, if you don't mind me asking?" Edward kept his voice low and his tone gentle. My eyes flickered to his and found only concern and warmth.

"Thirty-eight days, four hours, and twelve minutes ago." I answered, biting back the venom that pooled in my throat. Edward gasped at my response and his hands reached out to me before instantly recoiling.

"I didn't realize it was so recent." I nodded in reply. "Then you knew her after you had been turned."

"Yes. She was the one who saved me." I chuckled darkly. "Well, she saved me from being drained, at least. But every day after that, she tried to save me from what I had become. Tried to show me that I didn't have to become a monster."

I could see Edward's brain working, trying to decipher the meaning behind my words.

"But I thought you said you had never met another vampire before." He couldn't hide the hint of pain in his eyes at the realization that I had lied to him.

"It wasn't an outright lie. Your family was the first full vampires that I had ever come into close contact with. Lily and I were careful to avoid contact with them unless it was absolutely necessary."

"I'm afraid I still don't understand. You said "full vampires"?"

Had he never met a half-breed before? "Yes, as in vampires that were turned rather than half-breeds that are born."

"Excuse me?" He stuttered. "Wait, are you telling me that there are human-vampire hybrids out there? That it is capable for humans and vampires to mate and create a viable offspring?" He brought his hand to his brow, as if shielding his eyes from the light. His eyes darted around the room frantically as he paced back and forth. It he kept that up for long, he'd wear right through the varnish.

"You've never come across a half-breed?"

"No." He muttered, his other hand running through his tousled bronze locks. "I need to talk to Carlisle."

"Okay?"

He suddenly turned to me, grasping my forearms and looking intently into my eyes.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Bella. And I assure you, we will discuss this later, if you wish. I apologize for my reaction, but you've just told me something that changes the whole of our existence. I never dreamed that anything like this would be capable." In a split second, his emotions had shifted shock and disbelief to elation. In retrospect, I guess it would be something like a scientist finally discovering the missing equation to their life's work. Before releasing me, Edward's lips collided with mine in one intense, though brief kiss. He was gone, leaving me alone in his room, but not for long.

"What the hell just happened?" Jasper appeared in the doorway, a strange look on his face. I guess no body knocks in this family.

"I don't exactly know." I confessed.

"Well there was a whirl-wind of emotion going on in here, and then Edward jets out of the house without a word. Did you two have a fight?"

"No. We were just talking and I said something that surprised him."

"Well I definitely got surprise, and incredulity, and a whole lot else I don't rightly understand." Jasper leaned up against the door jam, and I got the feeling he wasn't letting this go without a suitable explanation.

"Look, if you're wondering where he went, he said something about needing to talk to Carlisle."

"Yeah, I heard that part." Wow, I was actually astonished that he wasn't listening to our whole conversation. He was obviously within ear-shot. "Edward wouldn't bother Carlisle at work unless it was very important."

"Well I didn't think it was such a big deal, but Edward totally flipped out about it. He didn't know about the half-breeds." Jasper's eyes noticeably bug, but he quickly recovers.

"I get the feeling we aren't talkin' about flowers here."

"No, we're talkin' about half-human half-vampire hybrids." I couldn't help but mimic Jasper's accent, it was actually quite endearing.

"What the _fuck_?" See, Jasper was much more to the point with his words. His brother could learn a lesson or two from him.

"So I guess none of you knew about them."

He chuckled without humor. "No, I can guarantee that. Well now what Edward was feelin' makes perfect sense. He's probably totally mind-fucked right now. Carlisle'd shit his pants if he still could."

Now it was my turn to laugh. I'd never heard Jasper cuss before, probably because Esme was always around. She had taken the girls out shopping while I had happily declined.

"Son of a bitch! Mother fucking…" I heard Emmett yell from downstairs. He was playing a video game, pretty much the only thing he does when not hunting or with Rosalie. It looked like everyone let their hair down a little while Esme was out.

Edward was back in a little over an hour. He and Carlisle took the first "lunch break" in the history of Carlisle's long profession to discuss my recent atom bomb of information. Turns out, there _was_ a legend of a half-human, half-vampire creature. Straight from Balkan folklore, the creature was known as the Dhampir; the child of a vampire father and a human mother. Carlisle was familiar with the legend, but had dismissed it as a case of infidelity explained away with a supernatural excuse. The supernatural was often used as a scapegoat, Edward explained, and was often used as a cover-up for indiscretions or to explain things people simply didn't understand. He also mentioned that we would have to make a trip to Alaska soon, so that I could meet a few real-life legends.

I had no idea what he was talking about, and made a mental note to ask Alice when she got back. Since she was forthright in asking some many questions of her own, I hoped that she would be willing to answer a few of mine.

Speaking of questions, Edward was now full of them. He wanted to know every minute detail about Lily, but was also hesitant to stir up painful memories for me. I could see his mind racing with ideas, each one spurring more and more questions for me. He tried to maintain some semblance of outward composure, but his eyes were always his give-away. I hesitantly agreed to tell him the story of my awakening and my time with Lily from that point on. He would get the details that he needed about hybrids, while I would hopefully get a major load off my chest. Humans were always encouraged to speak their mind – to let people know what was troubling them. So why should it be any different for vampires? I hoped that by sharing my painful story with Edward, it might lessen my burden some. As I pondered all of this, I found my mind oddly silent. I was about to share pieces of Lily with someone else; someone, for all intents and purposes, that Lily didn't much seem to care for. I was surprised that my usually very opinionated friend didn't have something to say about it. Maybe her silence was her acceptance – her _permission_. At least, that was what I told myself.

When the rest of the household retired to their "evening activities", Edward and I retired to the cottage to tell the tale of Lily. We walked hand in hand as he rubbed small circles in the palm of my hand while his mind ran rampant. This was another thing that I had picked up about Edward; when he was deep in thought, his hands were never idle. They were running through his hair, pinching the bridge of his nose, or idly comforting me.

When we arrived at the door to the cottage, he turned to me. "Thank you for sharing this with me, Bella. I promise not to pry, and please only tell me what you are comfortable sharing."

With his hand still placed in mine, I open the door and pulled him through. It was going to be a long night.


	16. Chapter 16

_Hey guys, I made a banner for this story. If you'd like to see it, check out my profile page. Another "character" might be added to it soon, but I'll wait until they are introduced in the story.  
_

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_When we arrived at the door to the cottage, he turned to me. "Thank you for sharing this with me, Bella. I promise not to pry, and please only tell me what you are comfortable sharing."_

_With his hand still placed in mine, I open the door and pulled him through. It was going to be a long night. _

Chapter 16

I told him everything. Well not _quite_ everything, but at least the things that I thought he'd want to know. I shared with him everything that Lily had told me about her life and her upbringing. I told him about Lily's father, Christophe, and about her brother Thomas who 'wasn't quite right'. I could see that he was filing away all this information to digest later. Carlisle would be getting an ear-full, I was sure.

He would interject here and there, asking me to elaborate on certain things, and pulling me into his arms when he sensed my pain. I had thought that sharing every detail of my painful short second-life would be just that; painful. Reliving even the happy moments would drive home the fact that there wouldn't be any more of those – at least not where Lily was concerned.

I had thought that sharing her life with Edward would feel like a travesty, like I would be divulging secrets that should never be shared. But instead, it just felt _right_, like _everything_ seemed to feel with Edward.

I even told him about the nomad in the clearing; how he had seemed so familiar even though I hadn't consciously made the connection. I only realized after the fact that he was the one who killed Lily. Edward said that my reaction made sense – that my hatred for him must have been so visceral that it subconsciously drove me to attack.

"Do you really think that the red-head will come back? That she'll try to avenge his death?" I asked hesitantly, fearing his answer.

"Yes, I do. Normally when I look into someone's mind, it's easy to decipher their thoughts. And before the attack, I could easily read her. She was perturbed by her mate's interest in you. But afterwards, her mind was filled with a red haze; her thoughts were vicious and primal. I hoped that the olive-skinned vampire would calm her. He was definitely the most-rational of the trio. Regardless, if when she does come back, we'll be prepared. In the meanwhile, I'm not letting you out of my sight." He smiled up at me with a devilish grin.

"Oh really?" I hedged.

"Yes, really." He replied, pulling me down with him onto the couch. "You're stuck with me."

"I guess I'll manage." I said with a sigh. He laughed at my response. With a quick kiss, I extricated myself from his hold and smoothed out my clothes. A new day had started in Forks, and it was time for Abigail Winters to get ready for school.

"And just where are you going?" Edward asked me with his eyebrow raised.

"To take a shower. It's time to get ready for school. Care to join me?" And that was the point where Edward unceremoniously slid off the couch to land on the hardwood floor with a loud thud.

I couldn't help but laugh at his stunned expression. Not the mention the fact that I _vampire_ just fell on the floor. So much for lightning fast reflexes. Once he recovered from the shock of the fall, he nodded his head emphatically.

"I was kidding, Edward. After all, you were the one spouting off about how we need to get to know each other better."

Now a devilish smirk appeared on his face as he shot up from the floor and began stalking towards me.

"Don't you see? I would be getting to know you better." He replied, gently caressing the length of skin from my temple to my collarbone, his eyes trained only on my exposed flesh. My breath hitched in my throat and a strange heat began to build in the pit of my stomach. "I would come to know every inch of you." Standing behind me, he swept my hair aside to whisper in my ear. "_Intimately_."

I turned towards him, my lips seeking his of their own accord. His hands were instantly on me. Roaming. Exploring. I kissed him without holding back, completely taken over by my own primal urges. The heat in the pit of my stomach ignited – making my skin feel flush. Edward left a trail of fire with every touch.

The moment I came up for air, my head cleared from the lustful haze. I staggered backwards, putting distance between Edward and I.

"I can't do this." Now it was my turn to throw on the brakes. Edward's brow furrowed in disappointment, but only for a brief moment before his face was washed away of all emotion.

"I'm sorry, I intended for my words to merely be playful; a counter-play to your initial comment." Edward was back to his rigid, Victorian self. I was beginning to realize that this was some type of reflex for him – his way of dealing with difficult situations. He would lapse back into this person he used to be; the human Edward.

I snorted. "Well your words were a little bit more than "playful". Okay, I really do need to shower, so we should get going back to the main house." He nodded and extended his hand to me. It's amazing how that small little gesture carried so much weight to me; even more so than the hormonal make-out session we just shared. If I were human, my heart would be thudding against my ribcage, and my cheeks a flushed pink as I placed my hand in his.

There was an awkward silence on the way back to the main house. I could tell that Edward was trying to think of something to say, but was over-analyzing it.

He suddenly sighed in frustration, catching my attention. "Alice is waiting to play dress-up with you. I suggest you take a longer than normal shower."

"Ugh. She's not one to take a hint."

"Have you met her? She's not one to take an outright refusal." He chuckled.

"Okay, long shower it is. We'll see how avoidance works."

"She's a persistent little imp." Edward warned.

"Of course I am." A tinkling voice replied to my right. _And fast too_, I added silently. "Come on Bella, you haven't left me with much time to get you ready for school. We'll need to be there in forty-five minutes."

"Alice, you realize I can dress myself. I've done it for over fourteen years now." She glanced down at my clothes with a look of disdain.

"No sweetie, obviously you can't. But don't worry, you now have the best teacher there is." She beamed up at me as I suppressed an eye roll. "Okay, no more talking. We're wasting valuable time. Get into the shower and make it snappy. The extra-long-shower bit won't work on me. So don't bother even trying."

I hung my head in defeat. There was no getting around the psychic, not even with a mind reader on my side. I took a thorough but quick shower and reluctantly took my place in front of the large counter-top cluttered with all kinds of torture devices. Never before had I been subjected to eye-lash curlers and hot irons. It seemed like an awful lot of work for minimal results.

"We'll have just enough time to get to school if we leave right now." Alice hauled me out of her parlor chair and down the stairway. Even without looking, I could feel the heat of his gaze on me. I stole a glance in his direction. Yup, confirmed. His gaze was so intent, I had to look away.

I was thankful when Alice pulled me into the backseat with her. Edward eased himself into the driver's seat and Jasper took shotgun. Rose and Emmett would be taking Emmett's jeep to school. The funny thing about that was that Rose would be the one driving. Well, I guess it's not so strange when you think about it – after all Barbie _did_ have a jeep.

The ride to school was…_tense_. Alice would giggle under her breath and Edward's grip on the steering wheel would tighten. Even Jasper seemed off, always fidgeting in his seat. By the time I could see the school come into view, I was getting tired of it. I distinctly felt that I was the butt of some inside joke, and the strained silence was driving me crazy.

"Okay, out with it, all of you. What's going on?"

"It's about goddamn time." Jasper muttered.

"I'm sorry, Bella—er I mean Abby. It's just that Edward here is having a hard time paying attention to the road. He finds you a little more than distracting." She giggled again. "I just knew that shirt was the perfect color for your complexion. Which reminds me…" She dug in her purse and produced a small case. "Contacts." I hastily put them in, blinking furiously as the thin colored discs occluded my vision.

"See you at lunch B—Abby. I have to work on that." Alice chirped before taking Jasper's hand and disappearing into the school.

Edward was Mr. Rigged again. I could see the muscle tick at his jawline.

"Edward, would you please relax?" At my request, his shoulders slacked a bit, but I could still tell how tightly wound he was.

"I'm sorry, this is just all so knew to me. It's a bit…_overwhelming_." He tried on a strained smile, and I reached up to kiss the corner of his mouth. Frowning, I used the back of my sleeve to wipe the lipstick off his face.

"I'm not going to get used to this." I grumbled. Edward laughed in response, taking my hand in his.

"You do look good, Abby. But then again, you always do. Alice was right about that shade of blue though."

"Err—_thanks_." I squeaked, still not used to taking a compliment. Edward squeezed my hand and it was off to first period.

This was one of those time where I wished I didn't have vampire hearing. High school is a cruel cruel place. The dirty looks I could handle, but the snide remarks stung. Alice's makeover did not go unnoticed. And in typical teenage-girl fashion, I was now officially enemy number one.

Edward had it even worse than I did; I only heard their hushed comments while he heard their thoughts. He splintered the desk in Biology after hearing a particularly lewd thought. The entire day, he hovered over me protectively, practically growling at anyone who got too close. When Alice approached us in Study Hall, the whole mood suddenly changed.

"Oh thank God, Alice." He visibly relaxed into his chair with that statement.

"What's going on?" I looked back and forth between them.

"Road trip." That was Alice's only reply. _Oh great, that totally cleared things up_.

"Okay, where are we going? Wait, it's the middle of the week."

"The forecast according to _moi_, calls for sunny days for the remainder of the week and into the weekend." Alice announced in her best weather-forecaster impression.

"Alright, I still don't get how that translates into a road trip?"

"Abby, we light up like disco balls in the sun. We can't go to school and risk that. So on the few days that it's sunny, Carlisle excuses us from school. We usually go hunting, or just hang out around the house, but Edward made a comment recently that got me thinking."

"Are you sure this is the best time, Alice? You know how they can be a bit…intimidating." Edward interjected, but Alice simply waved him off.

"Oh please, our little _Be_—Abby isn't one to crumble under intimidation. I mean look what she did to that nomad." Oh no, this didn't sound good, not at all. I felt myself shrink back into my chair.

"Alice, I'm telling you, I don't think it's a good idea." Edward hissed.

"Well I'm sorry, Edward. It's already been arranged, and the Denali's are so excited. We can't back out now, it would be rude." Alice huffed, and put on the biggest pout as she plopped back into her chair.

"Alice." Edward's voice was a mixture of imploring and apologetic. "Have you seen that this will go well?" My eyes locked on Alice to see her eyes glaze over momentarily. It was still an odd thing to see. It was a vacant "no one's home" look.

Alice snapped back. "From what I see, as long as she's open-minded, it will go splendidly." She announced with her chin held high.

"I hope you're right, Alice."

Okay, enough of this cryptic talk, I had to know what was going on here before my head exploded. And as if Edward was reading my mind – which I still really worried about – he turned to me and sighed before diving into his explanation.

"Do you remember when I told you about the real-life succubi?" I nodded. "Well, it seems as though you will be meeting them a little sooner than expected."

"Wait, you're telling me that you currently know vampires that have…_sex_ with men and …_eat_ them?"

Bless his heart for trying, but Edward couldn't keep a straight face.

"They have since reformed, but yes, that was their former lifestyle. We lovingly refer to the Denali sisters as our cousins, because they are the only other coven that we know of that share our diet. They live in Denali Alaska."

"Oh." It was all I could manage at the time.

"Alice." Edward interrupted Alice as she opened her mouth to say something. His tone was a warning, but in typical Alice fashion, she ignored it.

"She should know this up-front, Edward." Alice then turned to me. "You should know that one of the sisters has a bit of a crush on Edward." Edward sighed heavily and rolled his eyes.

"Oh." Boy, I was a real conversationalist today. I chanced a quick glance at Edward, knowing his eyes were locked on me, waiting for _something_.

"You have nothing to worry about." Edward tried to reassure me, reaching to take my hand across the table. I didn't refuse it, but I still didn't feel very reassured.

I needed to talk to Alice…_alone_. I had to find out all I could about this _sister_.

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So how is our little Bella going to react to Tanya? I guess we'll find out in the next chapter.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

_Previously:_

"_She should know this up-front, Edward." Alice then turned to me. "You should know that one of the sisters has a bit of a crush on Edward." Edward sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. _

"_Oh." Boy, I was a real conversationalist today. I chanced a quick glance at Edward, knowing his eyes were locked on me, waiting for something._

"_You have nothing to worry about." Edward tried to reassure me, reaching to take my hand across the table. I didn't refuse it, but I still didn't feel very reassured._

_I needed to talk to Alice…alone. I had to find out all I could about this _sister_._

I stared out the window as the scenery blurred past us. We were halfway to our destination; Denali Alaska. I had managed to corner Alice for a conversation about what I should expect from this vampire who had a thing for Edward. Unfortunately, she hadn't told me anything to ease my fears. In fact, if anything I was more hesitant.

"_Alice, tell me everything you know about her." I had managed to pull her away from packing for a quick hunt, just the two of us. _

"_Well, first off, her name is Tanya, and she's very old." The way she said "old" I didn't get the feeling she was shuffling around behind a walker._

"_How old is she?" _

"_She's older than Carlisle, but beyond that, I'm not sure. I don't even think she's sure."_

"_Great, so she's 'experienced'. I bet she's probably drop-dead gorgeous too." I huffed, launching myself across the river that runs through the Cullen's property._

"_Well she's pretty if you like that type, which Edward obviously doesn't. She's definitely been around the block a few times. She has some wild stories to tell." Alice shook her head as if shaking off a memory. I halted in my tracks. I hadn't even thought of that. The succubae; she was a freaking sex goddess! My competition for Edward was an experienced vampire with a talent for luring men to her bed. And I didn't buy Alice's abbreviated description of 'Tanya'. _

"_Pretend you're Emmett and tell me what she looks like. I want to truth here. No sugar-coating it." I gave her the 'I mean it' look. Alice rolled her shoulders and her face took on a very Emmett-like look._

"_She's pretty hot. Smoking body, nice tits and ass. Strawberry blonde hair and a mouth that's made for…" She trailed off, wagging her eyebrows suggestively. "But she's nothing compared to my Rosiekins." Alice added for effect. I would have been laughing my ass off at her spot-on impression of Emmett —the gestures and mannerisms were flawless. Unfortunately, I was more interested in what she had to say rather than how she said it._

_I had made up my mind. "I'm not going." I sounded pathetic, but I didn't care at that point. _

_Alice giggled. "Come on silly, you have to go. The Denali's are practically family. Sure, it might be a little bit awkward at first, but everything will work out."_

"_So you've seen that things are going to be awkward at first?"_

"_Well, they will be surprised. They weren't expecting a new addition to the family."_

"_Wait. You haven't told them about me, Alice?" I could hear the frantic edge in my voice. _

_Alice smiled in return, her little cherubic face just beamed. "You'll be a surprise! Everyone loves surprises!" She hopped up and down with that same half-crazed smile on her face. Her excitement wasn't contagious. How could this possibly seem like a good idea in that little fairy head of hers?_

_I looked at her with outrage. "No, Alice. I don't like surprises." _

_Her face crumpled, and I instantly felt terrible. I wasn't thinking about things from her point of view. Surprises were a novelty for Alice. She always knew what was coming. Maybe planning surprises for others was her way of living vicariously. Either way, bringing a surprise house guest usually isn't a welcome thing; especially when the house guest is now dating your would-be boyfriend. I couldn't help the thrill of excitement that went down my spine at the thought. The most amazing person in existence was _my_ boyfriend. It still seemed surreal. I wasn't here to reaffirm my feelings for Edward, I was here for information about 'Tanya'._

_I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I'm sorry, Alice. Just, don't you think that a little heads up might be nice for them? Especially if Tanya is…has a thing for Edward. Don't you think she might view me as a slap in the face? That's definitely not how I want to start off our relationship."_

"_Edward's refused her a thousand times. She just can't get it through her thick skull, but I guess you do have a point." She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then her usual smile reappeared on her face. "No biggie, Bella. I'll call and let them know you're coming." She agreed. "Now I thought we were supposed to be hunting?" She quirked her eyebrow as she eyed me._

"_Well, I guess I could use a top-off before we go, but I really just wanted to—"_

"_Have some girl talk out of earshot of everyone else?" She finished my sentence with a knowing smirk._

"_Yeah." I conceded._

"_Well why didn't you just say so?" Alice beamed. "I love girl talk! Besides, the hunting is great in Denali. They have a much larger selection: elk, moose, and a bigger variety of bears than we have here. I suggest we wait to hunt till we get there." _

"You've been quiet." Edward interrupted my musings.

"Just thinking." I replied with a sigh.

"Worrying, from the look on your face." I turned towards him then, he was staring directly at me, even though he was driving at speeds that exceeded one hundred miles per hour. That was something that I needed to get used to. Heck, maybe it was time I learned how to drive. "What's on your mind?" Edward spoke again, drawing me back to reality.

"That must not be a question you're used to asking?" Maybe I could change the subject. I didn't really want to discuss my inferiority complex in front of Carlisle and Esme, whom we were currently sharing a car with. Alice, Rose, and the others had taken Carlisle's black Mercedes. Right now I really wanted to be in the "fun car", as Emmett had dubbed it, instead of talking about feelings.

"No, it's definitely a change of pace, but a welcome one. At first it was utterly infuriating, but now it's more intriguing than anything else. I'm afraid I had lost the art of reading facial expressions and subtle body language."

"Well, you seem to be doing just fine." I begrudgingly admitted.

"You realize you have nothing to be worried about. The Denali's, while eccentric, are good people. They will welcome you with open arms." Carlisle and Esme murmured their agreement with Edward. The problem was, I still didn't feel any better. I guess there was nothing left to do but wait and see.

It was surprising how quickly you could arrive at your destination – some one thousand miles away – when you traveled at speeds in excess of one hundred miles an hour. The only things that slowed our pace were fuel stops and checkpoints. Apparently, at some point unbeknownst to me, the Cullens had acquired a passport for me. They seemed to think of everything.

My nerves were nearly frazzled by the time we approached the winding, snow-covered drive that led to the rustic house inhabited by five unknown vampires.

The car came to a halt, followed closely by Carlisle's black Mercedes behind us. In a blur of motion, Emmett was at the door, jabbing the doorbell repeatedly. Rosalie and Jasper casually strolled up the walkway behind him.

Alice had come around to my side of the vehicle and cracked my door.

"Wait here until everyone else goes in. You'll hide behind Edward." I looked at her incredulously.

"I thought you were supposed to tell them about me!" I hissed under my breath.

"Opps." She squeaked with a knowing look. The damned pixy had thrown me to the wolves.

Besides, the car door was open. They'll know I'm here soon enough. We were all vampire's after all, I'd have to be sealed in an air-tight soundless bag to surprise them. Begrudgingly, I followed Alice's request and tucked myself behind Edward's back (let's be honest, it was a nice place to be), matching his steps as he walked toward the doorway.

I heard two female's voices. The first was high and friendly, and the second was deeper – more sultry. _That's probably Tanya, aka the 'sex goddess', _I thought to myself_. _In addition to the glorious aroma de'Edward, new scents were also bombarding me. There was the purely earthen, untampered smell of the woods that surrounded the Denali's home. Even on the secluded grounds of the Cullen home, the smells of the nearby town and even the far off industrial Seattle filtered into the air. Here everything was wild and untouched, just as nature intended it. It was truly invigorating. This was what air was supposed to smell like.

But the crisp night air also carried the scent of many new vampires. My body reacted on its own accord to these new scents. My senses heightened and my skin prickled. To my own horror, my body was preparing to attack. Suddenly, I felt trapped inside myself.

"Edward, help!" I squeaked, from behind his back. Suddenly, I was staring at another pair of golden eyes.

"Jasper." I gasped. He grabbed my arm, lacing it through his own and tucking me into his side. Edward took up my other side, lacing his fingers in between mine. Outwardly, I would appear like the luckiest girl in the world, perched on the arms of two very handsome vampires. However, I knew their reasoning. They were there to restrain me if the need arose.

I tried to clear my mind of the haze that seemed to be overtaking me _—_ tried to focus all of my brain power on ascending each stone step, one by one.

"And who is this?" I heard the sensual voice say. My eyes flickered to hers, and everything went black.

The first thing I sensed when I was back "on board" was the smell of wood burning. My eyes shot open to see the natural pine roof of what I guessed to be the Denali house. I instantly spun to an upright position, crouched on the balls of my feet…right in the middle of their couch.

_Oh, I bet I made one hell of a first impression._ _Okay, try to gain some semblance of composure and sit like a normal person._ I listened to my inner voice of reason and slowly slid into a sitting position, trying not to cower underneath the intense glares of my new family.

I looked around me, and there weren't any new faces, to my surprise.

"What just happened?" I asked, bewildered.

"It appears as though you blacked out." Carlisle said in a very doctorly fashion. _Well, no shit. Tell me something I didn't know_, I couldn't help but think.

"Again." Edward added. "But this time you didn't kill anyone." I breathed a sigh of relief and hung my head in my hands.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" I muttered. The question was more rhetorical, but I got an answer, none the less.

"It seems that part of your conscious mind shuts down and your fight or flight instinct takes over. I've never seen anything like it in all my years of study, not in vampires at least. It appears to be some kind of defense mechanism, triggered by intense situations. I'm very curious to see what Eleazar has to say."

Great, let a complete stranger take a crack at what type of crazy I am. "They all must think I'm a freak. I'm sure a made a great first impression. Surprise, we brought a crazed newborn with us." I threw my hands up in feigned enthusiasm and my eyes narrowed on Alice. In the back of my mind, I knew this wasn't her fault, but her little surprise didn't help matters either.

Alice cowered into the side of Jasper and mouthed a pitiful "sorry". Jasper's eyes caught mine, and he stared at me intently. Before I realized it, my mood had changed.

"So where are the rest of them? Let's get this over with." I felt suddenly confident and it dawned on me.

"Nice, Jasper."

He smirked. "I had to make sure that I still had an effect on you. Back there, no matter how much I hit you with, it just bounced right off you. I felt powerless."

"So did I try to claw her eyes out, or what?" Emmett and Jasper laughed. I didn't know whether that was a good thing, or a bad thing.

Emmett was the first to speak. "There was lots of growling and venom slinging, but Eddie and Jaz managed to hold you back from Tanya and Kate."

I hung my head in my hands, wanting more than anything to curl into a ball and shut out the world.

"Bella, we all remember what it was like to be a newborn. You are ruled by your urges, and I think when it comes down to it, that's what happened to you a few minutes ago. You can't blame yourself, and the Denalis understand. They are all eager to meet you." Edward placed one hand on my shoulder and lifted my chin with one finger.

"I'm ready." I confessed looking into his eyes. He smiled and offered me his hand to stand.

"You know, I think I feel more comfortable on the couch, but please sit with me. You know, in case I go all psycho again." Edward nodded and settled himself next to me on the couch, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Everyone except for Rosalie pulled in closer to me. I felt Esme's comforting hand on my shoulder and looked up to her reassuring smile.

Rosalie exited the room and moments later, returned with several new faces behind her. The first three, I hadn't seen. There was a man and woman with slightly olive-toned skin. Their scent was spicy, each complimenting the other. I tried to place the scent, but couldn't remember the names. The pair both smiled warmly at me, seeming unconcerned about my earlier display.

The woman immediately came to stand in front of me and extended her hand towards me. I took it hesitantly, not trusting myself, but smiled in return when I realized that I wasn't going to attack her. She had dark brown, almost black hair that framed her face in delicate waves.

"My name is Carmen, welcome to our home." She too had a mothering quality like Esme, and I could tell that her enthusiasm was genuine. I immediately liked her.

"Hi, I'm Bella. I—I'm really sorry about—" She waved me off before I could finish my apology.

"Think nothing of it." She turned to the man on her left and smiled warmly. "This is mi esposo, Eleazar."

The man gave a curt little bow and stepped forward. So this was the vampire shrink. I was curious as to what his diagnosis would be. He was dark haired like the woman, with high cheek bones and a strong jaw.

"Hello, Eleazar." I was getting better at this.

"Ah, Bella, it is my pleasure to meet you." And with another small bow of his head, he stepped backwards, allowing the pale blonde to step forward. Her hair was almost white; it was such a pale shade of blonde. It hung in sheets to the middle of her back. Her face looked kind even though her features were quite angular.

"And I am Irina." Again, she clasped hands with me, but there was a warmth that was missing from this one. I looked into her topaz eyes to find emptiness within them. She released my hand and turned towards the doorway.

Hesitantly, I followed her gaze to see two pairs of golden eyes looking warily in my direction. The first had nearly the same hair as Irina, and I knew this must be Kate. At least she was smiling. She bounced into the room, but still kept a safe distance from me.

She waved her hand. "I'm—"

"Kate." I finished. "Sorry about earlier, Kate. I don't know what got into me."

"Don't mention it. You livened up the evening!" She laughed. I tried a little chuckle, but was still too mortified. Maybe I would be able to laugh at this later, _years_ later. Besides, the sex goddess was sauntering in my direction now. I swallowed back the venom that began to pool in my mouth and sank back into the couch. Edward tightened his grip around my shoulders.

"Hello Bella, I'm Tanya. I don't believe we were introduced properly earlier." She smiled a sly cat-like smile. Alice was right, she even gave Rosalie a run for her money in the looks department. Instead of the phrase '_sex on wheels_' she was sex in heels – peep toe heels. She wore a tight-fitting rose colored dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. My competition was every man's wet dream. I stared at her in horror. Edward pulled me a little tighter against his side, which didn't seem to go unnoticed by Tanya.

"Welcome to the family, Bella. It seems you've already won a few hearts."


	18. Chapter 18

**Please note that this stor****y's rating has just been upgraded to M for sexual content for this chapter and those to come. I hadn't really planned this chapter to go this direction, but eh, it happened. This chapter was supposed to be mainly about Bella and Tanya, but I guess that will have to wait till the next chapter.**

**I apologize for the delay in updating, but I had a difficult time writing this chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy it. =)**

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Chapter 18

_Previously:_

"_Hello, Bella. I'm Tanya. I don't believe we were properly introduced earlier." She smiled a sly, cat-like smile. Alice was right. She even gave Rosalie a run for her money in the looks department. Instead of the phrase 'sex on wheels' she was sex in heels – peep toe heels. She wore a tight-fitting rose colored dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. My competition was every man's wet dream. I stared at her in horror. Edward pulled me a little tighter against his side, which didn't seem to go unnoticed by Tanya._

"_Welcome to the family, Bella. It seems you've already won a few hearts." _

_._

Venom pooled in my mouth, my muscles tensed beneath my skin. Jasper's hand appeared on my shoulder, subtly pushing me into the couch. His touch was a warning, and I was sure he was probably hitting me with all the juice he had, but I felt nothing. Nothing but fear—I was afraid of myself, of what I was capable of doing.

Tanya's eyes widened, and she took a step back. I clamped my eyes shut, wanting nothing more than to wish this all away, but it was no use. My senses were heightened to her presence, her smell, her _fear_. I felt as though I could lose myself to the blackness at any moment, and I was terrified.

"Take me outside," I forced out through clenched teeth, with my eyes still tightly shut. I could feel Edward's hold on me shift, and soon he was cradling me against his chest and whisking me outside into the crisp, open air.

I let out a long sigh, finally opening my eyes as me feet touched the fresh snow. Edward kept an arm gripped firmly around my shoulders.

"Are you all right?" Edward asked, eying me with concern.

"Yeah, I think so." _All except for my pride_.

The door opened behind us and Jasper slipped out the door. "You did better that time, Bella. You stayed in control. Well done."

I chuckled under my breath. "Well done? I was _so close_ to blacking out again. Who knows what I would have done." I wrap my arms around my center, trying to hold myself together. I realize I'm in danger of falling apart—of becoming an unstable mess of emotions and instincts.

"Bella, do you feel threatened or uneasy in Eleazar's presence?" Edward asked, angling his body slightly to face me without letting me go.

"No," I replied with consternation. _It was only Tanya who set me off_.The realization of that information struck a chord deep within me. I felt threatened. I blindly attacked. Both Tanya and the vampire in the clearing threatened me in some way. That was the only common denominator. Though with one I feared for my life and the other … I feared she would separate me from the only person who seemed to hold me together.

No, they _were _both the same. The vampire in the clearing had separated me from the only person who held me together—Lily. Now, Tanya posed that same threat. Sure, there were difference between the two situations, but inherently, the both amounted to me being left alone.

Edward gestured to Jasper who disappeared into the house and returned with Eleazar by his side. Eleazar approached with noticeable caution, but with a kind smile on his face.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to go all psycho newborn on you." To my surprise, Eleazar walked right up to me, stopping a mere six inches in front of me. He extended his hand towards me, and after a moment's hesitation, I took it.

Eleazar let out a ragged exhale and his eyes focused with intensity on my own. _What the hell is this guy doing?_ A moment later, his eyebrows popped up in surprise and he released my hand, backing away.

He eyed the three of us, making sure he had our attention. "She is a shield. That is for certain," he chuckled. "I was unable to read her even with physical contact. Edward, is it the same for you?"

Edward nodded his head.

"Can you tell us about her reaction in there?" Jasper questioned.

"Jasper, I thought you, most of all, would understand her reaction."

I immediately looked to Jasper, but he seemed just as confused as I was.

"She is a newborn, who, all things considered, has shown remarkable self-control. I'm sure the restraint—the denial of what she is— comes with a price."

I took a moment to digest his words while Edward and Jasper nodded in silent agreement. There immediate understanding of Eleazar's explanation gave me pause. "Wait a second. Haven't we all been in the same boat here, feeding from animals instead of humans? What makes my experiences so different from yours?"

Edward turned me in his arms to face him, looking intently into my eyes. "Bella, in the little time I have known you, you have resisted almost everything that makes you, you. Rarely do you ever break from the human façade, even when we are alone. Not to mention that you've been thrust into society quite early in this life. The restraint it takes to deny what you are—every moment of every day—it has to be mentally, emotionally, and physically draining." His eyebrows rose, waiting for my response to his words.

I remained quiet for quite some time—a century in vampire terms—as we aren't the most patient creatures.

I had followed Lily's advice without question, fearing the consequences if I didn't. Not from her retribution, but from the result of the damage I knew I was capable of. I saw the regret in Lily's eyes over the life that she led—over killing her own mother. She hated herself for what she had done, and I didn't want to be something she could hate. She was all I had in the world, and pleasing her became my primary goal. She was my only reference-point, my North Star in a sea of unfamiliarity. I had never thought of the consequence of denying my instincts—of suppressing my very nature. What other option did I have? Was I expected to give into my baser instincts and live with the unbearable burden of regret? I didn't see where there was any other option than to live this life the way I had for the last four months, trying to avoid all the negatives of the life I was given. I hadn't chosen this course, it was chosen for me, and I'd be damned if I didn't make the best of it.

"Yeah. Of course it is, but it's not like I have a choice?" I looked to the three honey-eyed vampires that surrounded me.

After three extremely long seconds, Jasper was the first to break the silence. "I would suggest you stay in Denali. The seclusion and the plentiful wildlife here would provide ample opportunities to give yourself over to who you are."

"Give myself over? To _who_? To _what_? I don't want to be the psycho … _vampire_ you saw a few minutes ago. That's not me, _vampire_ or not. I'm afraid if I lose control, I'll lose control of _everything,_ and I can't risk that." If I were to slip, how far would I fall? If I were to give myself over to my urges, what would I become? I shook my head, breaking away from Edward's grasp to turn away from them.

I felt as though, suddenly, the coldness of my surroundings was spreading throughout my body, leaving me numb inside. I heard retreating footsteps, followed by a door opening and closing again, but I could still feel _him_. I didn't need to look behind me to know Edward was there. His essence seemed to affect the very air around him, causing it to hum.

The distance between us was erased, and I could feel his fingers at my elbow, slowly flowing up my forearm and twining themselves into my own fingers. I sighed, feeling tethered to reality rather than floating in the wind.

"You haven't hunted in a while. Would you like to go for a run?" His voice was low and even, as if he was afraid the wrong word or the wrong tone might set me off.

I turned toward him, seeing concern crease his brow. "How about a walk instead of a run. If we happen across a meal, then great, if not …" I shrugged. My real reason behind forgoing a run was that I had some questions I needed to ask.

I didn't hold anything back. I asked him every question that came to mind. I wanted to know the history between him and Tanya. I _needed_ to know whether he felt anything for her, past or present.

To my extreme pleasure, he not only reassured me through his words, but also his actions. His lips on mine spoke volumes, and they spoke truly. Edward held nothing back in his kiss and his hands were needy, exploring my flesh and clutching me to him. His mouth was greedy, as if he was trying to taste my very essence.

_'Give yourself over to who you are.'_ Jasper's words echoed in the recesses of my mind.

Though I wasn't sure if this is what he meant, I thought it would be a good starting point. Slowly, I let go of the restraint. My walls slowly melted away, and with them, a new intensity shone through. My flesh burned—no _seared_—where our bodies touched.

I realized all at once what I had been denying myself. My restrain, my refusal to accept who I was had muted and dulled my experiences. Smells, sensations, and colors bombarded me—the intensity of them causing my head to spin.

It was spectacular. It was like I had never smelled Edward's delicious scent of honey, pine trees and musk. It was though I had never felt his touch, burning me to my core and igniting emotions that I had buried deep within.

My mouth moved against his with a new, unbridled hunger. Sounds I didn't know I was capable of escaped me and were answered with throaty grunts of approval.

I locked eyes with him, looking into the depths of his honey gaze to find that a fire blazed under the surface. In one swift motion, my hands left his shoulders and reappeared at the collar of his shirt. With impatient hands, I tore at the fabric, sending buttons and scraps of material flying. The brief loss of skin-to-skin contact was excruciating. My body ached for him.

Unable to deny myself, my hands searched his flesh, outlining each chiseled plane of his chest—feeling the delicious ripple of muscle as they stretched and bunched under my touch. Unthinking, my hands traveled south, sliding a single finger inside the waistband of his jeans.

"Bella …" He uttered my name in a half-hiss half-moan. I didn't know if he was asking me to stop or encouraging me to continue.

With a small tug of my hooked finger, the button on his pants popped open. _Oops. _My intention was to pull him closer to me—I could never be too close to him—but my plans head snapped upright as he inhaled a ragged breath.

His eyes fixated on my finger, motionless beneath his waistband. I watched his stunned silence as I delved further into his pants, finding the slick heat of his cock. My fingers stroked its tip and his hips bucked in response.

Never before had I felt this power over someone else. With a single touch—a soft caress—I could elicit a response. Slowly, my fingers encircled his shaft, closing around it. Another ragged breath escaped his lips, my name on the tip of his tongue.

Hearing my name spoken in reverence, in _awe_, was invigorating. A phone vibrated in his pocket, startling me. With an exasperated sigh, he answered it.

"Alice," he hissed. Abruptly, his eyes widened, flickering to me. In the next moment, the phone disappeared and my hand was ripped free of its prize. Unceremoniously, I was slung over Edward's back as he took off toward the Denali's cabin.

Confusion and regret ran rampant in my mind. Alice must have seen something, but what?

Then, it hit me. Before I could realize what I was doing, I was thrashing and clawing at Edward's back, scrambling to get out of his grasp. I was stronger than him. My newborn strength won out and I was soon free, running towards _it_—the smell. So _luscious_. So _heady_. So _tantalizing_.

I could feel a pulse, it thrummed in my ears, uneven, but beautiful. It was like a symphony, luring me with its song. I ran towards it like a beacon. The forest became a blur and my vision tunneled. I was no longer aware of anything or anyone else, but the _sound_ and _scent_.

It came into view in the distance, a dark form amidst the white of the snow, a halo of brilliant red encircling it. A growl ripped from me chest. _Mine._

_Crack._ I staggered, falling to my knees under the impact. I reared—it was _mine_, he wouldn't take it from me. My hands became talons. I pounced, wrapping my legs firmly around his waist while I clawed and snapped viciously at his torso.

"Be—lla." With that one word, spoken in fear, my arms fell limply at my sides. I slumped forward in defeat.

"Don't let me hurt him," I begged, burying my face into the crook of Edward's shoulder. Edward's arms wrapped around my back, holding me firmly to him as he took off again toward the cabin.

I did what they suggested. I gave myself over. I gave in, and for a time, it was exhilarating. The power was all-consuming, and in turn, it consumed me.


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry for the delay, folk****s. Having migraines constantly cuts into my computer time. Noting that, this is fairly un-edited. So excuse the mistakes.**

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Chapter 19

_Previously_

"_Don't let me hurt him," I begged, burying my face into the crook of Edward's shoulder. Edward's arms wrapped around my back, holding me firmly to him as he took off again toward the cabin._

_I did what they suggested. I gave myself over. I gave in, and for a time, it was exhilarating. The power was all-consuming, and in turn, it consumed me. _

"Tell me when you are unable to smell the blood anymore," Edward asked while still winding through the forest's trees with me thrown over his shoulder.

"You _want me_ to breathe? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

I could feel the slight vibration in his chest from a chuckle. I sure as hell didn't think it was funny, though.

"I can no longer pick up the scent, but your senses are likely much stronger than my own. Just take a small whiff and see if you can smell the human."

He tightened his grip on me, and I took it as my cue to 'take a whiff'. Tentatively, I sniffed the air. All I could smell was the scent of pine trees, honey, musk, and the distant fire that I knew was burning in the Denali's home.

"No, I can't smell the … uh …_blood_ anymore." I had to swallow back a mouthful of venom just from the thought of the word—blood. _I knew it wasn't a good idea to let down my guard. _The venom stung my throat, bringing the burning ache foremost in my mind. My hand clamped around my neck, trying in vain to ease the pain.

Edward stopped, with me still slung over his shoulder, and whipped out his cell phone.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm calling Carlisle. I need to make sure he's on his way to check out the human. Alice should have let him know, but I want to be certain."

"Oh, yeah … that's probably a good idea." I felt completely selfish an unfeeling at that moment. Here, all I was concerned about was my own reaction to a bleeding human. What hadn't even crossed my mind was that the bleeding human would very likely die if he didn't receive medical attention soon.

Edward's reasoning and thought towards the injured man only served to reaffirm his character. He and Carlisle, and all of them were inherently good. Sure, their past may have some tarnish, but they were still good people. Caring. Decent.

"You should feed … especially after what happened. It will make things easier," Edward suggested.

I sighed into his shoulder. "You're probably right, but I don't want to risk it. Not after what almost happened out there." It was just my luck. Go for a jaunt in a desolate area and wind up stumbling upon a bleeding human.

"Well, lucky for you, I can deliver," he responded, setting me gently on my feet in front of him.

The pale moonlight bounced off of the snow, illuminating his angel's face in a soft glow. I ached to reach out and touch him, but worried I wouldn't be able to control myself. Still, my fingers itched for the contact. He must have picked up on the strange look on my face as I tried to repress the need to touch him.

"I didn't mean it like _that_. I meant food. It's not that I can't … _you know_ …"

I smiled, placing a single finger over his lips. Edward scrambling for words was a funny sight, and apparently something I should be getting used to. The ever-composed Edward was unraveling, and I liked it.

I giggled. "I know what you meant." I felt the arch of his lips as the corners of my mouth turned up under my touch. _God, he had kissable lips._ I couldn't continue down that road again.

As much as I didn't want to return to the house, I knew it was an inevitability that I couldn't escape. I took Edward's hand in mine and continued toward the light in the distance. "So what's on the menu?"

"I'm sorry?"

I chuckled. "What are my meal options here? You said 'you deliver', so what should I expect?"

Edward scratched his head. "I don't know what's gotten into me lately. Well, we have plenty of elk, the usual deer, and Emmett's personal favorite—bears."

"Hmm, I've never had elk before or bear for that matter. What would you suggest?"

Edward immediately let go of my hand and pursed his lips, tilting his chin up. Swiftly, he removed his tattered shirt and smoothed it over his right forearm, tucking his left arm behind his back and puffing out his chest. I got the image of what he was going for here, but couldn't get past the sight of a bare-chested Edward.

"May I suggest the elk for the delicate pallet, or the black bear if you'd prefer something more filling? Both are currently in season this time of year."

I could hear him speaking, and somewhere in my mind his words registered, but my thoughts were still lost on the planes of his chest.

"There you are!" Alice chirped, almost making me jump in alarm. _Was I so distracted that I couldn't sense her presence?_

Alice had a disapproving look on her face as she eyed Edward's tattered shirt draped over his arm. She extended her hand for it with her head cocked to the side and an incessant tap of her foot.

Once the tattered shirt was in her arms her head whipped toward me. "Bella, you're going to have to learn to control your newborn tendencies. This _was_ Armani!"

I threw my hands up. "Finally, someone who agrees with me. All I've heard tonight is how I need to 'give in to my tendencies'. And look what happened? I shredded Armani and almost killed someone."

Alice looked to Edward and back to me. "Bella, you can't beat yourself up over the blood lust. It's natural, and try as you might to fight it—and fight it you should—you're still going to be tempted. You can't help _that_. Just … never mind, I should keep my mouth shut."

The way Alice trailed off and the look in Edward's eyes told me I was missing something.

"Just what?" I pressed.

"Never mind," Alice repeated with a flip of her wrist. "It wasn't important." She chuckled nervously before retreating back to the cabin.

"I thought we said no secrets." My eyes narrowed on Edward, who had the audacity to smirk at me during what I thought was a serious conversation.

"Actually, I said no lies. Secrets, my dear, are a necessity."

I sighed in irritation.

"Bella, Alice's visions are not always right. They see a course of action to its destination, but if the course should change, so does the destination. I don't want her predictions to sway you in to choosing a course of action. I just want to make sure that your decisions are your own—unbiased."

_Well when he put it that way, how could I be upset? _He searched my face for a reaction. I smiled and nodded my head. "I understand, but it doesn't mean I'm not curious. You _do_ have to realize how infuriating it is being left out on secret conversations, especially when the subject of those conversations is _me_."

"We will try to be more discreet next time," he answered, his face twitching as he suppressed a smile.

"Next time …" I huffed. _Of course, I knew there was going to be a next time._

I halted in my tracks, catching a scent.

"I'm sorry to startle you. I just thought it might be easier out in the open air instead of in that small room."

It was _Tanya_—gorgeous, sex-on-heels Tanya. I reached out for Edward, needing his presence to anchor me. My hand grazed the warm, soft flesh or his torso. I growled possessively, startling myself. My eyes bugged out as my other hand snapped over my mouth.

It was then that I realized something. _Well, it was worth a shot_.

"Edward, would you mind going inside?" He stared at me incredulously as I dropped my hand from his side and backed away from him. "Please?"

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" He asked, his vision flickering between Tanya and I. Yes_, I was sure_. Each time they caught each other's eyes I had to suppress a hiss or warning growl. Something deep within me—_primal_—was fiercely possessive over Edward. The threat Tanya posed, whether real or imagined, struck a chord within me, spurring me to action.

Maybe, just maybe if I didn't have Edward here standing right beside me, I could have a normal conversation with this woman. Well, maybe I shouldn't go so far to say _normal_, but a conversation at least. I was pretty certain I'd be starting off with an apology.

"Jasper can take your place if it will make you feel better," I offered.

I followed Edward's gaze to Tanya's face, once again suppressing a snarl. If Tanya was scared of me, she didn't show it. She nodded her head once, and apparently Edward received her message because he retreated back to the cabin.

It was just the two of us: an impossibly beautiful vampire who had a thing for my boyfriend, and little ol' me—nothing-fancy Bella. Awkward was an understatement, but one of us had to break the ice. Since I figured I owed her an apology, it might as well be me.

"I'm really _really_ sorry about what happened back there," I muttered with my eyes locked on the snow, idly making swirls in the soft, white drift with my toes. "I know you have no basis for comparison, but that's really not like me. I don't normally attack people for no reason." I looked up to her then to gauge her reaction.

She eyed me with a smirk on her face. "Bella, I don't blame you for a single second. Even though it was more than a century ago, I clearly remember what it was like to be a newborn. And more than that, I remember what it was like to be in love." She smiled then when my eyes flickered to hers.

"Edward and I … we … I wouldn't call it _that_. I mean …" I was backtracking now. Why? Well, I didn't really know.

"No, vampires have another word for it. You're absolutely correct." She interjected.

That was the point where she lost me. "Um, I'm not sure I'm following you."

"Oh, honey. I'm not sure I'm the one who should be telling you this. You and Edward haven't discussed your feelings for each other?"

Doubt was beginning to creep into every recess in my mind, taking hold of me. _What was Edward keeping from me? Did he really feel the same as I did for him? The electricity—the pulse that ignites when we touch. Did he feel it too?_

I could feel my eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"Never mind what I said. Maybe I should just describe _what I see_ between you … as an outsider."

My skin tingled with anxiety, but I had to know. I nodded my head furiously.

"Even a blind man could see how crazy he is about you, Bella. He protects you, hovering over you. The casual touches that you share … you probably don't even realize you're doing it. I keenly remember what it was like to be a newborn—the intensity of every sense, every feeling, and every innate reaction you had. It was impossible to comprehend everything, but your brain still tried to keep up. Add to that a budding relationship and it's no wonder you're coming undone." She smiled apologetically.

My brain dissected each comment, weighing the positives and negatives_. Edward protects me._ I recognized and understood that, but maybe my assumption of _why_ he protected me was wrong. I automatically assumed it was because I _needed_ protecting. Did he protect me out of duty? Out of love?

Of course I wanted to touch him. How could I not want to touch perfection? Still, I hadn't realized that he often reached out to me too.

Was it fair to assume that I loved more deeply than Edward? Or did Tanya perceive these things because of the feelings she has towards Edward? Were innocent touches misinterpreted through jealousy?

Looking at the calm, relaxed vampire in front of me, I didn't sense any jealousy. Of course, she had over a century of time to perfect a façade. False fronts and lies were a necessary part of this life.

"You've given me a lot to think about, Tanya," I said in all seriousness.

"I've only opened your eyes to what I have seen in the short time you've been here. Now, do you have any questions for me?" Her eyebrow arched, and I grasped at what she was getting at.

"Did anything ever _happen_ between you and Edward," I managed to squeak out, feeling that same tingle of anxiety. It's not that I didn't trust Edward completely, I did, but I also wanted Tanya's point of view. Did she feel that Edward had unknowingly led her on? Did she perceive casual interaction as something more?

"No. Never. He was always the gentleman. He gracefully declined my advances. Foolishly, I thought I could wear him down over the years. He seemed so lonely, and I too needed a companion. Esme begged me not to give up on him, but it soon became clear that it would never be." She paused to toss a warm smile my way. "I only want Edward to be happy, and I am truly pleased that you came into his life." She laughed now, an abrupt change from her mood. "You wouldn't happen to know of any single vegetarian male vampires out there, would you?"

I shook my head sadly.

"Yes, I know. They are a rarity. I guess I will have to find a wayward nomad and convince him to change his ways."

"Is there some vampire dating site out there? ?"

Tanya busted out laughing at my comment, and while it was meant to be a joke, I was curious. I mean, couldn't there be a discrete way to stipulate your nature without humans catching on?

Tanya brought her hand to rest under her chin. "You know, Bella. You might have something there."

The rest of the visit literally flew by. Thankfully, I didn't go into psycho-Bella mode and attack anyone for the remainder of my time in Denali. The hunting was amazing. I sampled elk, black bears, moose, and even a grey whale. All without stumbling upon any more bleeding humans too. In fact, the rest of the short, three-day trip was entirely devoid of human interaction.

Over the weekend, Edward and Jasper would remind me to relax a little, and I found that over time, I did. Carmen and Eleazar were really delightful to be around. They were like a Latin version of Carlisle and Esme. Eleazar was brilliant and had so many stories to tell from his eventful life. Carmen was warm and inviting, exuding a sense of safety that was supremely comforting.

Kate was a goofball, full of energy. It was no wonder that she, Emmett, and Alice got along so well. She divulged that she had the gift of electric shock. I was never able to feel it first-hand on account of my shield. Emmett chauvinistically volunteered to be subjected to Kate's shock. He thought he could 'shake it off' but ended up falling to the ground in violent convulsions. Emmett was determined that he could somehow overcome the effects, and had Kate zap him countless times before finally giving up.

It was as we were packing up to leave that Jasper's words echoed in my head. His suggestion that I should stay here in the isolation that Denali provided had me thinking. In the little time that I had been here, I had relaxed enough to let my guard down, if only infinitesimally. What would more time do for me? Would I become a well-adjusted vampire, able to control my instincts? If this were the case, then how long would it take?

I glanced over at Edward, noting the smile that graced his face when our eyes met. Could I stand to be away from him? I knew the answer—no. As much as I hated knowing that I needed him, I was also comforted by it in a strange way.

For now, I would return with Edward to Forks to see where things took us from here knowing that Denali would be a welcome escape if I ever needed one.


	20. Chapter 20

**This chapter** **is late in coming. My apologies for that.**

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Chapter 20

_Previously: It was as we were packing up to leave that Jasper's words echoed in my head. His suggestion that I should stay here in the isolation that Denali provided had me thinking. In the little time that I had been here, I had relaxed enough to let my guard down, if only infinitesimally. What would more time do for me? Would I become a well-adjusted vampire, able to control my instincts? If this were the case, then how long would it take?_

_I glanced over at Edward, noting the smile that graced his face when our eyes met. Could I stand to be away from him? I knew the answer—no. As much as I hated knowing that I needed him, I was also comforted by it in a strange way._

_For now, I would return with Edward to Forks to see where things took us from here, knowing that Denali would be a welcome escape if I ever needed one._

Monday morning began like any other typical morning in Forks. The sun was securely hidden by a dense blanket of clouds and the moisture in the air was so thick, you could almost taste it.

The rain drew out the smell that I tried so hard to ignore—the blood. So, in the same way that Forks was a haven, it was also hell. To make matters worse, I was about to walk into what could be considered the most tempting place in all of Forks.

My weekend in Denali had taught me quite a bit. I had learned to take down some of my walls, but today I had to rebuild them all in a very short period of time.

The drive to Forks High was a tense one. I could feel the tension in the car coming from everyone. I surmised that they were probably worried about how I would react to being around humans again. Not a single spoken word was uttered, but I couldn't help but notice the silent conversation between Alice and Edward. Jasper was as rigid as a board. I felt horrible.

I didn't want everyone to worry over me like this. I was a big girl, and I could deal with my own problems. Though, I could understand how my problems could concern the entire student body of Forks High, should things go wrong.

I took a deep breath before opening the car door and stepping out into the busy parking lot. Students were hurrying to their classes, unaware of the car full of vampires amidst them.

I reached toward Edward, holding out my hand for him to take. I needed his warmth to soothe me right now. I needed his scent to drown out the smell of the blood around me. With a stony expression, he took my hand in his. I could see the tick of his jaw. He was more tense than I was.

I glanced back to Jasper and Alice behind us, looking for some sort of explanation. Alice's eyes seemed glazed over, as if she were in the midst of a vision, but yet, _different_. Jasper tried to toss a pained smile my way.

Finally, unable to take the odd looks and awkward silence any longer, I asked the question that was plaguing my mind.

"Am I going to slip up today or something?" I looked around at all of them, but not one met my eyes. "If that's the case, then why don't I just go back home."

"No," Edward responded, his voice sounding almost irate. "No. Alice had a vision on the car ride that just has Jasper and I a little riled up. It has nothing to do with your self control." Edward seemed to relax minutely as he answered me.

"Edward. Can you tell me what's going on? I know you said that secrets are necessary, but you're killing me here."

Edward smiled a tense smile, and shook his head as we walked into the high school. "It's probably nothing. Sometimes Alice's visions are sometimes … off. I don't want to concern you with something needlessly."

"There you go, always trying to protect me." I smiled, reaching up on my tip toes to kiss him. At the last moment, he turned his head to the side, my lips just barely grazed his cheek. He released my hand and walked with a purpose down the hallway.

I felt hurt, but more than that, I was fearful. What had happened over the past few days? Had something clicked in Edward's head to make him no longer care for me? Why wouldn't he let me in when I could plainly see he was hurting?

Heads turned toward me as I hurried through the hallways after Edward. Whispered conversations bloomed like weeds in my mind.

'_Oops. Looks like Cullen has moved on.'_

'_New girl just got dumped.'_

'_Edward Cullen just went back on the market.'_

Their scathing comments rose in chorus with cell phones texting. I wanted to yell at them—to deny their claims—but the truth was that I couldn't.

"Edward," I called after him multiple times, only bringing more attention to my pathetic state. He never turned around, never registered hearing my voice.

Still, he was heading in the direction of our first class, so he couldn't escape me. We shared _all_ of our classes now. He had to talk to me at some point.

I took a deep breath, forming my resolve in my mind. Big mistake. With that one deep breath, the smell overwhelmed me. The scent so potent, so strong, flooded my nostrils. My vision zoomed to their pulse points, watching the delicate veins pump the elixir through their bodies.

"Abbey? Are you okay?" It was a voice I recognized, but for the life of me I couldn't place it. Hands grabbed my forearms, pulling me away. I struggled against them, but they were strong—stronger than I was.

My vision cleared to find a group of girls standing mere inches in front of me, staring at me with fear and surprise in their eyes. My teeth were bared, panting breaths making my chest rise and fall rapidly while venom pulled in my mouth, scorching my throat.

I whipped my head around to find Emmett. He had a sad expression on his face. Maybe I _wasn't_ strong enough to do this. Is this what Alice saw? Me nearly attacking two girls in the hallway? Had Edward knowingly lied to me?

No. It couldn't be. I _trusted_ him. He wouldn't betray that. I felt my shoulders slump with the knowledge of what might have been, of what I might have done.

Putting a secure hand around my waist, Emmett led me to my first class. The bell rang, freeing the halls of all the blood bags as we made our way through the door that would lead me to Edward.

Before I could apologize or thank him, Emmett was gone. I was standing in the doorway, with twenty three pairs of eyes trained solely on me. I quickly made my way to my normal seat, right next to Edward. He stiffened as I sat down. I tossed him a confused look, seeking some type of explanation, but his eyes were trained on the front of the class.

"Glad you could join us, Miss Winters." Mr. George addressed me before returning his attention to the rest of the class.

That's when it happened—when she walked through the door. It was oddly like dejah vu, like watching yourself through another's eyes.

She appeared in the doorway, a mixture of fear and anxiety written on her face. Her long, nearly black hair fell in soft waves down her back. Her face was almost the same pale shade of alabaster as a vampire's skin. Her eyes, the same shade of brown that mine had once been.

Then, she looked right at the three of us, took in a ragged breath, and fiddled with a charm that hung around her neck. Dropping her gaze, she approached the teacher's desk. The moment she crossed the threshold, Edward noticeably stiffened, gripping the edge of his desk so tightly I heard the particle board crack under the pressure. For the second time today, I reached out to him and he denied me. The pain I felt at the rejection only magnified the second time around.

"What's wrong?" I whispered under my breath at a level that only vampires could hear. He didn't respond to me in the slightest. He ignored my presence so entirely it was as if I wasn't even there.

The girl walked up to Mr. George's desk and handed him her schedule to sign.

"And your name is?"

"Brianna," the girl answered in a soft, whispering voice. Edward growled under his breath, shaking his head back and forth. Was she what this was all about? Did he know her? His eyes had surely been locked on her since she entered the class, but then again, so had everyone else's. Did she have something to do with Alice's vision?

There were so many unanswered questions swimming around in my head. Somehow, I knew that this girl, _Brianna_, was the key to the answers I needed.

I spent the rest of my Government class studying her, ignoring Edward as fully as he ignored me. She was most definitely human, that was for certain, but there was something else about her that I couldn't put my finger on. Her scent had a certain flavor to it. It wasn't unpleasant, but it struck a chord with me as _different—otherworldly_. Not surprising, as there was so much about this girl that seemed different.

She was undeniably beautiful, even by vampire standards. While slight in frame, I still had the sense she was very strong—deceptively so. Her mannerisms were not typical of the other teens in the class. She carried herself with an air of dignity and grace while also coming across as shy and demure. Just as I studied her, so did the rest of the class. The males would make lewd comments, and the females scathing ones—entirely unfair and alarmingly familiar.

She seemed uncomfortable being the subject of such attention, carefully avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room. Still, she seemed keenly aware of their attention, even though conversations were hushed, and glances hidden.

While the teacher wasn't looking, I'd take a moment to steal a glance back to Alice, who sat two seats behind me. She seemed to avoid eye contact with me at all costs. The expression on her face was both vacant and broken.

I tried to make sense of the details—to make them fit together—of the girl, Edward, and Alice, but couldn't make sense of anything. I did't remember them ever mentioning a connection to a human girl. Besides, the girl appeared to be a newcomer. New in class, and possibly new to the area.

Was I witnessing the reaction that Alice and Edward had toward me when I arrived to Forks? Was I only too blind, then, to see beyond my own insecurities? It was a possibility, but a slim one. After all, she was human, and I am a _vampire_. I posed more threat to them, and in their eyes, to the safety of the people in Forks.

A moment before the bell sounded, Edward was up and out of his seat, making a bee-line for the door. I turned back to Alice to find that she was already out of her seat, too, making a wide arch around me toward the exit. Brianna noticed their hurried exit, and looked up to find me staring back at her.

She reached down to grab her things as I shot out of my seat. I wasn't letting her get away. I had to know what it was about her that had the others so riled up. It didn't get the feeling that they were going to tell me anything, so she looked like my best option right now. Brianna was important, I just didn't know why.

She seemed to notice me making my way over to her and started stuffing things half-hazardly into her backpack and hastily zipped it closed.

"Um … hi. Brianna? I just thought I'd welcome you to Forks. I know what it's like to be the new girl. In fact, I was in your shoes only a few weeks ago. " I tried to seem as cheery as possible while I waited expectantly for her reaction.

She eyed me for what seemed like a century. It was the type of look that made me feel vulnerable, like she saw through all my pretenses. I was still new at this—at the lying and false appearances—so maybe it _was_ easy to see right through me.

I found myself taking a half step back from her. By this time, the whole room had cleared, leaving only the two of us and Mr. George. He idly sorted books on his desk into neat little piles, clearly waiting for us to leave. I'm sure if we didn't make our way toward the exit soon, he'd pipe up and suggest we do just that. I felt the need to say something, to break her concentration—to divert her attention away from her intense scrutiny of my face.

I opened my mouth, hoping something clever would come to me, but without a word or gesture, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and turned to leave.

If I hadn't already been perturbed by her strange behavior, I was now. I stalked after her, determined to get something out of her. Something that would let me know what was going on in that head of hers.

That's the point where it dawned on me. The girl, what if Edward saw something in her mind? Something that Alice had warned him about?

I stopped my progress a foot away from Brianna, suddenly fearful.

Without turning to address me, she whispered, "I know what you are." Then, as if no damning words had been uttered, she continued down the hallway, disappearing into the sea of people and leaving me in stunned silence.

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AdVocating "And Yet Dusk Fades" by AndYetDuskFades. Leah/Demetri


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